I’m (M20) an intern at a very female dominated company (fashion industry), I’m the youngest in the workspace and I’m halfway through my internship but some female full time employees have askd me (clearly as a datte).
I feel a bit uncomfortable, I don’t know what to do. Is this normal behavior?
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Great way to nuke your career before it even begins.
Suck their jigglers and let em ride the bonano
Don’t shit where you eat mate. Keep your work life and personal life separate
Don’t risk your money for the honey.
Just be you, Dont try to overthink anything. And if your not looking to date any. just be honest with them.
Don’t shit where you eat. Politely say no.
Don’t shit where you eat, is a common saying.
You are young. One could suppose there’s a number of aspects on relationships that you’re still discovering. There’s a decent chance that dating goes sideways. And drama in the place where you earn your money, that’s usually not a good thing.
On the other hand, if there’s plenty of opportunities for you, and you don’t have a family to support, shoot your shot.
Did Shmidt write this?
You tell them simply and firmly, you don’t date coworkers and are not looking for a work place romance. It never ends well at work.
politely decline. as the other comments said, don’t shit where you eat
if you get too uncomfortable let HR know
It’s possible to find your love at work and it happens. It’s also very possible for it to go poorly.
I would be firm about not dating until at minimum you’re 3-6 months after internship has concluded successfully.
After that it’s up to you how you handle the attention and what you want. Of course if it’s putting you in a position where you feel unsafe you should record the incident (written down and saved) and tell your manager/ HR.
I’m the type of person that doesn’t date coworkers or people who work in the same domain as I do. Less drama.
I’ve had coworkers who dated other coworkers and things weren’t nice when things ended between them.
These are the things you need to do in the following order:
When a lady who you don’t plan on forming a relationship with asks you out, politely but firmly decline and let it be known you are not interested in dating at the workplace.
If women continues to push you, speak to your immediate supervisor first, let them know you are trying to make the best of the internship but the continued unwanted advances are getting in the way of you doing your best work. Your boss will jump all over that, they want you working not using the office as your own personal tinder.
If it continues past that, and give it a couple days from speaking to your boss first, but schedule a meeting with HD and your boss, letting HR know you already spoke to your boss and they attempted to help but the advances continue.
This is all you can do amd likely it wont stop until you leave. The biggest issue you will have is women do not believe they can sexually harass a young male. They won’t take you seriously and some of them will lash out at you, expect to ve labeled a cock tease, gay, man whore, etc..
Good luck.
With 20, and it’s only an internship? Go for it. That boomer talk with “don’t shit where you eat” is very outdated, it’s from a time where you lived to work and not worked to live.
I mean this respectfully: They’re not showing interest in you. They’re being polite.
You’re 20. It’s possible that you mistake every polite interaction with an attractive female as an advance toward you. I’m in my 30s. I know because I’ve been there.
The dead giveaway is “some full-time employees.” As in multiple career women would risk their jobs to date a 20 year old. That doesn’t happen.
My advice would just to be polite also and leave it at that
Your post history shows your obsession with women dating, their sexual choices, and is heavy on the misogyny.
I’d find a new career.
Put a little swish in your step and pretend you’re gay
Don’t get your honey where you get your money. But I married mine from work, so ymmv.
At work this is a no no!! Stay clean
Assuming the internship is over in a couple of weeks, and you don’t intend on making a career there, I would let the drama happen. Not too much lasting damage could be done in a couple of weeks.
Wait till you get your next job (elsewhere). Then ask them out.
Ignore her. Before you know it she says you raped her.
Marry the richest one you can find, then divorce her and take half.
Equality.
Go forth and multiply
I’m the only male at my workplace. I’ve been nailing the boss on her desk after work for years. The other women surely know, but have never been bothered by it or been strange to me.
They smell fresh meat. Don’t let them use up and and discard you like trash after.
DO NOT DATE YOUR COWORKERS. Your reputation will likely never recover when (not if) something goes wrong down the road.
Don’t get your honey where you get your money. Enjoy the attention, treat them respectfully, use that good mojo to meet women elsewhere.
