I’m seriously considering stopping drinking alcohol for the first time in my life.
I enjoy the odd few pints down the pub, and alcohol is ingrained in my social life, but I feel my time with drinking is coming to an end.
I don’t have a problem with drinking or drinking frequently (maybe once or twice a month); however, with the arrival of my first child, I feel alcohol doesn’t serve the purpose it once did.
I know there is no right answer, and everyone is different, but part of me wants to stop drinking altogether, while another part of me feels I’ll be missing out on certain things by closing that door.
Has anyone experienced similar recently? Just looking for additional insight
Thanks
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I stopped drinking after my 3rd child was born. I wasn’t drinking much at the time to begin with.
It didn’t really effect my social life at all. If someone wants to go out to a bar etc I’ll have a sprite or soda water. I don’t frequent bars much as it’s not my thing anymore anyways.
All I can say is not drinking for 8 or 10 days gives me a sudden boost in mood, sleep quality and wellbeing. Inevitably you will stop going to certain social occasions/settings, but this can also lead to discovering and enjoying new activities with your pals like just meeting up for food instead. It’s definitely doable, but there are inevitable social downsides that come along with the much better health and wellbeing.
I gave up a couple of years ago (I’m 37 now). I didn’t have a problem either in terms of needing a drink all the time or anything like that. But I have always been a lightweight when it comes to drinking and I just reached a point where I’m just not interested in it anymore.
One of my closest friends actually offered me a non alcoholic option when we went to a gig together, I was driving, and I thought it was actually really good. So for the past two years I’ve gone with non-alcoholic choices. I go out regularly to gigs and just social nights with work or friends. It’s made no difference to be honest.
I stopped drinking at the age of 32 or 33. It never affected my social life because I’ve had almost no social life since I was 29 or 30
EDIT:
Let me elaborate on it. I said that I’ve had almost no social life, but I did have occasions to hang around with my colleagues over the last few years. No one said anything when I chose water or something like orange juice in a restaurant
Why does it have to be so binary? It’s weird that people are obsessed with absolutes.
Continue as you are, drinking when it makes sense and it’s worth it. I don’t drink like I used to, but the idea of binary yes or no feels silly when there is a time and a place for a beach cocktail, a few beers with the boys over dinner or a few glasses of wine with the love of your life.
All these things do is stop you saying “I’ve not had a drink for xxx” – who cares!!!
I never drink and I generally don’t have a social life, so it’s all good.
That said, I am often pressured to drink at work occasions by people I work with. It used to be pretty intense pressure, but I stayed relatively rigid in my refusal. Other people “had fun” without me. Over the years, I went from being classified as a prude to just being me, and people became more accepting and understanding as they got to know me. Those who still wanted to pressure me to drink knew it was a lost cause or otherwise fucked off. I didn’t have to explain anything to them and I didn’t want to. They got used to it.
What I missed, mostly, were a lot of 40/50-year-olds trying to act like teens and regretting it wholly in the morning, and in some cases, for weeks/months to follow. For others who were more responsible, they just had a beer or two, and it didn’t affect them that I had treated myself to a soda.
Basically, those who I wanted to hang out with and were fine with and those who I didn’t really want to be with kind of self-segregated out.
677 days sober, here.
I lost all my friends and some family.
Co workers stop asking you to drink.
Didn’t affect me from going out – I became the driver 🙂
Sometimes I’ll go meet friends at a bar and have a drink called ranch water (add tajin). I just ask for it less the tequila. No one knows I’m not drinking
Quality over quantity. And that applies to every part of life since I stopped.
Except for sex. Both quality and quantity went up.
I quit drinking for a few months in my early 30s. It made me a hermit, I lost most of my friends and I got really depressed. I was never one of those people that could go to bars and drink soda and act like it was the same. The “social lubricant” effect of alcohol is really strong for me and I felt out of place.
Nowadays I drink once or twice a week, and never at home. I’m much happier.
I was an alcoholic for many years and quit drinking when I was 31. That was almost nine years ago and I’ve never looked back. I lost my entire social circle but it was necessary because those people were not helping me so I packed my bags and completely left the area. My folks helped me to dry out and they helped me to get my life back.
