Hate the way i look , cant enjoy my life or any moment really knowing that im ugly. Hopefully this will pass it started when i was 16, attempted 2 times at 17 and was in the psych ward. Happy to be 18 though
Woke up with it one day just before I turned 18. Couldn’t eat from the unsettling anxiety i knew something was wrong because I’ve never felt this way before but it was just like someone ripped my soul out of me while I was sleeping It took me ages to start eating again, I couldn’t swallow food, had no energy, didn’t want to do anything. Anyway, I was diagnosed with OCD at 21. The spiralling thoughts had me insanely depressed. I was just fixating 24 hours a day, I still do but they’ve been manageable lately. Even though it was extremely painful to exist, I had high functioning depression. I succeeded in goals I wanted to accomplish even if I really wasn’t enjoying existing.
Haven’t had a relationship last longer than 3 months, I’m 29 but I’ve still managed to sleep with a lot of women, though I’m self-conscious as fuck.
I’m unsure if I still have it but I envy people with relationships etc. I think that’s what I’m missing in life.
Even though I was depressed as fuck, I lived my 20’s better than I ever thought I would apart from the fact I thought I’d be married by 25 and have a few kids by now.
tbh it comes and goes, and tbh reddit is probably a good place to be heard and find help, family would be scared or not the first option for some topics, friends/people in general don’t like dealing with problems that aren’t theirs
Depression episodes suck. It’s hard to get motivated to do literally anything other than watching TV shows. And than the time you’re depression episode is gone, you still don’t end up doing anything.
Years of undiagnosed ADHD typical middle child other two siblings tested and diagnosed very early. Which fed the flames unregulated emotions suicide attempts and lack of impulse control. Still a daily struggle but easier with understanding and a little compassion for yourself.
I watched my boyfriend spiral into depression during college. Started noticing him skipping classes sleeping through entire days. The worst part? He kept saying I’m fine with this hollow smile. Took months of gentle pushing before he finally opened up and got help.
Used to be depressed because I didn’t take care of myself, didn’t try in school, sat at home and played video games all day, never went outside, didn’t care about my appearance, had a bad attitude, was addicted to porn, and didn’t care about making friends.
Summer between junior and senior year of HS I started working out, reading for fun, eating healthy, learned how to groom and dress myself, started to be more social, and adopted a positive attitude. I put in my best effort next year at school. Completely stopped watching porn.
Fixed the depression, went from a loser to a relatively popular kid—or at least well-liked—that quickly. Never had been out with a girl, but senior year I had multiple girls asking me out, which blew my mind.
I’m 25 now. Those decisions I made to fix my life when I was 17 were the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I would recommend them to everyone.
Depression isn’t always self-imposed, but if you’re depressed, ask yourself this: Am I genuinely doing everything I can to not be depressed? If someone I REALLY cared about were living my life, would I want them to change anything? Evaluate your lifestyle and habits from the third person, and substitute the person you care most about. It helps to objectively evaluate how you treat yourself. The majority of depressed people that I have met are depressed as a result of things that they do to themselves.
I realized that depression is actually a completely natural reaction to the state of modern society, and being well-adjusted to materialism isn’t necessarily a sign of a healthy mindset.
Realizing this ironically has helped me come to terms with my place in the world, and how I just need to start fixing problems in my life one step at a time, rather than focusing on others’ problems which are mostly outside of my control.
Empathetic & egalatarian folks of the world need to start putting themselves first without shame, because plenty of outright sociopathic people around me have no problem doing the same without hesitation. Your house has to be in order before you can begin helping other people.
When I was 21, my parents fought constantly during the construction of our house. My mom was the one funding the project, and she had specific design requests. My dad was the contractor—but even though we paid him for the work, they clashed over the design, the cost, and everything in between.
One time, during a video call, they started arguing while I was on the line. I just sat there, listening to them fight, and eventually I broke down. I cried. I couldn’t handle it anymore.
At the same time, I was dealing with my own health issues—taking medication for high uric acid and high blood pressure. The stress only made it worse.
Since then, I made a promise to myself: I will never manage or get in the middle of any construction project involving my family. No matter how much I want to help, I won’t put myself through that again.
Having gone through one recently, I realised the best way to look at it is that whole of life is a depression. Now if whole of life is a depression, what can I do? I just do what I feel like doing.
I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. Never seen anyone about it though. It seems to run in my family. Everyday is a battle with my suicidal mind that see’s no point in anything.
There are small snippets of joy. Surrounded by large swarms of apathy.
I was very confused because I felt sad and guilty all the time about my lack of productivity at work and around the house but I still enjoyed life. Then I felt sad and guilty about having fun and enjoying life even though I knew I was being lazy.
