2 she really needs help she was probably at 7 when I met her but she just slowly kept getting worst as time went on. I feel bad for her but she was dragging me down with her and I tried so hard to help but if she won’t put in the work it’s not worth it. Plus she turned it into an on and off relationship and now it’s time to say goodbye to her.
Got “voluntarily” committed 3 times in our one year long relationship, tried multiple times to get me to have sex with her despite never taking her birth control. Cheated on me twice with no less than 3 people each time and sent me videos of it. She would also just randomly punch , kick and choke me for fun I guess. Last I heard is she got pregnant and moved to Idaho after marrying a guy she only knew for about two month’s.
2, she had unexplained “fibromyalgia” that basically told her to go back to New York and fuck her ex boyfriend. Another night on a dark road she started hitting me while I was driving home because she was in “pain”. When I asked where so I could help, she started whaling on me. I pulled over in the canyons and started walking. I could’ve rolled into canyon and killed us both that night but instead I left her ass for good.
Really gotta set the scale here. Is 10 normal or is it perfect mental health that of which few people achieve. So assuming the latter with 5 being average, I’d put her at a 3. She was mostly stable but due to a rough childhood and other traumas she had a lot of issues, and insecurity.
I called First Wife “satan” to her face. And she always answered promptly. On a scale with 10 being in perfectly good mental health, and 0 being a looney; she was -1. She always immediately contradicted me without having a differing opinion or plan…just constant and pointless contradiction towards the end.
Stalked me for 10 years after divorcing her and annulling the marriage…and I got remarried… and I had Kids!
Last longer term one would be a TWO. Would be 0 but I saw how bad it really was when I was with 0 a few prior to her. 2 had severe CPTSD from all sorts of abuse from past partners and we got through a lot of it. However, I saw lots of triggers just from having female friends (who really welcomed her and gave her gifts or invites out for girls nights) yet she shut down and ran from it all a few times. I just let her go after a few. I didnt want a life of just isolation with her
The 0 was my long term one who after a few years and kids had severe bipolar kick in after the kids and skipping meds. Was normal prior to this, but went into pure psychosis and locked up on a psych ward for 10 months, then relapsed 4 times in the last 3 years each stint going back into lockup for 6-8 months. Came out a different person after the first one, no longer kind and sweet, but extremely racist, homophobic, entitled and hard religious. Angry at everyone and the world
Last short term one would be a 9. Really great but kids being the dealbreaker for her
Most recent? Probably like an 8 or 9. Well, that’s the energy she gave off anyways. But every now and again I saw a few cracks so I’m not entirely sure? Tbh I hope she’s as mentally healthy as she shows, she was honestly really great.
I was gonna say 0 but on the scale of the other replies I’ll bump her up to a 4. She was hyper sexual, manic depressive, missing most coping skills. She would have these breakdowns about not being far enough in life because she had dropped out of college and moved back in with her dad. She would literally grab handfuls of her own hair at the root and cry streams of tears with her eyes wide open. Some of the craziest shit I’ve ever seen
4 (with 10 being Dolly Parton).
She, at 5′ 3″ a buck five,, pushed me at 6′, a buck 80, down a flight of stairs, launched herself on to me from half way down, flayled away on me with fists of fury, called me names, and still expected me to take her out for dinner.
I was breaking up because I found out she was seeing a guy in her apartment building and didn’t want the risks.
I loved her energy but saw her put her fist through a wall and that scared me a bit
It started with 1. On meds, suicidal, distant, no goals and plans, conflict with all family members, etc. After 6 years of being together, her mental state got close to 8. I made sure she gets off meds, plan each day, have fun, exercise, travel, quality time with family and friends, made plans, got a job, helped her with finances to a point that she could also help me and bring something to the table, committing to plans and job, and then she dumped me! 😮💨
Was put on an involuntary 72 hour mental health hold 8 times in 2.5 years. Never quite enough for them to keep her, but she put a chefs knife through a door a few times trying to kill me and left me with several scars on top of the incidents resulting in the 72 hour holds.