I stopped drinking 3 years ago when I was 36/37, health wise it is one of the best things I have done, financially wiser too-alcohol costs a lot in regards to drinking out or buying in and social activities surrounding alcohol. Alcohol is far too entrenched in communities and socialising and generational acceptance.
Socially I am much more of a homebody now, as going out and being around drunk people is pretty annoying now, having a BBQ and socialising with people in that regard is still good, I find I am having more fulfilling conversations now with people. I cant really go on the “I’ll have the courage to say that when I am tipsy/drunk”, that Dutch courage is now my normal confidence.
I didn’t stop drinking but I just don’t drink as before, (I won’t simply refuse alcohol but I’ll have a glass of beer or whine on the occasion),
At around 32 I’d say.
Didn’t change much because my social life had been very low for some time already (don’t feel like going out as before, don’t feel like going out with much younger people either, and my friend either moved far away or had a GF/Wife and they don’t call to hang out anymore)
But if I happen to go out I don’t see any real effect on myself, I just tend to go home earlier than before
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I still drink from time to time, but very little. It didn’t affect my social life that much because in my 30s we all had kids anyway, so parties weren’t a big thing. Also, people have thing going on asides from not drinking. Someone might be traveling for work in the morning, some are driving the kids to a football game in the morning, and some just don’t drink that much anymore. At this point we just want to hang out in peace at a bar watching the game, without the rest of the family and the responsibility that entails.
Additionaly, non-alcoholic options are getting better and better lately, so I could easily order an acceptable tasting non or low alcoholic beer.
I still do a lot of the social stuff I did when I was drinking all the time and don’t see a difference at all not drinking doing those things.
For example, tonight I went down to the bar to watch the Nuggets NBA playoff game. I just had a chicken caesar salad and a lemonade…had an amazing time.
I socialized with other patrons and the bartender the same as I normally would when I would’ve been drinking.
I was nervous at first going to social events and activities being sober. Having a drink in those types of things was all I’ve ever known in my 20s as society makes it seem as if it’s necessary. I was worried it wouldn’t be as fun sober. Of course I also worried about what others would think too.
Truth is no one really cares and if someone does it’s most likely them projecting their own problems with alcohol onto you. Most people are capable of being social without having booze, I think people are just so used to using it as a crutch, they’ve never tried doing this stuff sober.
I say take a 3 month break and reevaluate how you feel after that.
Lost a lot of friends.
Those friends were only there for me as drinking buddies.
Nothing else.
I gave up alcohol when my wife was pregnant and it was a really good move.
Social life now is anyway about work and kids, so I don’t miss a lot. I meet with friends who have kids and we cook together a lunch in my backyard etc. Alcohol is not required, even not welcomed.
I also dont want my kid to see his father drunk. It makes terrible memories.
Last but not least, giving up alcohol provided me with a space to create something new – new social persona, new hobby etc.
It’s great!
Last year I took a few months off… it was very eye opening. I realized and for the first time openly admitted that I had an issue with alcohol. Im lucky that I can drink occasionally now, but it got pretty bad.
I’d say most men’s lives would be massively improved by cutting out alcohol, especially when it regularly leads to hangover, or when it’s the main social glue in their friendships.
I quit at 37 when my first child was 3 for similar reasons. As a father of young kids I don’t have much of a social life let alone one that involves drinking. Sure there are parents that use it as their crutch for the stresses of parenthood but I don’t know how they do it, the idea of being hungover with noisy children running around is my idea of hell. It also isn’t a healthy habit to rely on, instead I negotiate time out having peaceful walks or whatever. There is also a growing number of parents that took this path and I have socialised with them drinking non alcoholic beers and alternatives, I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything good.
I’m 1301 days sober and can thoroughly recommend it.
I miss the taste of alcohol more than any social situations. Alcohol free beer is getting better. Peroni and Guinness are alright.
489 days sober. I quit because I got in a burnout, and alcohol was making my anxiety way worse. It was the best discision for my mental health I could make back then, but my social life suffered from it.