This made me associate “having fun” with “feeling bad”. This lead me into to a cycle of cortisol (stress brain chemical) being released when I did things that normally should release none. Cortisol stops serotonin (“calm” brain chemical) from being processed. (I am not a doctor, this is not medically accurate. I don’t care about medical accuracy. I seek a greater victory).
My benefit? I was born with a dopamine dysregulation (you may know the medical condition as ADHD, it is a very inaccurate term even though it is very medically accurate), which basically means I am constantly in “get shit done” mode. This is not as fun as it sounds, if you consider the ramifications (whenever I’m bored my brain chemicals simulate light crack-withdrawal-like symptoms).
One of the very few benefits of my medical condition (I feel no stigma or shame because I did not cause it) is that I naturally operate in a mind state close (not similar, adjacent) to a receptive hypnotic state. This is only a disadvantage if you are not aware of it.
Once I realised that I am very easy to self-hypnotise, I started self hypnotising myself to associate challenge with victory instead of the fear of failure, and to associate failure with a learning opportunity. There is no greater teacher than the enemy.
Therefore I am slowly making progress with my laziness day by day. I relish the day when I am in a place where I am happy with myself, because then I will be unburdened by myself. This will make constant struggle (read: constant victory) against my medical condition easier.
Not diagnosed but the last 3 months have been rough out there and it was the last drop. Lack of emotions, interest and motivation. Constant anxiety and stress. More like a burnout than depression.
I still haven’t figured out the answers myself and therapy has been a waste of time & money.
I am starting to get better but it’s still not the perfect time.
Childhood trauma, led to some decisions as a teenager I hated myself for. Too much drink and drugs in my early 20s. Took Ecstasy and it allowed me to open up and talk about things that had happened. That led to me going to therapy in my late 20s. Now I’m 31 with a far better understanding of myself and a grip on my triggers/ coping mechanisms
Fell hard into it when I was 19. Tried to take my own life twice(somehow survived both attempts)
Then, out of nowhere, it disappeared this year. Like woke up one morning and It was gone.
It is strange but I’ll take what I can get.
Comments
Hate the way i look , cant enjoy my life or any moment really knowing that im ugly. Hopefully this will pass it started when i was 16, attempted 2 times at 17 and was in the psych ward. Happy to be 18 though
Truly, a premium subscription to emotional chaos.
I have chronic depression, it isn’t great but its manageable.
I would say I am a lot better now than I used to be.
I have better tools and knowledge about what works for me.
I also have a very good community around me which helps a lot.
everyone deals with depression at some point, it’s up to you if you’ll let it infect your mind in my opinion. Thinking positively is the move.
If you want a story we’d be here for ages and ages. However, here is a list of what’s happened with me:
-Developed Hydrocephalus 3 months after birth and was treated differently from others
-Held back a year at school
-Teachers predicted poor grade outcomes for me
-Struggled to make friends at school and would sometimes follow my mates because I didn’t want to be alone
-Adult life slowly complicated the life I was used to beforehand
-Friends I used to have moved on and didn’t want to know me anymore
-Made some big mistakes that messed my mind and life up for a while
-Felt like I couldn’t do anything right
-Spent years not fulfilling my potential
Woke up with it one day just before I turned 18. Couldn’t eat from the unsettling anxiety i knew something was wrong because I’ve never felt this way before but it was just like someone ripped my soul out of me while I was sleeping It took me ages to start eating again, I couldn’t swallow food, had no energy, didn’t want to do anything. Anyway, I was diagnosed with OCD at 21. The spiralling thoughts had me insanely depressed. I was just fixating 24 hours a day, I still do but they’ve been manageable lately. Even though it was extremely painful to exist, I had high functioning depression. I succeeded in goals I wanted to accomplish even if I really wasn’t enjoying existing.
Haven’t had a relationship last longer than 3 months, I’m 29 but I’ve still managed to sleep with a lot of women, though I’m self-conscious as fuck.
I’m unsure if I still have it but I envy people with relationships etc. I think that’s what I’m missing in life.
Even though I was depressed as fuck, I lived my 20’s better than I ever thought I would apart from the fact I thought I’d be married by 25 and have a few kids by now.
tbh it comes and goes, and tbh reddit is probably a good place to be heard and find help, family would be scared or not the first option for some topics, friends/people in general don’t like dealing with problems that aren’t theirs
Depression episodes suck. It’s hard to get motivated to do literally anything other than watching TV shows. And than the time you’re depression episode is gone, you still don’t end up doing anything.
Years of undiagnosed ADHD typical middle child other two siblings tested and diagnosed very early. Which fed the flames unregulated emotions suicide attempts and lack of impulse control. Still a daily struggle but easier with understanding and a little compassion for yourself.
