I was involved with someone who was going through a separation with their spouse. Their spouse initiated a divorce and they decided they wanted to see other people, hence them and I.
Recently their spouse said they changed their mind and want to try again. I’m supportive and happy they’re going to try again on their marriage, especially for the sake of their child. But emotionally and mentally, I’m still crushed. We’re still friends and have limited contact, and I support them 100%, but i still hurt tremendously. They’re a wonderful person, and I love them so much.
I wish nothing but the best for them, even if I’m hurting. I wish them happiness in their marriage.
Comments
Such is life. Hopefully those sacrifices will pay off. It depends on if the relationship was salvageable, else the child will see fighting all the time. I stay with mine because of a dependable person. In illness and in health, a loyal person is worth a lot to me. Hey look on the bright side, you can now look for someone without all that baggage, someone just for you
That’s why many people chose not to date anyone who’s going through separation or divorce or is very recently separated or divorced. The risk is just too high.
Do what you can to prioritize yourself and heal. Set boundaries with hoch much you engage with this person, what you hear about their relationship, etc. If it’s better for you, cut contact. Their problems are not yours. Flrcus on yourself.
Lesson learned: stay out of relationships with people who are still in a relationship with someone else, even if “they’re just waiting on paperwork. “
It’s not a good idea to date someone going through a separation. Best case scenario, you end up being the rebound person. Worst case scenario, you’re just used to fill time or make the spouse jealous.
Yeah don’t go for people who are merely “separated”. Most of the time they end up patching things up with their spouse. especially when they have a child together as well, I mean…. It sounds like better judgment was ignored here.
You need to have zero contact. I think that if you truly care about this person, you need to let that person sort things out with their spouse and not interfere in their marriage. You might have the best of intentions, but a real relationship cannot take root and have a solid foundation under those circumstances. I also believe that if they can do this to their spouse they will definitely do it to you. Relationships are hard enough to add all that drama unnecessarily. I say this in the most loving way, understanding that sometimes it’s hard to not have feelings for people, especially people that are beyond our reach. Do not choose to be with people that are not accessible and start placing healthy boundaries between yourself and potential partners. Don’t you think you deserve to be with someone who wants to give you 100% of themselves?? Do you think it’s right to pursue? Someone you know is still married? None of the problems going on with the marriage justify you coming into the picture with the knowledge that you’re interfering in that relationship and that there is also a child involved. What if someone did that to you?? Imagine being that kid? Again, I’m saying this to you in a non-judgmental way. I’m saying this to you because what’s missing here is for you to have empathy for yourself and for him. Let them go. If it’s meant to be they will come back when they are divorced and available. In the meantime, you have no business having any type of contact with this person. Your time and your attention is valuable and it should not be wasted on someone who cannot give you what you need. Do not give this person any more real estate in your mind. I promise this will pass and you will probably never get into a situation like this again because it’s very painful and not worth your time and energy. You get me??