So I (was?) a virgin and hired an escort as my first experience. She was great, pretty and a really fit body. I’d say a person anyone would wanna have sex with. The problem was that she was strictly all Madarin. Me being Cantonese and Viet as my native background, understood absolutely nothing. This was my first fuck up. Communication was so hard, and we had to rely on speech to text translate.
I’ve read and seen many posts on Reddit about performance issues (you can probably guess where this is going), but I didn’t think it’d happen to me. I was horny, a virgin and didn’t jack off for like 2 days so I was raring to go.
Well we get started, she’s playing with me and all feels well and I’m starting to get into the mood. But I also have absolutely no fucking idea what the fuck I’m doing. Like zero. Porn isn’t really my go to to actually learn to perform. Anyway I try getting her in a 69 position, and we’ll.. I’m kinda just sticking my face down there while she’s working on me. I use my tongue as best as I could think to, but I clearly have no idea what I’m doing and it just kinda kills the mood slowly cause I’m concentrating so much on going down on her.
Out comes the condom and we try. I slip in for the first few thrusts but for some reason I’m getting more and more flaccid. She pulls out and we go back in forth with extremely broken English and glitchy speech to text and I’ve completely lost any drive at this point. I try to get her to maybe play with herself at this point cause hey, I like solo girl porn and maybe that might do something. Nope. Nothing.
She keeps trying and all of a sudden my times almost out. I’ve paid already for 2 shots and I haven’t even done 1. Well fuck. Okay. So she suggests just using her hand cause that seems to get the work done compared to what we’ve tried this whole time….
In the end I finish and I profusely apologize to her and everything. So basically I’ve paid to get jacked off with a hand and I dunno if it even counts as losing my virginity. I’m absolutely floored and embarassed. I wanna disappear
TLDR: Virgin, hire escort. Fail to get hard for the whole thing. Get jacked off like the sad person I am. Leave with questioning my existence and knowing I coulda just got myself off without spending the money.
Comments
It’s understandable that you can’t get in the mood with broken English and bad communication. Also don’t recommend 69 as the first position you try..
Have to get out of your own head about sex. I understand thats easier said then done but you built this idea up in your head and when it wasn’t what you expected it didn’t work.
Everything else aside.
Rule #1. Don’t go down on an escort. Ever.
Society never tells you how overrated sex is.
People think the prerequisite to getting hard is to “reserve energy”. But in reality that’s the second prerequisite. The first is feeling safe.
Foreign language, authority figure (us being virgins and all), time limit, all make for a very not safe environment.
Getting hard was so far down on the list of priorities in that moment for your brain.
EDIT: This story is pretty common for men globally and across time.
That makes total sense. Sex isn’t great when you’re overthinking or are distracted. The best sex is when you’re in the moment and having a good time, having fun with it.
Congrats you are not a virgin. You stuck it in her v at least once. Also congrats on going almost everyone in having a shitty first time.
Lots of people pay for sex, be it bj, hj, Adam (anal) or vaginal. Least you got off.
Now you don’t have to think yourself a virgin and can wait until you find someone you stay hard for even wearing a condom.
A lot of people also need an emotional connection in order to perform, which could be your case. First time jitters are also a thing. Don’t feel bad, not being able to perform is something they see often and is nothing compared to some of the weird and wild shit they see and do on a regular basis. She’s probably already forgotten you.
Gatillazo bro
Sorry to break it to you.. but you are not a virgin.. probably an amateur.. if you jack, you lose virginity that way
Doesn’t matter had sex. Penis in vagina means you’re not a virgin anymore. Try again stud.
I could never do that with someone I wasn’t 100% comfortable with. That was a big deal for me growing up, because people were pushy and shamed me for not reciprocating. Yeah, I missed out on a lot of opportunity, but I did get the best girl in the end.
Please get tested ASAP bro
It’s worth adding that a first time with an escort can be a bad experience even for men who have had multiple partners of the non-transactional kind before. Nerves, feelings like guilt and communication can be a problem.
Well I’m gonna go get tested for STDs. If all goes well you won’t see an updated TIFU
I swear I’ve read this same tifu they other dozen or so times it’s been posted by bots.
bro why are u eating out hookers fucking gross
Lesson 1. Don’t go down on an escort. 🤮
Maybe next time actually read up on the internet how to have sex. It takes like 5 – 10 minutes.
Doing things without any idea AND paying for it is, not ideal.
Eh.. there’s worse. It’s just a bad first time. Maybe next time don’t go down on an escort.
So like, when are you booking her again for the redemption tour.
How much
Next time put a finger in your anus
Oh man this is such a classic f’up young men make. To be clear, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you. Honestly, you’re not the first and certainly you will not be the last so please don’t beat yourself up over it. Just laugh it off 🙂
I enjoy the use of escorts myself and there are many escorts out there that offer a variety of services. For your next attempt, I suggest you find one that is a tad older than you are (30+) and then just be honest with her. Tell her what you expect out of the encounter (this is a business transaction after all) and don’t be ashamed of asking her. She has heard it all before, it’s nothing new to her and you’re not the first.
Ideally you’ll get an escort that offers you the “girlfriend experience”. These ones tend to be more open to virgins / newbies and some even let you kiss. Kissing is super important imo. I don’t hire any escort that doesn’t offer this service, but you do you.
And finally, there are pills (viagra/cialis etc…) you can use. I doubt your performance problem was physical, it’s almost certainly an overwhelming amount of anxiety. The pills can help give you that psychological lift to get it up and begin the festivities. Once you’re busy you’ll relax and enjoy the moment.
I wanna know how much you paid and where this was
Mandarin hooker? Rookie move.
Hope you learn from this by never hiring an escort again. Work on yourself. Meet someone. Have sex organically. It’s a world of difference than paying for it. You aren’t technically a virgin anymore. Congrats. Virginity itself means nothing lol. Sex goes so much farther than the act.
I’m praying the STD test comes back negative bro.
Don’t be so hard on yourself – You tried something you never tried before, got to experience a 69 and some thrusting, and got someone to finish you with an HJ. Others have certainly fared worse their first time out.
Consider your virginity safe. You can still lose it in a more conventional way.