Normally I would go to the same bar every friday and saturday to meet friends. After I quit I stopped going to the bar, which meant I barely saw any friends. Without alcohol my social battery drains really fast, so I also stopped going to parties and other social gatherings.
As of today I’m back to work, and it’s going fine. Still not drinking to stay mentally stable, but also not seeing many friends. I want to reach the 500 day mark, and when it feels right want to try a little alcohol. I realised some social events just aren’t as fun and relaxed without alcohol. I tried a lot of different social events sober, but I wasn’t enjoying them a lot sober. I maybe sounds stupid, but alcohol does add something to my life. I just don’t want to drink the same amount as before.
Thanks for reading, just needed to share.
I stopped about 1.5 years ago. I no longer visit the establishments I got drunk in, so I no longer see the people there. Apart from that, my social life hasn’t really changed. In the beginning people asked why I stopped but I chose to interpret that question as interest, not as a request to justify myself.
If you are interested in stopping, I can recommend r/stopdrinking. You’ll find many different stories there, as well as ways on how people deal with sobriety/drinking.
I stopped when I was 21. Now 36. Just because you choose not to drink doesn’t mean you still can’t go out and enjoy life. If you don’t want to feel left out at first just switch to non alcoholic beer. If anyone gives you a problem about it then possibly they’re not worth the time. I’ve personally saved god knows how much and you can even look at it like all the money not spent on booze you could use for activities/education/ etc with your child.
I’m in my mid-40s and I quit drinking at 31 years old. It turned out most of the people I thought were my friends were just my drinking buddies and I really didn’t like them anyway. I have a few friends that I see every now and again and I text with nearly daily but I prefer my hobbies and my family so I’d say I have a perfectly good social life and I don’t blow a ton of money on booze and the repercussions of drinking.
I had to literally re-learn confidence as something separate from alcohol. Took a while tbh. For months I had zero motivation to even try.
I(M34) wasn’t a problematic drinker but definitely was guilty of binge drinking on weekends with mates in my 20s. I’ve definitely cut back in my 30s for several reasons. New Monday to Friday job instead of FIFO/roster rotation, to help losing weight for my wedding and for general health, and now we’re trying to have a baby.
To be honest the only way it’s affected my social life is if I let. Drinking definitely goes hand in hand with me for socialising and I still absolutely love a beer or 4, but if I’m not feeling it I’ll drink alcohol free stuff or just soft drink, usually sugar free or flavoured soda waters. They’re still in a can, I can still be a part of the social action but I just don’t feel like shit the next day. I enjoy waking up earlier than later now and making the most of my day with my wife and dog. We still go and socialise but sometimes we’ll drink and sometimes we won’t.
And every now and then we’ll lick the stamp and absolutely send it and spend the next day hungover on the lounge. It’s all about balance.
Zero change for me, I still hang out with the same friends. They know I don’t drink and it doesn’t affect our relationship at all.
I save a tonne of money on pub trips
36 and have rarely drank anything over the last six years. tbh I feel much better for it, it improves your mood, sleep quality and energy. It takes about three or four days to recover from even a few drinks. I don’t think you get much from drinking on the one night its actually enjoyable. 3,4 maybe even five days of effect for one night of enjoyment? thats a heavy toll for one night. If i was a dad I probably wouldnt drink at all tbh. I genuinely odnt think im missing out on anything, a drink down the pub with some mates sounds good or maybe on holiday but if im feeling it for 5 days after not worth it. a walk and a drink sounds ok but not necessary to enjoy myself.
you wanna be the ebst version of urself? don’t drink, thats my advice.
I stopped drinking regularly during COVID, and can’t say that it’s really affected my social life. There are plenty of non-alcoholic beers that scratch the itch and none of my mates have an issue with it.
