I had an abortion and can’t tell anyone.

r/

I’m not here to get any advice, I just need to say it somewhere and finally get it off my chest cause it’s been suffocating these last few days, so it’s strangers on Reddit.

I’m 19, in college and still live with my parents. It wasn’t planned, the pregnancy nor the abortion. I was on the pill and we used protection , but accidents happen. I found out I was pregnant after I missed my period, I had a gut feeling and decided to take a test. I took it when my parents were at work and just stared at the two lines with a numbness in my chest, I felt nothing, absolutely nothing.

The father was my classmate who I was just situationship with, i live in a some what conservative country so I couldn’t even tell my parents or my best friend.

Luckily getting an abortion in my country as I single female over the age of 18 is easy so I just googled an abortion clinic near me with good reviews and got an appointment.

I lied to my parents and skipped college that day to go there, I cried the entire time I was there but thankfully the staff were kind and understanding. When I stepped out I felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I don’t regret it, I knew it was the right choice for me but that doesn’t make it easy.

Comments

  1. tb0904 Avatar

    You made a safe and logical choice. Be sure to talk to your doctor about the failed birth control and see if they have other options for you. Good luck!

  2. Drewcifer88 Avatar

    I’m a guy, but a girl I was with at one point got pregnant. And she got an abortion. It was definitely tough, not a fun or easy experience. And I’m sorry you had to go through that.
    Don’t sweat it too much though. If you feel you made the correct decision given your circumstances, then you did. You also don’t have to tell anyone. It’s your business. And you can do with it as you so please. Hope you’re doing good!

  3. [deleted] Avatar

    Your parents must be proud

  4. Rude-Sea-3607 Avatar

    Hopefully, it is a lesson learnt. Abortion was the best call in this case. But please exercise self sex for hereon. Pill should be doubled up with physical contraception. I think that’s crucial as you don’t want to get STDs at such an age and basically ruin your life. Further, repeated abortions can have both physical and psychological impact for a woman. So stay safe!

  5. whaaateben Avatar

    sending you hugs, glad you can share it to us if not anyone else <3

  6. ScrumpetSays Avatar

    I know you said you don’t want advice, but maybe you could write yourself a letter (or email) about why this was the right choice for you (although this reddit post probably works if it’s not a throw away).

    This was what was recommended to my sister. When she got pregnant later and it brought up a lot of emotions she could refer to her own experiences and it reassured her she made the right choice back then. Hugs to you

  7. EverybodyPanic81 Avatar

    You made the best choice for you at the time. Nothing wrong with that. Abortion is healthcare. Be gentle with yourself 💜

  8. SecretAssumption5174 Avatar

    It’s your life, you get to make the decisions that best suit you. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it. Do look into other birth control options, it can be tricky.
    Tomorrow is a new day be you, you’ve got this

  9. Sensitive_Peak- Avatar

    Much power to you, if you need a friend to talk to I’m here.

  10. Plant_Mama_ Avatar

    I also had an abortion at 19, after I was assaulted by my ex. I went through it alone. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here and understand ❤️

  11. Cute_but_notOkay Avatar

    I’ve been in a similar situation where we used all the protection, still got pregnant and for personal medical reasons, we chose to abort.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. You made the right choice for you and that’s always okay and the right thing to do. You may not think about it, but please take the time to grieve. I don’t want children but that was still a part of me that is gone now and even though it was still the best choice for me, there was a time it kinda took over (because I didn’t realize I needed to grieve that.) some people might not agree and that’s also okay. You may not need to grieve or anything. Just wanted to share my side in case it helps.

    All the love and healing to you. ❤️‍🩹

  12. Electronic-Set-1722 Avatar

    You CAN talk to someone…….Counselling services attached to the clinic that assisted with the procedure

    They’re usually professional AND won’t judge, plus it can mentally be more reassuring for you since you know that they already know what’s happened and you won’t be divulging info to anyone new

    You 100% will be fine 🙏🏾

  13. Beth_The_Alien_GF Avatar

    I am glad you made the best decision for yourself. It is hard, but absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

  14. Affectionate_Act8073 Avatar

    Anonymous places should be a safe place! I support you, but am dad.you had to.go there alone! It can.be tough and very emotionally draining! I have been in your shoes.and was married. My abortion was hard.on me physically, but afterwards there was great emotional and mental relief! My mother who was against abortions.went with me and was supportive because she knew what the situation was at my house.