She tried to take her life one time so I would say probably 3 (assuming 0 is bad and 10 is good) if I had to guess why, it’s because her mom and dad weren’t supportive in her eyes.
That seemed like her most successful and happy period in our relationship so it really shocked me. She was in the hospital for a while and that was rough.
it depends on how you define mental health I guess. I mean she knew she wasn’t Joan of Arc or whatever, so she wasn’t completely delusional but she couldn’t handle stress and she was often inappropriately angry and she was extremely selfish and also lazy
So maybe a 2? or if you want 1 to be people who are vegetables or something then maybe a 4?
She’s still making new social media accounts trying to get to me to tell me why she deserves my time and energy and to berate me for whatever new issue she has with me
No exes. Current girlfriend I’d say 8/10. She suffers from CPTSD, caused by her exes. She has lived through several horrific experiences, each of which alone would be enough for most people to end their lives (and I was paraphrasing therapists there).
She also has depression and anxiety about our current displeasing life situation.
Other than those she’s calm, optimistic, and easygoing. Her mental resilience is miraculous, and I envy it. There’s no craziness or whatever it feels like this post is mainly asking about.
Current wife. 8 with meds, has some things from her past ptsd wise she has to work through.
Without meds… I have to highly consider hiding knives,
Ex gf.
Would eat McDonald’s in front of me while I was losing weight and instead of joining me she tried sabotage.
Was a massive liar and manipulator. Was lazy. And outright wouldn’t shower.
I basically had to bribe her with sex to get her to shower.
She has antidepressants, but also medicates heavily with Pot and Alcohol. Constant fights about what were misunderstandings. Skipped my birthday because she busy, which is fine. I don’t think she knows what she wants, it’s quite chaotic and unstable.
The good moments are what keeps me from dropping her to a 1 or 2.
Comments
2 she really needs help she was probably at 7 when I met her but she just slowly kept getting worst as time went on. I feel bad for her but she was dragging me down with her and I tried so hard to help but if she won’t put in the work it’s not worth it. Plus she turned it into an on and off relationship and now it’s time to say goodbye to her.
I wont rate, she was just mythomaniac, like for real a psychological pattern that I couldn’t live with
2, she had unexplained “fibromyalgia” that basically told her to go back to New York and fuck her ex boyfriend. Another night on a dark road she started hitting me while I was driving home because she was in “pain”. When I asked where so I could help, she started whaling on me. I pulled over in the canyons and started walking. I could’ve rolled into canyon and killed us both that night but instead I left her ass for good.
Really gotta set the scale here. Is 10 normal or is it perfect mental health that of which few people achieve. So assuming the latter with 5 being average, I’d put her at a 3. She was mostly stable but due to a rough childhood and other traumas she had a lot of issues, and insecurity.
My most recent ex was a dude and he’s off in Europe living his best life now. Seems happy and I’m glad for him.
If you specifically mean female exes, my last exGF is now married and recently had a kid so I’m guessing tired and stressed but probably happy?
Current wife 10. Easy going and has put up with my ass for 18 years.
Last girlfriend (19 years ago). 2. Chronic liar. Lied about things that are easily fact checked, constantly.
0 she died as a result of complications from her mental health meds. She had meds because she was have repeated episodes of psychosis.
I called First Wife “satan” to her face. And she always answered promptly. On a scale with 10 being in perfectly good mental health, and 0 being a looney; she was -1. She always immediately contradicted me without having a differing opinion or plan…just constant and pointless contradiction towards the end.
Stalked me for 10 years after divorcing her and annulling the marriage…and I got remarried… and I had Kids!