I used to drink beer almost every day, it was normal for me to crack cold one after work, but now i drink few pints once per week, i feel much better. No hangovers, more energy, better sleep and appetite. For now I don’t want to drop for good, because i still enjoy go to the pub and get few pints, i dont get hangovers from that amount of beer anymore, maybe because of 30 pints i drink 3 instead per week 😅
No change except now I watch other people get sloppy
Kids more than giving up alcohol killed my social life. I stopped drinking about 6 years ago due to some medication I was going on. It was a little hard for a bit as I would be the only one not drinking, but I discovered kombucha, then hop water, then moved into NA beers. That got rid of the social anxiety angle when out and about with the people I still spent time with if everyone was drinking. It was a mental image of people judging me that drove it. Had several people try to push me to drink and having an NA beer in a red solo cup or some other glass, and it looks the same. Pair that with some cannabis and I don’t miss it at all. No hangovers is great. I can chase my kids around all day and not worry about getting drunk while I’m bbqing. I did lose a hobby as I was a home brewer, but now I just use my kegging stuff for sparkling water for the kids and me.
I lost everyone I thought was my friend. Turns out they were just co-alcoholics with me. Best decision ever, because after that, I met my wife, someone I never would’ve met as a drinker.
Most of my friends have a family and kids, so social life with them is gone anyhow.
What is nice is my health. I am virtually literally as fit if not far fitter then in my twenties and I barely do any sports, I just hike and do some kettlebells.
This marks second problem, those dudes that would go on a 25k run after a bender: they won’t do that anymore 🙂 and slowly they won’t be able to do it without a bender.
I switched to seltzer on the rocks in a tall glass with a wedge of lime. Looks just like the vodka and tonic I used to drink.
I found that if the optics are good in public people will leave you alone.
I used to entertain a lot at home.
When I stopped buying liquor many people just fell away. I feel so much lighter and freer now that they are gone.
I became the designated driver and everyone was my buddy.
I haven’t drunk since I was 21. If your social life and friend group heavily revolves around drinking then yea it’ll probably affect it quite a bit. But the good thing about social life is that you can make it what you want. I lost nearly all of my 21 year old mates because they were only interested in drinking.
But you make new friends or only keep the ones who are actually interested in your company.
I fully recommend it. But realise that not everyone can cope with actually having to find common ground with people that isn’t just getting drunk
Stopped being invited out on the nights out. But I don’t care and I’d rather be not having hangovers and investing that new energy into anything. The friendships were very superficial.
At that age, people in my circle really didn’t have time to hang out and drink. I’d already lost a lot to marriage, parenting, moving away etc.
I can’t say I ever chose to stop drinking, it just kind of faded away from my life as my peers entered a new phase of life. I’m fine with maybe a drink or two after work (and that happens once every few months), but the whole time I’m wondering if it’s going to disrupt my sleep and cause me to feel like shit the next day, hah.
Im closing in on 60 and Ive found that most of my friends (myself included) just stopped alcohol for the most part. We might have a beer with dinner, but mostly we dont drink anymore. We still have a good time, but it doesnt revolve around alcohol.
If someone needs to drink to have a social life, they have a bigger problem or hanging out with wrong people.
I haven’t even started drinking alcohol since I don’t like social pressure and I don’t sell myself to giant brewing corporations. People, obviously, take this as a lack of money to spend in alcoholic drinks, paint me as a brokie and they hate me.
Best decision I ever made. Everything improved. I still go to social gatherings but just have a non alcoholic beer or something.
I stopped after we had kids so my social life was already pretty slim. It definitely helped me shed a few lbs and helped my sleep. Now I’ll have a couple drinks maybe once every couple weeks. or on the rare date night. Once I turned 30, the hangovers are way worse, and that makes it harder to ignore the overall health risks.
The people that are worth a dime will respect you for it.
Anybody with an issue is an issue
I’ve never enjoyed the taste of alcohol, so I drank with a purpose when I did. Definitely not a “have a drink with dinner” guy, but I can tie one on tailgating or at a golf scramble. But I usually I volunteered to be DD.
I’m in my late 30s now, and the going-out scene is something neither my friends or myself have sought out in well over a decade. Lots of backyard fires, which they’re more than welcome to bring their craft IPAs & whatnot.
The only thing my social life might have missed? Declining on trips to breweries. And even then, a lot seem to make their own sodas (which are delicious) & have good food. Those breweries I’ll tag along to.
Besides, who needs alcohol & hangovers when you can have edibles? Much better alternative if you ask me.
