I’m 5’0 and 155 pounds. I’m working on my weight loss okay so please save the lecture. I gained weight due to child birth, medication, hormone fluctuation, age, surgery, etc.
My husband and I got in an argument about a completely separate issue and he just went straight to insults when he had nothing else to say about the actual problem at hand. He name called me and said the worst things anyone has ever said to me.
He said he wished he didn’t have a fat wife. He said he’s embarrassed to be seen with me. He said I use to be proud to be seen with me in public and now he walks in front of me or behind me when we’re out in public because it’ll look like I’m HIS mom because I look old and unattractive despite the fact we’re around the same age, but my weight just makes me look older and more unflattering. He also said that if I wasn’t fat he wouldn’t have to cheat on me so much.
It’s just so hard. He cheats on me in front of my face now. He doesn’t even try to hide it anymore. I saw a woman leave our house on Friday. I wanted to assault her but I know my anger isn’t fully directed at her, it’s at my husband. I don’t really understand why women are even interested in my husband, he’s married and has kids and these women know this. It’s just crazy because no woman ever hit on my husband before he was married and had kids but now in his 30s and married he’s a magnet with these women, it’s absolutely infuriating. I saw his iPad which is synced to his phone and he’s just been passing around his D photos like community D.
He makes me hate myself so much. I hate my life. I’ve just been staying with my husband for financial reasons, out of survival. I’ve seen a lawyer and the best option for me right now is to stay and get back on my feet until I’m able to live independently.
Comments
This is difficult to read. Sounds like he’s a real tool. Im sorry you’re dealing with this
Easy solution. Lose 200 lbs of useless whore man. Divorce this guy cause lemme tell you, I’m 5 feet tall myself and 155 is NOT that bad especially after a baby. Him cheating isn’t your fault, you married a slutty man who has no respect or love for you. Yk what’s funny? He openly cheats. Open evidence for court. Go get your bag, full custody and this ugly ass man with a used up dick
I sincerely hope that you are not having unprotected sex with him. If you can’t afford to leave, make a plan, start working on your career. Even if it takes a while. No one deserves to be treated the way he’s treating you.
Can I ask why you are still with him?
Go listen to the sprinkle sprinkle lady on YouTube (shera seven) and just level up and find yourself a better man, lol. 5’0 and 155 lb is nothing crazy. Forget about your husband and pour into yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, and whenever you have time, do your makeup, dress nicely, and pamper yourself (at home self care routine, etc). When you go out to do errands, look nice (dress up) and don’t tell him where you are going. Start laying your ducks in a row, and don’t tell him your exit plan (but definitely start making one).
Op I hope you can get out, you dont deserve this. My husband once called me a fat lazy bertha (not my name) because I slept in until 9:30am with our 3mo old baby. He was pissed I didn’t get up yet.
Detach from him while you get yourself together. Detach from the emotions he makes you feel when he says hurtful things. Maybe individual therapy can help.
Work on yourself, get rid of all that dead weight, your husband. Probably need to lose that weight first before losing the physical weight.
OK, Darling… first off… don’t call yourself fat. Those are HIS words, not yours. Don’t let him live rent free in your brain. You need to change your inner dialogue and start to be proud of your body again. HE IS TEARING YOU DOWN TO KEEP YOU AROUND. Why do I say that? Because if he wasn’t try to keep you around, he’d already be out the door.
I’m guessing he’s probably not that attractive. Instead, he’s probably using dating apps to hook up with other women. Dating apps seem to be a super easy way for people nowadays (both single and married) to hook up without any emotion needed or involved. I’m a flight attendant and I fly with a lot of other flight attendants who talk to me about how they fly into these random cities, open up their dating apps, and… well… as one flight attendant put it… “He just orders up some random boy to his room and then sends him on his way 15 minutes later.” I was like WTF?! (Now you get to be traumatized too… you’re welcome.). ;-P.
He’s going to keep hooking up til he finds the one he thinks fits his new idea of “the perfect woman”… meaning I think he will likely abandon you soon and all these fights are so he won’t get blamed for it by family and friends. When the Sh*t hits the fan, he’s going to point at you and say “look how crazy and fat and mean and psycho she is” and everyone you thought was on your side will turn on you.
Get yours. Start stashing stuff away like you’re a squirrel if you can’t get out. Start looking for the exit door now because if he’s out first… he’s gonna leave you sitting there with the bill (aka the mortgage, the car payment, the insurance, the kids’ bills, etc.). Your marriage is over. Remember these three things: Child Support, Alimony and full custody… while you can. If he gets joint custody, he can cut you off financially in a BIG way… and he will likely go for joint custody just to spite you… to make sure he can pay as little as possible.
MOVE IN THE SHADOWS. Get ready. The war is coming.
Updateme
Gather up the proof of his whore ass cheating, then get a nice ol’ divorce and take all his shit in court. Get a good lawyer so you can get a fat childsupport order as well.
