I’m just curious what other people think
I understand that alcohol lowers inhibitions, but is it really true that people can say something that has nothing to do with how they actual feel when they are sober?
What if they said it on two separate occasions while inebriated, but when they are sober, they claim it’s not really what they meant? How bad would the confession/statement have to be to hold it against them?
Comments
No, I don’t. I know from experience
No. Nonono. As someone who said plenty of random shit while drunk, I know for a fact that this rule doesn’t apply to everyone.
I’m just sayin, those drunk words were incubated from somewhere…. I’ve always been a believer of this concept.
I think they are sober thoughts, but it really cannot be overemphasized how many very stupid thoughts people have during their sober lives and how not seriously the owner of those thoughts takes those thoughts which is why you haven’t heard of these “shower thoughts research effort” -quality gems until they were drunk. More than likely it’s something they’re working through internally that is “on their mind” but again, just because it is on someone’s mind doesn’t mean a thought should be weighed as heavily as an action.
I’ve said some pretty weird stuff when I’m drunk, and it’s just because I’m thinking about it, not because those are my held beliefs or they are things that I think are true. I tend to end up in the Musings level of my brain, which is well before the final QA checkpoint where I sign off on a thought leaving my mouth to be considered as representative of me.
I think drunk confessions are warped. They are not necessarily the truth, they are often the worst kind of fleeting, intrusive thoughts a person has that are distorted and should be worked through. But if a person is drinking so dysfunctionally that they keep getting wasted and getting stuck on a loop of that kind of thing, they aren’t processing the root issues behind them, and they probably need to cool it on the drinking and deal with their shit.
But no- I don’t think those statements are what the person believes in their heart. More likely what they are afraid of, or what their most depressed, dramatic selves would blurt out. Sober them would probably be like: wtf, that’s not really how I feel, and feel very guilty or ashamed for verbalizing it totally wrong.
At least, that’s my experience as a recovering alcoholic who has remained friends with my alcoholic queer loved ones for over a decade since quitting drinking.
I think there may be some element of truth but it gets extremely heightened / dramaticized. As an example, I told a guy I was dating that I hated him when I was drunk, but in truth I was just annoyed about something in the relationship and it was nowhere near that magnified.
As someone who had to clean up their drinking because it had detrimental consequences to me I can fully say that no— it is not blanket that drunk words = sober thoughts.
There are soooo many things I’ve done and said drunk that sober me would neverrrrr.
Now has alcohol also given me courage to do or say things I wouldn’t have done or said otherwise? Sure.. there’s room for that. But it’s def not safe to assume that someone’s drunk confessions are legit
I think they are. The information was there before it just took alcohol to bring them to the surface.
Hell no. I be lying the most when I’m
drunk. I also start being overly friendly with ppl I don’t like.
not always, no.
honestly the impulsiveness make them more like socially-disabled thoughts and they’re really not always how you feel. that’s why people slur while drunk
I would say no, definitely not always. My husband is an alcoholic (now sober) and some of the things he would say when he was blacked out were completely out of line with his character and our relationship. He would think I was an ex-girlfriend and start talking to me like I was her (using her name, etc.) and saying awful things. It was to the point where if he didn’t clean up his act, we were not going to be together much longer. I had recorded one such instance because I was sick of it and played it back to him the next day and that was the tipping point for him to get clean. He didn’t mean the things he said and he sure as hell has never spoken to me like that since that day.
To a point, alcohol can lower your inhibitions and cause you to say some things you normally would have kept to yourself or maybe said differently, but if someone is to the point of being black out drunk, I would not take the things they say as their inner truth.
I don’t think it’s a universal truth if I’m honest, I think it very much depends on the person.
For example some people are just bastards when they are drunk and say literally anything to make you feel bad. On the other hand though, other people are very happy and loving drunks and confess they love the nearest shrubbery.
It just depends 🤷♀️
I think for some people, alcohol also alters their thoughts/opinions about things.
It’s like if someone is clinically depressed, they’re going to think things are worse than they are. Then when they go on medication, they see these same things differently.
So I don’t think drunk thoughts expressed drunkenly should be taken S “honest” thoughts. Drunk people are less inhibited and have no filter, sure, but their thoughts and opinions at the time are also not accurate to how they would normally feel/think.
No. I’m a terrible liar and struggled with lying, except when drunk.
I apparently called some girl ugly at a friend’s birthday dinner but I REALLY don’t remember!!
If I openly called someone ‘ugly’ I would have meant their behavior or attitude—she was the kind of person who just starts talking about vulgar sex acts, think gross 14 year old boy language. She would make rude comments about people she didn’t even know. A friend brought her to mine and my (now) husbands’ house warming party and she didn’t know anyone else there—but made plenty of off color comments that made the whole room quiet.
I’m by no means a prude, but we were all in our mid-twenties and well beyond the 14-year old boy talk 🙄
But of course it was assumed that I was making a comment on her looks. Other than her, no one was mad at me—IMO that says enough.
I told my husband once that I wanted to do some super kinky things that I don’t want to do. And I mean, I really don’t want to do them. I was nearly blackout (I have some recollection of a very sexual conversation but no direct memory of it). He doesn’t drink at all so I fully trust his recollection.
So drunk confessions aren’t always confessions.
No. I’ve had practical strangers tell me they love me while drunk. I do think people who turn into angry AHs when they’re drunk have a much more angry inner dialogue when they’re sober than they let on.
My partner’s cousin is a guy who would pick bar fights every single time they went out. It turned out he’d been holding in a very painful secret and harbouring a lot of anger. Doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but the anger he expressed when drunk was definitely real.
100% except for sexual convos, those can get wild when drunk.
No. I’ve talked some absolute bullshit when I was drunk.
Based on my own personal behavior, it truly depends. I may say something I very much feel or believe while drinking that I never would think or care about sober. A lot of emotions feel way more dramatic and over the top when drinking and a lot of times our reactions are too.
I think they are dramatized sober thoughts.
Alcohol can be the truth serum but it often isn’t. It’s far too nuanced to be black and white.
Nope. I’ve lied before to someone when drunk purely because I wanted to hurt their feelings, not because I actually believed what I was saying.
Not me. I turn into a compulsive liar when I get drunk. I do it all for the plot.
Alcohol is not truth serum – in fact, truth serum is also not truth serum.
No, I think the science of intoxication actually shows us that it isn’t sober thought, it’s lack of thought completely. Being drunk lowers activity in the prefrontal cortex where we make intelligent decisions and rational thought. If you’re looking for a truth serum, alcohol is not that.
It’s more like a funhouse mirror. It reflects something true but heavily distorted.
Hell no. I’ve straight up lied when drunk, especially when additional substances were involved. Alcohol also made me much friendlier to people I wouldn’t usually want to hang with- like at parties. One of the many reasons why I got sober.