Sober nearly 2 years now.
Nothing much has changed for me aside from having the awkward “I don’t drink” conversations from time to time.
It’s tough to say which was more prevalent as the reason for losing what I consider cheap and shallow friendships…Not going out and drinking or having a baby. Either way, all the people who really cared stayed and those who were friends for what I now consider “vanity reasons” left. I’m healthier, my son has a good example to look to for health, so it was all worth it.
Sober 8 years. I cared more about me not drinking than anyone else. In fact I found that most people forgot after I told them the first time.
Listen to me. I live in asia and spend time in bali. Besides drunk short term tourists NO ONE drinks anymore. The hot girls the cool guys they barely drink. I got to late 30s and suddenly hungover wasn’t worth it. Guess what im leaner than i was in college. Apparently alcohol IS a killer for fat loss. (Its 7 calories per gram ) carbs are 4.
It sometimes makes me feel fun to change my mood but overall im raw dogging life. And i love not being hungover next day its literally a hack for partying.
I cant believe how much life revolves around “getting a beer” for some people and for me before. Like wtf
I used to drink on the weekends until I really got into mountain biking. I would have three drinks on Friday and even though on wouldn’t be really hungover on Saturday I noticed my riding would suffer. I very rarely drink at all now. I like waking up early with energy and a clear mind.
Stopped at age 45, should have at 35
Was an adjustment and leaned on others who had already thru fellowship
Over time I learned new routines, got more active; ( gym, yoga, bike ) and found many new friends, could also be with old friends once I got comfortable how to be sober, and not the drinker with them
All in all – best decision I ever made for my general quality of living, it wasn’t hard once I saw how much better it was for me
I have always been a homebody and an old soul so not much. Plus having a hangover with little kids is hell. I figured out early on most things I enjoy are better sober, and stuff that requires drinking to enjoy usually sucks. Plus a lot of people drink to cope with life and I prefer to deal with shit head on. It’s much easier in the long run. Whatever you lose by not drinking is worth it.
I’m not a male and older. But when I quit drinking the only ppl I MYSELF stopped hanging with were a bunch of drunk neighbors who obviously hated their lives.
If you lose friends over not drinking. They weren’t friends to begin with.
In reality… a new baby will be a bigger killer to your social life than stopping drinking. 😆
And if you REALLY want to shut friends up about drinking. Just tell them you had a problem….. PEOPLE get real quit when they suddenly think they are harassing an alcoholic 🤣😂
And then they empathize.
All joking aside. My family has alcoholics. My brother is recovering alcoholic 7yrs now. My uncle died from cirrhosis and he was told a year before he died to quit drinking.
He did not quit drinking.
Last year I went some for 15 weeks.
I just found the pub boring when not drinking, I’d have something to eat, a few 0.0s, and then I couldn’t wait to get out of the place, especially when everyone you’re with is getting more drunk.
I’ve stopped drinking almost all together. In the last 6 months, I’ve had 3 drinks. On Christmas, on my birthday, and day of my promotion.
I’m doing it 100% for my mental and physical health, but in social settings I feel like a dweeb at best, and pretentious at worst. It doesn’t affect my social skills bc I’m a naturally chatty person, but I worry about the visual of it. I was telling a friend, next time I go out I think I will order my water and ask them to make it appear like a gin and tonic or something.
I’ll be honest, with the booze went the bonds. Apparently they weren’t that strong. I stopped drinking in 2013. I almost immediately lost my friendship with my brother, and very swiftly after our relationship all together. I had already drank most of my friends away from me. The few I had I just sort of lost touch with for various reasons. I’d be wrong if I said the alcohol was a leading reason for me to hang out with some of those people.
Be prepared to lose friends. Even if drinking isn’t you’re driving force to be there, it may be theirs.
Sure there are some tasty alcoholic beverages… but When you have a partner and a family and a home… why do you need to be out drinking with people or drinking by yourself at home. What purpose does it serve? If you drink to get intoxicated that’s a problem and there’s no reason for it if you have a stable work and life and family
i’ve never been a heavy drinker but i’ve also arrived at the conclusion that Alcohol does nothing to improve my life. lately, i’ve just been ordering non-alcoholic beer when i go to social events..