First of all stop calling him your husband. That’s dead.
Now, sis, forget him, consider him a roommate. Focus on yourself, get yourself together.
Don’t even let the shit phase you anymore, literally give him absolutely nothing. Get your plans in order, and start fucking other men too.
Also stop fucking making excuses. He is a piece of shit, he doesn’t deserve anything you have.
I’m sorry but there’s no amount of money worth this. You need to value yourself, pick up your life and do the hard shit! Would you want this for your kids? Because that’s what you’re modeling for them. I’m sending all the good vibes your way, with all my heart I hope you get tf outta there and leave this dirtbag to get diseases from all his hoes.
If this was my husband he could pick up his belongings in the front yard along with his suitcase.
Talk to a different lawyer. Cause that one ain’t it. With all the cheating going on. You should be able to railroad him.
Men who insult you or hit you during an argument are doing that bc the woman is right for arguing with him and him not being able to win the argument.
He is abusive and this is an example you do not want for your children (and wgatever their ahes are… they know, they sence things better than adults).
I hope you get out soon.
The sooner the better…
Updateme
That weight is not even bad at all. He’s an asshole I’m sorry
Lawyer up and throw his ass out. He won’t have to worry about being seen with you ever again and you will begin to heal and the glow up will happen naturally. Also 150 lbs at 5” isn’t bad at all. I bet you look like a baddie! Your husband is the problem, not you.
Girl he’s cheating leave him. You can get down to a healthy weight and find a better man at the same time. You also don’t want to risk catching whatever his side pieces have.
Geeze, why are you still with him?
I’m gonna tell you something someone told me. It’s time to stop being hurt and start being angry. You have done so much and given so much to this POS. Stop giving him your peace. Don’t do a damn thing for him, take care of you and your kids, you see one of his hookups, tell her she might want to get tested, he throws it in your face you don’t give him sex? tell him ew, why would I want that? everyone’s used it. Do you have access to the household finances? every time you go shopping, buy a couple things. nothing huge, $30-40, the next day, return it and stash away the cash. build up a nest egg. If he asks why household spending has gone up, well hell, there’s a ton of new tariffs that just kicked in. Document every time you see a woman at your house, take a picture if you can, this shows the court that he’s creating an unstable environment around his kids. judges don’t like revolving doors. Don’t get hurt darlin, get angry and get even.
Use your anger towards him to get your dream body and find a younger, hotter rebound.
Why do you stay you need to get your self esteem up and leave the loser
This guy will be so surprised when you have a new husband and much happier relationship than he’ll ever have.
There’s no redeeming this. What an asshole.
Can you go somewhere like your parents’? I’d get a second opinion with a different lawyer, a cheating and emotionally abusive spouse with a stay at home wife should get you something unless you haven’t been married long.
Either way, you’re too good to be tied to this
Terrible rage bait
Hey so you have the body of a mother which he should be grateful to and you shouldnt be so hard on yourself about. Your post is all about him well I think you should get back to you.
What is something you can do to feel good about yourself? I think every time he insults you that you should remind yourself of something you love about yourself. Dont let that goofy man tear your confidence down – he isnt exactly a prize even if he is physically fit cause he’s a bad partner. You have value outside of his or anyone else’s opinion. You just have to love yourself more because you are worth it so duck him and treat yourself so a spa day or trip to the salon on his dime.
I bet if you opened the marriage and started entertaining attention from men his tune would change. Ofc he be like “who would want you” but he and you will see there’s actual men out there who want you and will treat you right.
Good luck OP.
It just kept getting worse… Pls pack a bag and take your kids anywhere but there.
It doesn’t matter if you were actually fat, that’s not acceptable behavior. I hope you know this.
Yeah, sorry, my wife is 5’3 and 200lbs. I would cheat on her… just about between “never” and “fuck that noise.”
I’m glad you’re getting rid of him. Good luck and I hope he catches something that burns when he pees
He’s a narc and a POS. No one deserves to be talking to like that. If someone has to be ashamed of being seen with someone, it’s you. I am sure he’s ugly inside and out.
Divorce and move on but that’s hard I know :-/
You aren’t working correct?
I bet he love bombs you in a few days—keeping you off kilter and on pins and needles, with a low self esteem. Insecure women tend not to leave.
If your lawyer told you to stay….find a new one. Find one that makes you a solid exit strategy. And start gathering the evidence your lawyer needs to put that plan in motion.
This is a very poorly executed ragebait post.
One of the best things for weight loss is the absence of some (expletive) treating you like dirt, stressing you out and doing things that lead to you feeling bad about yourself. Cortisol, the stress hormone, is a weight gainer. As other commenters have mentioned, you can lose a ton of weight instantly by dumping your hopefully soon-to-be ex-husband as soon as you can. You’ll be amazed at how much energy you’ll have to exercise, and just plain enjoy yourself when you aren’t being crapped on.
