My dad died when I was 16, I’m 30 now.
Found out my husband was cheating on me our entire marriage with prostitutes
My mom has been so unsupportive and horrific and I’m NC with her right now.
I just feel like my life is falling the fuck apart. My baby is turning one soon….he is amazing and I love him so much.
But what the fuck?!
I’m also an only child so it feels very lonely right now.
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Man right after my kiddo turned one I found out my husband had been cheating our whole relationship with various woman. One was a very close friend.
It gets better. But leaving will always be the best choice. I’m not sure if safe or financially able to yet. But even more that’s the goal and start working on it. Time really does heal everything. Right now you just focus on making the best decisions you can each day and moving in the right direction. I promise it will get better.
You have a kid – that is the sweetest thing, OP 🙂
I am very sorry that you are going through such a difficult time! I wish you strength! Try to talk to close friends if you feel comfortable or a therapist. Everything will be fine, this low state that you feel now is temporary. Try to do what makes you happy, a few things per day, maybe a small ones, and I hope that you feel that your life is if full, and you will fine joy in your kid and things which make you happy
My dear – that’s so much on your shoulders and I’m so sorry that you’re in this spot. Are you safe, and can you stay in NC? What will you do?
My first husband was unfaithful many times before I gave up, and we separated when I was about 30 with two small children. It was extremely lonely and difficult, but one day at a time I made it through. All I can say is, your love for your child can be a huge source of strength. Shore up your basics – work, childcare, housing, food, transportation. If you can’t afford daycare, maybe you can take care of another child or two to make ends meet for now.
Right now, cherish and be present with your sweet baby, and give yourself a little time and rest…then make a plan. You can do this, and even if your life has come apart some, you can build a new one that suits you better. ❤️
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I wish you had more support from your family right now. Are there any friends you can lean on?
I hope you have someone, but I also know how isolating motherhood can be sometimes, especially the first couple of years.
Wishing you strength and support as you figure out next steps.
What part of NC? If near Greensboro/Winston Salem area op please pm me.
I’m sorry that your mom is so unsupportive, it makes sense that you feel lonely with no family who can properly support you right now. Sending you love from an internet stranger. Also you might consider posting in r/momforaminute
100% normal to feel the way you’re feeling. That is total junk and I’m so sorry your husband turned out to be absolute shite. YOU DESERVE BETTER and so does your kid.
You know our mothers contribute to misogyny right? ‘Oh that’s what men are like’, ‘oh that’s a woman’s burden’, ‘you need to make a man satisfied’ blah blah blah blah.
Just because it comes in a female package doesn’t make it not a misogynist. There are men that are far better feminists than women.
From a woman who’s mother never loved her and went through 20 years of figuring that out – this burns.
If you feel alone, terrified and hopeless right now, just put one step in front of the other. Be NC with your mom as long as you need and trust only your own morality here.
oh girl. i am not over 30 so i won’t give advice but this shit sucks. it is so hard to do this world alone. you and your kid both deserve peace, i hope you find it
My mom was only 30 when my dad left, he left us with nothing but debts, my little brother was only 1 year old back then, and I was still in junior high, my mom was a housewife all her life, she didn’t have any experience to do work or else. With no money and only debts, we almost die, literally.
It was really hard for both of us, I found a crumpled paper which turned out to be her suicide note, it was really crushed me, I can’t imagine the pain she had. I knew she’s confused and didn’t know what to do. But somehow we found a way, I can still continue my education, even I got my degree, and soon enough my little brother too, my mom already paid my brother’s tuition fee for his college in advance, all full cash in advance although it hasn’t started yet, something that might sound really impossible before.
We used to moved from one rented house to another one, a very small and awful ones, we didn’t eat nothing but rice and salt for almost a month, and the cycle continued for months. But we’re doing much better now, we have our own house, no mortgage, we could eat everything we would now, and the journey wasn’t easy at all, it was hard, rough and tough.
But I know for sure that you could do it, just believe in yourself (and God if you have faith). My mom and I have nothing but faith and that’s what makes us stay still through our journey. Take a deep breathe and think clearly before you make any decision, you’ll find a way, you just have to trust yourself.
If you can overcome the grief of your own father dying, getting over your cheating, selfish husband is a feat you can handle. You deserve so much more. Mine cheated knowing my father, and dogs died. They always cheat when we’re grieving. Actually, mine never stopped cheating.
I’m sorry. Just want you to know you’re not alone.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds incredibly lonely and horrible and I just wanna give you a hug ❤️
Sending lots of love to you and your baby ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am terribly sorry. I think this time you need to remind yourself that you are a strong woman. There must be communities that help a mom’s in these situations like local libraries? Do you think you can get advice from mom?
Get a lawyer! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this ❤️
I’m 32 and my husband just sort of exploded our marriage via wild ultimatums/mental health/quitting his job/being emotionally abusive. I have a soon to be 2 year old. I feel like my life is falling apart too… want to start a commune? Hugs. This shit is so hard. Did you also want another child? That’s what I am finding really really hard right now.
I am sorry OP. Sending you a virtual hug.