0 alcohol beer is a good replacement for social settings where everyone else drinks.
Almost stoped drinking alcohol since COVID with surprisingly little impact.
It doesn’t have to. Always order sparkling water with ice and lemon. Nobody bothers you and you live your own life the way you want it.
The people who were most important to me stuck around. The people who were really mostly just drinking buddies, I don’t get invited out as often, but if there’s like a big party or some special occasion, I get an invite. Sometimes I go, sometimes I don’t. I’ll hang out and even have fun until they get too drunk and then I go home and go to bed. I think I’ve been incredibly fortunate and not everyone will share my experience.
I stopped drinking for dry January and kept it up through February. Didn’t make a ton of difference although I’m not a heavy drinker. Usually a beer or two, one bourbon, etc. never to excess and likely can legally drive every time I’ve drank in last 2 years (I don’t drive if I’ve had a single sip of alcohol but my point is, my consumption is always under .08).
I sleep better without alcohol in my system. Usually only willing to get worse sleep on weekends when I can sleep in a tad.
I haven’t stopped drinking but I know if I did it would severely impact my social life probably ending up being much worse for me due to the mental health problems than my pretty tame drinking is. A friend of mine stopped drinking recently I hadn’t seen him in like a month he came to a cookout at my house he said it was the first time he’s seen anyone else in over a month haven’t seen him since.
I stopped drinking at 20 and I don’t think it changed anything.
I’ve dated tons of women was married had kids got divorced and dated tons of women.
I’m not in your situation. I just want to say good for you. I wish more people were like you. You are possibly saving your children worlds of confusion and sadness.
Do it. You’re obviously a decent person, probably not going to have issues tweaking your social life if need be.
I stopped at 26 and I never missed or regretted anything about it.
I’m not in your situation. I just want to say good for you. I wish more people were like you. You are possibly saving your children worlds of confusion and sadness.
Do it. You’re obviously a decent person, probably not going to have issues tweaking your social life if need be.
Better, better, and better in every way. Give it a try, nothing to lose.
It’s been totally fine for me. My view: if someone only wants to see me when we’re drinking, it’s not a true friendship.
I worked to actively replace the drinking buddies.
My hobbies shifted to activities and communities where alcohol is just not the focus. Exercise groups, joined a shooting club, church, etc.
Good luck!
For me I quit drinking bc I had a death in the family and the stress resulted in gout flare ups. I decided to quit while I was figuring out my therapeutic level of allopurinol (gout meds). You wait usually a month between dosage increases then have a blood test to see if you’re ua levels are low enough. Anyway it took about 3 months for me but by then I realized alcohol didn’t really serve me so I thought eh I’m going to go 6mo and see how I feel. After that I thought a year break would be good but I kind of knew in the back of my head I didn’t really want to ever drink again. My social life is the best it’s ever been, I’ve made an effort to meet ppl who have the same interests as I do rather than just go to bars and drink. I feel stronger and more confident.
I just lost my mom to suicide this past Monday. It hurts really badly. I lost my younger sister to a heroin overdose a little over a year ago. I also lost my father to an OD back in ‘96. I can’t help but say that if I were drinking right now I’d be having a much tougher go of it. When the bad things happenedI wouldn’t necessarily turn to the bottle but some nights I would when I felt like I couldn’t bare it. I feel like my footing hasn’t ever been this strong and I can be there for my family in a way Idt I could be if I were still drinking. I feel like life is easier to navigate and clearer than it was when I drank. Both my folks were big drinkers and that also impacted me tremendously. If you have it up I think not only would you be happier but you’d be doing your kid a service even if you aren’t drinking much. Idt it’s the necessarily the devil, many ppl drink responsibility but in life bad stuff happens and the drink can gradually take you. By not drinking you eliminate this possibility. Anyways this probably isn’t the type of answer you’re looking for but just my 2c
154 days sober here. So still very new. Take my experience with a grain of salt. My social life was my biggest deterrent for not stopping earlier. I really convinced myself I would be a social mess without a beer in my hand and the invites would just dry up. I have had more fun at social events in the last 154 days than I did in the last few years drinking, I am more coherent, I am a better conversationalist, I am more interested in people I’m talking to, I’m less self conscious, I have a better time, I feel great the day after, and I remember everything. I was worried people would just know I had a drinking problem when I suddenly didn’t have a beer in my hand at parties; told a friend last week who I had been at several parties with recently and he didn’t even notice. Can’t recommend quitting enough. Most parts of my life have improved.