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Unless it’s someone who you truly could see yourself with long term, steer clear. Don’t just go for it because they’re hot. If you value peace of mind and not being the topic of workplace gossip – because you will be – then don’t even think about it.
I hooked up with a gorgeous coworker when I was in my 20’s but we just weren’t compatible at all. Needless to say, things got weird after we fizzled out.
By not shitting where you eat.
No it aint, not very profesional on their part IMO. Dont react to the advances, you are there for a short period of time. Try to leave a good impression, you never know who you might cross again on your professional path
It all depends where you are. In the UK, plenty of people start relationships at work. I know looads who are married or dating. I’ve done it myself in the past. It seems to be more frowned upon in the US.
From a personal perspective (I’m in the UK), I don’t date people I work with closely or frequently and I don’t date people I manage or who manage me. Once interest has been established from both people, I try to keep the dating aspect away from work. You may not want to do anything as an intern, but it’s up to you.
play gay. nothing to see here; move along.
You don’t. Dating your coworkers is always a bad idea.
I’m a 36 yo man who has dealt with unwanted advances from female co-workers at nearly every job I’ve ever had besides construction, where there really are no female co-workers usually. You have to be firm, respectful but firm with them. And even if you have a talk with them early about your feelings on being cat called or pressured in a sexual or romantic way, they may still come back with the behavior down the road. Just remember that you are there to work and involving yourself with someone from your workplace will almost always set the timer on your continued employment there, so just think about how long you want your current job when deciding that it’s a good idea to date within your work.
yes its normal not to know what to do when fashion model ask you out on a date- for those of us on redit. fortunately you can just say yes, and sort the hard part of deciding on relationship etc. till the second or third date.
If it’s a bs job, go for it. But general rule especially nowadays is don’t shit where you eat
Politely decline and ignore them unless you have to talk to them about work.
If you are. It interested, make it clear. If you simply don’t want to date in the workplace, then make that clear. But be consistent. If you end up dating someone from work after telling others you don’t do that, there will be hostility.
Don’t pursue work place relationships if you value your job or having the reference. There are double standards galore with this and they will all be held against you if the relationship goes south. I’ve been on the receiving end of a lying female co-worker. You’re guilty until proven innocent and even when you’ve managed to do that and had your personal privacy completely violated by the company in order to do so, there are 0 consequences for said female employee for lying where you almost just lost your job.
Just tell them no and keep things strictly work related. If they’re texting or emailing you, save everything
Some men drown while others die of thirst
Yes, it’s normal behavior. Your behavior, on the other hand, isn’t.
Why is it that all these autie-types on Reddit can’t seem to speak plain English, have to take ordinary words and screw them up? It’s a DATE, boyo, not a DATTE.
In any case, considering that almost all of your conversations appear to be about AI, I’d say that even if you DO go on a “datte,” it’s unlikely you’ll go on a second one. Women in genreral do not find AI the kind of thing they want to talk about.
As a general rule, it’s not a good idea to mix dating and work.
Everybody is wrong. The only way to rack up the most wins, get promoted, and build your own confidence is to turn the tables. Play the tease, play hard to get. Make’em think they have a chance, then never give it to them. Get them all trying to earn your body, indefinitely. You’ll learn how to talk to girls, how to say no to yourself, and how to play all the toxic girls against each other. Get their ugly sides to come out against each other, and you will be the winner.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this. Like most relationship issues it has lots of grey areas and few black and white. I am dismayed to see that the majority of answers are absolute.
First, if you do decide to have a relationship, insist that it be totally outside of work. Keep your work life separate from your personal life. No banging her on the desk during lunch break.
Don’t treat her any differently at work, and insist that she do the same with you. Take separate cars/trains to work as you usually would. Do not tell any co-workers about the relationship, and insist that she do the same. ( Keep in mind that here is at least a 50/50 chance that she will agree and then blab anyway. So be prepared for sudden questions from co-workers. )
Structure your life like Clark Kent. Make your appt/house your phone booth. Change your personas there. This means that you don’t go directly from work to a date with a co-worker. You go home, change, and then go on a date.