I’m the same weight as you and I don’t think it’s fat. Fuck that loser
Obesity: BMI 30 and above. his wording is not right
This is emotional abuse, you should not be tolerating this. Truthfully I’m not sure why you’re still in this marriage. I know it easier said than done but leaving would be the kindest thing to do for yourself. Either way you do not deserve to be treated this badly.
Talk to a different lawyer, for Christ sake. You’ll never get on your feet if you get beaten down day after day. File for Divorce you’ll get child support and possibly alimony. You’ll have a division of assets if you own your home. Do not stay in this misery Jesus Christ I have never had a client come to me for a divorce and say “I wish I had waited.”
Do you want your kids to continue to see you treated like shit on the bottom of a shoe?
Divorce him.
Leave him he is abusive. Fall in love with yourself, do things you love to do, go to therapy, go back to school, travel, write a book, make new friends, whatever goal you want to achieve do it, and show your kids that loving themselves is a priority. Stop looking for his validation, he will never give it to you. Start putting yourself first. He says these things to destroy your self-esteem so he can continue to mistreat you.
I’m 5′ and 150 pounds atm. You’re 155 and after CHILDBIRTH and all those meds…. And he fucking insults you like that?! WTF. Tell him it’s also his fault you gained that baby weight because he played a part in making you pregnant! AND HE’S CHEATING ON YOU TOO!! WTF.
My partner and I know we’re fat, but we have never fkin called each other fat like that. We started going to the gym together recently too…
Holy shit, the disrespect of that trash of a man. Wtf is wrong with some people!! My condolences. You deserve better.
You can lose like 200 pounds rn and divorce his ass. Please plan your escape rn because you DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT.
This reads like rage bait fiction, sorry.
Leave. Why would these women respect you, when you don’t respect yourself? It’s a one sided open relationship at this point. While you didn’t consent to it, you staying and just arguing, isn’t doing anything. That’s what he’ll continue to do. If you lost weight I doubt he’d stop. So just lose him, beer belly and all.
You have kids, imagine your daughter having a man speak to her that way. Also your sons, they’ll learn this and do the same thinking it’s fine my mom dealt with it. It’s hurts to read your post so I sympathize with you. This is verbal abuse and I hope you can get yourself out of this.
>He also said that if I wasn’t fat he wouldn’t have to cheat on me so much.
IIRC, you said your husband is fatter than you. Is he filthy rich? Does he have a monster dong?
Second, he’s now full-on abusing you.
I would not want to live with someone who spoke to me that way.
You’re not the problem. No one who loves you would you treat you like that. The problem is that he doesn’t respect you. Not as a person, not as a wife, not as the mother of his children. Honestly he probably didn’t even respect you before you gained weight, he probably just wasn’t a mean bastard back then bc you served a purpose for him. You were a trophy. Even if you were 500 lbs you wouldn’t deserve this kind of treatment. He doesn’t have to be attracted to you, but he doesn’t have to be completely awful in the way he treats you either. Even if you were 100 lbs and looked like a Victoria’s Secret model, the fact is that he doesn’t respect you as a person. It’s obvious he’s a very superficial person. Don’t let him do this to you, he hates you enough for the both of you. And you don’t deserve it. You’re not the problem here.
I hope that you can get out before your kids are old enough to pick up on this. This kind of thing can affect the way they value themselves and others too.
If he isnt a fitness model level guy, tell him to look himself in the mirror before judging others or better yet to not judge at all!
He called you fat at 5 feet tall and 155lb. And you carried his kid. Wow. Just wow.
You’re not fat, most definitely overweight for the height but not fat.
Every one carries weight differently but I promise you that you are not fat.
I hope you can get your financial issues situated soon and drop 200lb of weight. You deserve better.
Don’t even focus on him anymore. Just focus on yourself and getting out this marriage.
How about get a job and move out , divorce him, gen primary custody of kids and the house.
How, well take him to court after you put together all the cheating proof, take notes screen shots, text messages, make recordings, put a hidden camera.
Sue him for all his money, make him pay child support and the house. As you were the spouse and he cheated with multiple parties, let him see if anyone wants him after he no longer has a home and money. Good luck , oh and one thing, bodies change, an ugly personality never. You don’t deserve to feel like this just because you ruined your body giving birth to children
Tell him he has a diseased cock and not to get it anywhere near you, that you’d rather go without than touch it.
Separate rooms, separate lives, same house. Document it somewhere, start the countdown for divorce.
How dare he criticise you?!
Keep working at being the best YOU you can be, then leave his ass behind.
FYI, women only want him because he’s not available, and they don’t have to worry about him falling in love with them or anything. He’s not special.
I’m about your height and gained weight from all the same reasons. I fluctuate up to 25-30 lbs heavier than you where I was max 120 before kids.
My husband only ever says my body drives him crazy and loves me in all my shapes. I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying this to convince you that someone else will treat you the same way.
I hope the next post will be about how you divorced and left your ex-husband in his socks. That’s psychological abuse. Find a good lawyer.