Increased confidence, self-esteem, I know who I am!
I never have been a BIG drinker as it is anyways. But once I said I’m going to stop drinking to get drunk. lol
My wins, small wins have compounded & gotten me to where I am today.
U become who u surround yourself w/ my close friends don’t drink. They do psychedelics SOMETIMES. Not all the time, & I think that’s probably a better alternative to drinking.
It’s too easy to just grab a drink & socialize then feel like 💩 the next day.
I have some of my old friends that still drink and I have made new friends and built closer friendships.
I found out pretty quick who my real friends were and who just wanted to hang out with me to drink.
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I stopped drinking when I was 28. I’m 40. What really affected my social life is that all my friends sucked. They are all selfish users. I’m an incredibly able person. I don’t mean that to sound arrogant but I’m a great friend to have as I have an actionable skill set that can save them money but turns out if I’m not offering my assistance or knowledge I’m not that useful in their lives. It’s kind of crazy realizing that people you have invested a lot of time and effort in really suck. Alcohol just made them more tolerable.
Me and my dog are closer than ever and I’m not even mad about it.
I scaled back my drinking quite a bit in my 30s, mostly because I have a medical job and I got a license to protect. We have friends who go out at least 2 or 3 times a week and I can’t afford 3 or 4 hundred in bar/restaurant tabs
I stopped regularly drinking in my 20’s. Had very little to no impact on my social life.
I was a heavy party guy for a long time. I would host lavish parties at my house. There were probably 300 people I could conjur up on any given night to come over. And it was always centered around alcohol. Letting the good times roll as they say.
Until one night I got black out drunk at my own party, I got really sick that night, and was probably much closer to death than I realized.
And just like that, I stopped drinking altogether. It really wasn’t hard for me personally to give up. I even poured some of it down the drain.
Those 300 friends I had? Yeah they disappeared pretty quick. When you stop pouring free booze you learn who your real friends are. Only about 10 of them stuck around.
Which was actually a great thing. Because I was busting my ass to maintain relationships with like 290 something people who didn’t really care about me at all. Now I don’t have to.
I still have a drink or two for special occassions. But it really is just for special occassions. Like truly special ones. And we’re talking a glass of champaign at New Years. No more drunk intoxicated wild nights that I won’t remember. No more big expensive bar tabs. No more bottom shelf wells.
The moctail as an alternative concept has been a game changer though. You can still have fun coctails without alcohol. You can mix the same conbination of fruit juices or punch or whatever, and the drinks are usually pretty much the same without it. You can splash some grenadine in your orange juice. The rum adds nothing to the piña colada. Sparkling grape juice. Gingerale. You can participate in the social aspects of drinking or the enjoy the tactile experience of an exotic beverage without the alcohol.
But it does bother me sometimes. The culture is obsessed with drinking as though it is a hobby. So I’ll be out there doing truly enjoyable things. But my friends and coworkers will be drinking. Saying stupid things they don’t mean, but actually do. Getting into fights or trouble. Having to waste a day on a hangover. Killing their liver. Exhausting their kidneys. It all feels like a chapter I’m glad that I closed. I feel healthier and better off without it.
But all things in moderation including moderation. You can always cut back, but you don’t necessarily have to stop entirely. But if you’re thinking about it, it’s probably a sign.
Stopped 3 years ago and haven’t looked back. Not even tempted to get a beer at family gatherings and stuff. Similar situation as you you… started just before the birth of my child.