Second, does it bother you that she might be the initiator, and she is doing the pursuing? If so, I strongly advise you to ignore that. After half a century of romantic relationships, I can tell you that women who go after what they want are generally better in bed and better for the whole relationship.
Third, make a distinction between co-workers who are nominally your equal and managers who outrank you. Dating someone who can advance or damage your career is risky. I’m not saying don’t do it; I am simply saying be very aware of the potential consequences – and manage them very carefully.
Fourth, find out what company policy is. Do it discretely. If the company is large enough to have an HR department, ask them. If not, ask the boss.
When you do it, do not allow any hint of a complaint to enter your question. Emphasize that you are just seeking information about proper behavior in the company. Do not become known to management as the source of problems. They prefer employees who can handle their own problems.
When starting such conversations, make sure that they agree that that it is confidential. ( Again, be prepared for them to break this promise )
Fifth, you cannot duck this issue. I’m amazed that many of the answers to your question implicitly assume that you can – that you can just say no and the whole issue will go away. It won’t. You are young male meat in a primarily female industry. You must be prepared.
Declining an invitation may be as problematic as accepting it. If you say no to an explicit invitation, the person may feel humiliated and do something that harms your career. Be prepared with an explanation of your imaginary girlfriend who is going to school someplace on the other side of the country. “I’d love to take you up on your offer, but I’m in a relationship.” If you do choose to decline, do it gently.
Yes, women do that all the time
Don’t stick the pen in company Ink, I sadly have alot of women at my jobs like me too many. I ignore them bud to stay safe, my money and responsibility is more important, keep your ink cleansed bro find a chick elsewhere.
There’s a risk:
So unlike others, I will not say “absolutely never do it”. There are a lot of happy marriages that started at work.
But you need to consider how it could go bad before saying “yes”. Because there’s also many destroyed men that “started at work”.
I disagree with a lot of folks who always say “don’t shit where you eat” – many people meet their partners at work and it can work out really well if you go about it the right way.
You just need to understand and be ready to accept that there’s greater consequences when things don’t go well that could extend to your career, depending on your specific situation. Personally, I had a great relationship that came from a woman I worked with. Conversely, I also had a situationship that ended so badly I needed to find a new job lol.
Don’t date coworkers dude. You’re just going to make your life more difficult and give yourself a reason to dread going in if it doesn’t work out. And it’s an added distraction from work regardless of how it’s going. There’s plenty of of these available women. Sometimes it’s easy to confused computability with proximity and attention.
Workplace romances can work. I mean, the workplace or thru the introduction of a coworker is where many people do find their spouses. There are risks tho, as you can tell from everyone telling you no.
Being known as the guy who sleeps with many of his coworkers would give you a bad reputation, so you have to be tactful of that. And, not taking the hint while pursuing a female would be awkward and impact your work
If you like them, you can always take them up on the offer at the end of your internship, especially if you are not returning to that company. I say end of the internship because I don’t know the actual office dynamic of your place.
Ask them if they have any single friends who don’t work here.
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Go to HR and report them
You’re an intern, if you don’t intend on working there get as much off the job experience as you do on the job.
It is normal to feel uncomfortable about this. There is no real way to win. And it is intimidating.
I (m, now58) was cat-called by the “ladies” in production of a Mars factory, when I was your age. MeToo was not a thing. But yeah, sounds like a dream, but it isn’t.
Anyway. Smart way: decline. And keep declining as long as you work there. And don’t give it any more attention.
If things get actually intimidating, do not hesitate to call in help from a supervisor, HR, or if there is one a “confidentiality person”.
Your choice.
You don’t do ANYTHING. You leave it alone. Don’t shit where you eat. If and when you or she leaves the job then you might want to cautiously explore the issue. As long as you are both working for the same employer just imagine she is your cute- but strictly ick off limits- first cousin.
Easy, don’t.
Get after em baby!!
If the genders were reversed here, harassment would be the theme. Women doing this with a young intern is disgusting. Avoid them at all costs.
Don’t listen to redditors negativity, half of them don’t go outside let alone work.
I had sex with our biggest client and it was the best sex ever and everything was fine. Live a little
Just be nice and professional, at least one of them is testing you lol