    DO NOT LET ANYONE’S negative statements or judgements attack you! You did what.was best for yourself and the future.of.your zygote! Be strong, Just remember that the only “birth control” that is 100% effective is abstinence. ALL other forms of birth control have a success rate and a failure rate. Two forms are better and 3 are better than 2. But even when multiple options are use… they are not 100% but the possibilities of pregnancy diminish greatly!

    Be at peace! Do whatever you need to do to comfort yourself and take care of yourself!

    Sending you a great big hug!

  15. scented_cand1e Avatar

    I’m so proud of you. you made such a hard decision and made it through ~ sending lots of love 💕

  16. DebbDebbDebb Avatar

    You said you lied to your parents and that was absolutely ok. OK because you understand the implications not to. Lies which don’t harm them was mature. You obviously thought through your decision.
    I mention this because it was part of your story.
    Life is full of twists and turns . Life throws curveball. You did not hide or crumple. You looked after yourself.
    All the very best and hugs to you.

  17. void_ofThepieces96 Avatar

    If you honestly think u did the right thing taking away someone’s life hey it’s all up to you right the woman gets to decide whatever she wants she s god right she decides who lives who dies who’s in they life who’s not haha it’s just bow down 🙇

  18. Fantastic-Deal-5643 Avatar

    I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. I’ve been through the same thing but it was long before all this nonsense started in the states. Please take care of yourself! My thoughts are with you and I’m sending you lots of hugs!

  19. HistorianJolly8683 Avatar

    You seem mature beyond your years. Hugs

  20. newintheNW Avatar

    Thank you for telling us. I’m so sorry that you don’t have anyone in your life that you can talk to about something like this.

    I’m glad you were able to make the choices you wanted to make. It doesn’t make it an easy choice, even if it was the right choice.

    Best of luck to you in your life.

  21. Character-Tennis-241 Avatar

    I totally understand. I am in my 60s. I had a secret abortion at 16. I don’t regret it. I’m grateful I was able to get it. My parents were extremely conservative. It would have broke them.

  22. myhangyinhaogin Avatar

    you are very strong and brave

  23. Valuable-Aioli1539 Avatar

    I’m sorry about your situation girl

  24. yrrrrrrrr Avatar

    You can people, it’s oajy

  25. SlutForLexaKomTrikru Avatar

    I’m proud of you for making the right choice for yourself! Abortion is health care! I live in a state where it’s banned. Super dystopian tbh.

  26. ConvivialKat Avatar

    I also had an abortion at your age. I also didn’t tell anyone. There! Now we have told each other and someone else knows!

    The stress and hormones caused some mental chaos, but they were temporary.

    Like you, I made a sound, smart decision, and I have never regretted it.

    You’re going to be just fine. Just roll with that hormonal rollercoaster, and you will soon stabilize.

  27. jupitermoonflow Avatar

    I feel you. I had one too, thankfully I have my boyfriend but I will never tell my family, who I’m close with. I know their opinions on abortion and I don’t want to deal with that. I’m sorry you had to do it alone.

  28. Damage-Classic Avatar

    You can tell people about it if they are safe. The people who really love and care about you will understand.

  29. youcantseemebear Avatar

    You made a hard choice. But do you know what would have been harder? Raising a child alone in an unstable environment. It would have been harder for them. And harder for you

  30. TopAd7154 Avatar

    You did the right thing. And you should not beat yourself up for it. 
    Please tell your doctor thst the birth control failed. 
    I’m so sorry you were in that position. 
    Sending you a huge Mama bear hug xxxxx

  31. ThrowRA_Sodi Avatar

    That was probably the best choice