I feel better for it, I had slowly stopped drinking as much for a few years anyway. Then in 2020 (covid lockdowns lol) I realised my drinking had shot up again and it was becoming a problem, managed to go 3 years sober. Now I’m at a point I can go have a social drink or two with friends but don’t feel the need to go get pissed, or have a relaxed 1 drink in the garden if its a nice evening. I don’t feel I’m missing out if I go out and just have a soft drink and driving, ‘going to the pub’ for me was always about socialising anyway, so I’m still able to get social interaction that way and I don’t feel bad for it. my mental health is better too
7 years sober. My social life disappeared after I made some very strong boundaries to protect myself.
I still won’t go to bars. Pubs or other events where alcohol is consumed as a primary focus. Hell I’m rarely comfortable with people drinking in a restaurant but I can manage that.
I found better stuff to do. Focused on my own life and progressed how I want.
It’s lonely out there but the people I do meet are far more genuine than the drinking buddy “friends” I knew for 20 years that dropped me like an empty can.
My friends changed, along with my hobbies.
Now I drink tea and 0% beer with the motorcycle crowd.
…..with a new born maybe don’t get into motorcycling, firat year tends to he the riskiest, but like…..cricket or something
I didn’t completely stop drinking but drastically reevaluated my relationship with alcohol when my child came into my life.
You’ll probably find that your friends will likely all start to pull away a bit and have kids of their own and eventually you’ll be able to get together for other things kid related where alcohol might be involved but it’s secondary and everyone is more responsible.
Then you can laugh about how irresponsibly stupid your buddies once were sitting in front of you now as great fathers.
What prepared my buddy for a kid in each arm? Why double fisting pints of beer of course.
Is there suddenly somethign wrong with just drinking in moderation, you can still go out and have a good time you don’t have to go overboard.
It hasn’t changed for the most part. But some friends don’t really come around anymore.
Are this many people only socializing with alcohol? I think my friend group drinks maybe four times a year if that and that’s how it’s been since we were 21
But I think we also were the rare friend group that nobody celebrated turning 21 by getting absolutely wasted and going to 100 bars. We didn’t care great. You turned 21 big deal….
A 6 pack a month is my code. I’ll usually have a night out with friends once a month where I have 3-4, and a work function where I just blend in with a beer in my hand. When I hit about 35 I lost the desire to have my sleep affected and lose days feeling like crap. Take a 2 month break, and watch how much your sleep and energy levels improve. I love not feeling crappy. That one night out a month is a reminder of why I don’t drink. I’m hung over after 3 beers and I pound water.
I’ve stopped drinking, all of my friends and family still do. I buy beer for parties at my house, encourage people to drink in my home and not feel uncomfortable. I regularly go to bars and don’t drink alcohol. Drinking culture has been ingrained in me from a young age, I never really removed myself from the culture, just the drink itself.
Honestly, breaking the coke habit was harder than alcohol. *coke the carbonated beverage. 180 days coke sober
I am still friends with my friends and we hang out occasionally but I’m definitely the odd man out. Completely fine with that. Quitting alcohol was by far the single best decision I made for my life.
Saved thousands of dollars, I have my health and I remember my life. Alcohol is very destructive.
I’ve stopped drinking because my social life deteriorated 😂 friends started being married, being too busy with work and having kids so left less time to drink.
The hangovers started getting worse so not a bad thing. Hardly drink now and it doesn’t bother me. Social life could be better but pretty much given up with that.
5 years sober, and I’m 43.
Honestly, my social life has mostly died out with the kids and covid…
But no one really cares. I just don’t drink, have fun and don’t worry about it.
Sobriety can be a super power in social settings. You can drive people home, remember promises made and hold drunk idiots accountable.
It’s great!
Going on 5 years without drinking(I stopped in my late 20s). Every perspective of life improved. (Financial, mental, emotional, sexual, physical, etc)
I was more accountable for my actions and also felt like my time was reclaimed.
Constantly spending my life in a stupor/buzz felt like the alcohol was consuming me and not the other way around.
Drinking to not remember majority of the nights out just to spend the next day in recovering gets old.
Definitely try to relearn how to have fun and enjoying things without alcohol.
Lastly, if you do make this decision for yourself and a person in your life tries to push your decision, they don’t respect you. Misery loves company
I used to drink in my apt alone. Now I live with a 9.