Acted like it was normal so for her it was 9-10 but from the outside looking in… a gracious 5
Last longer term one would be a TWO. Would be 0 but I saw how bad it really was when I was with 0 a few prior to her. 2 had severe CPTSD from all sorts of abuse from past partners and we got through a lot of it. However, I saw lots of triggers just from having female friends (who really welcomed her and gave her gifts or invites out for girls nights) yet she shut down and ran from it all a few times. I just let her go after a few. I didnt want a life of just isolation with her
The 0 was my long term one who after a few years and kids had severe bipolar kick in after the kids and skipping meds. Was normal prior to this, but went into pure psychosis and locked up on a psych ward for 10 months, then relapsed 4 times in the last 3 years each stint going back into lockup for 6-8 months. Came out a different person after the first one, no longer kind and sweet, but extremely racist, homophobic, entitled and hard religious. Angry at everyone and the world
Last short term one would be a 9. Really great but kids being the dealbreaker for her
Most recent? Probably like an 8 or 9. Well, that’s the energy she gave off anyways. But every now and again I saw a few cracks so I’m not entirely sure? Tbh I hope she’s as mentally healthy as she shows, she was honestly really great.
My last real ex was psychopathic or something
I was gonna say 0 but on the scale of the other replies I’ll bump her up to a 4. She was hyper sexual, manic depressive, missing most coping skills. She would have these breakdowns about not being far enough in life because she had dropped out of college and moved back in with her dad. She would literally grab handfuls of her own hair at the root and cry streams of tears with her eyes wide open. Some of the craziest shit I’ve ever seen
4 (with 10 being Dolly Parton).
She, at 5′ 3″ a buck five,, pushed me at 6′, a buck 80, down a flight of stairs, launched herself on to me from half way down, flayled away on me with fists of fury, called me names, and still expected me to take her out for dinner.
I was breaking up because I found out she was seeing a guy in her apartment building and didn’t want the risks.
I loved her energy but saw her put her fist through a wall and that scared me a bit
It started with 1. On meds, suicidal, distant, no goals and plans, conflict with all family members, etc. After 6 years of being together, her mental state got close to 8. I made sure she gets off meds, plan each day, have fun, exercise, travel, quality time with family and friends, made plans, got a job, helped her with finances to a point that she could also help me and bring something to the table, committing to plans and job, and then she dumped me! 😮💨
4/10. Self-esteem issues from childhood, tried to help but couldn’t. Multiple stretches of her ghosting, thinking that she was helping me by doing so.
She held it together well, but you could see the cracks where the pain hadn’t healed.
-100 to 100. Her mood swings were next level after marriage. Like she completely flipped the switch..
Wouldn’t recommend getting married.
She tried to take her life one time so I would say probably 3 (assuming 0 is bad and 10 is good) if I had to guess why, it’s because her mom and dad weren’t supportive in her eyes.
That seemed like her most successful and happy period in our relationship so it really shocked me. She was in the hospital for a while and that was rough.
it depends on how you define mental health I guess. I mean she knew she wasn’t Joan of Arc or whatever, so she wasn’t completely delusional but she couldn’t handle stress and she was often inappropriately angry and she was extremely selfish and also lazy
So maybe a 2? or if you want 1 to be people who are vegetables or something then maybe a 4?
No exes. Current girlfriend I’d say 8/10. She suffers from CPTSD, caused by her exes. She has lived through several horrific experiences, each of which alone would be enough for most people to end their lives (and I was paraphrasing therapists there).
She also has depression and anxiety about our current displeasing life situation.
Other than those she’s calm, optimistic, and easygoing. Her mental resilience is miraculous, and I envy it. There’s no craziness or whatever it feels like this post is mainly asking about.
Current wife. 8 with meds, has some things from her past ptsd wise she has to work through.
Without meds… I have to highly consider hiding knives,
Ex gf.
Would eat McDonald’s in front of me while I was losing weight and instead of joining me she tried sabotage.
Was a massive liar and manipulator. Was lazy. And outright wouldn’t shower.
I basically had to bribe her with sex to get her to shower.
She was a 4/10 on mental health (I’m being nice)
She has antidepressants, but also medicates heavily with Pot and Alcohol. Constant fights about what were misunderstandings. Skipped my birthday because she busy, which is fine. I don’t think she knows what she wants, it’s quite chaotic and unstable.
The good moments are what keeps me from dropping her to a 1 or 2.
2-3, but at least she got diagnosed.