I watched my boyfriend spiral into depression during college. Started noticing him skipping classes sleeping through entire days. The worst part? He kept saying I’m fine with this hollow smile. Took months of gentle pushing before he finally opened up and got help.
What’s young? I’m 39.
For me, it’s undiagnosed ADHD and autism, masking like crazy trying to fit in, taking everything personally. That shits not healthy
Used to be depressed because I didn’t take care of myself, didn’t try in school, sat at home and played video games all day, never went outside, didn’t care about my appearance, had a bad attitude, was addicted to porn, and didn’t care about making friends.
Summer between junior and senior year of HS I started working out, reading for fun, eating healthy, learned how to groom and dress myself, started to be more social, and adopted a positive attitude. I put in my best effort next year at school. Completely stopped watching porn.
Fixed the depression, went from a loser to a relatively popular kid—or at least well-liked—that quickly. Never had been out with a girl, but senior year I had multiple girls asking me out, which blew my mind.
I’m 25 now. Those decisions I made to fix my life when I was 17 were the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I would recommend them to everyone.
Depression isn’t always self-imposed, but if you’re depressed, ask yourself this: Am I genuinely doing everything I can to not be depressed? If someone I REALLY cared about were living my life, would I want them to change anything? Evaluate your lifestyle and habits from the third person, and substitute the person you care most about. It helps to objectively evaluate how you treat yourself. The majority of depressed people that I have met are depressed as a result of things that they do to themselves.
I realized that depression is actually a completely natural reaction to the state of modern society, and being well-adjusted to materialism isn’t necessarily a sign of a healthy mindset.
Realizing this ironically has helped me come to terms with my place in the world, and how I just need to start fixing problems in my life one step at a time, rather than focusing on others’ problems which are mostly outside of my control.
Empathetic & egalatarian folks of the world need to start putting themselves first without shame, because plenty of outright sociopathic people around me have no problem doing the same without hesitation. Your house has to be in order before you can begin helping other people.
When I was 21, my parents fought constantly during the construction of our house. My mom was the one funding the project, and she had specific design requests. My dad was the contractor—but even though we paid him for the work, they clashed over the design, the cost, and everything in between.
One time, during a video call, they started arguing while I was on the line. I just sat there, listening to them fight, and eventually I broke down. I cried. I couldn’t handle it anymore.
At the same time, I was dealing with my own health issues—taking medication for high uric acid and high blood pressure. The stress only made it worse.
Since then, I made a promise to myself: I will never manage or get in the middle of any construction project involving my family. No matter how much I want to help, I won’t put myself through that again.
just grew up with really unfortunate circumstances and it made me into a weird dude. I’m doing okay right now though.
I grew up in a shit family. My younger brother is loved and I’m a burden/regret.
Along time my neglect made me react and so I was sent to special schools and separated from the assholes that cursed me with such a life.
Eventually I was back with the assholes that birthed me and dicht me to put me through hell.
If your parents genuine love you please support them.
The only love in my life is my soon to be wife and some of my aunts.
I feel like I somehow have both the “I don’t want to eat” depression and the “I only want to eat” depression so there’s that.
I know the root of my depression is my feeling of incompetence, it’s still there I’m luckily too occupied to think about it too much.
grade school, half the guys bullied me and the other half avoided me.
Didn’t have friends at high school and I couldn’t study properly even if I wanted to.
-In my hometown the only job I managed to land was as a part timer at the gas station.
Having gone through one recently, I realised the best way to look at it is that whole of life is a depression. Now if whole of life is a depression, what can I do? I just do what I feel like doing.
I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. Never seen anyone about it though. It seems to run in my family. Everyday is a battle with my suicidal mind that see’s no point in anything.
There are small snippets of joy. Surrounded by large swarms of apathy.
I was very confused because I felt sad and guilty all the time about my lack of productivity at work and around the house but I still enjoyed life. Then I felt sad and guilty about having fun and enjoying life even though I knew I was being lazy.
This made me associate “having fun” with “feeling bad”. This lead me into to a cycle of cortisol (stress brain chemical) being released when I did things that normally should release none. Cortisol stops serotonin (“calm” brain chemical) from being processed. (I am not a doctor, this is not medically accurate. I don’t care about medical accuracy. I seek a greater victory).
My benefit? I was born with a dopamine dysregulation (you may know the medical condition as ADHD, it is a very inaccurate term even though it is very medically accurate), which basically means I am constantly in “get shit done” mode. This is not as fun as it sounds, if you consider the ramifications (whenever I’m bored my brain chemicals simulate light crack-withdrawal-like symptoms).
One of the very few benefits of my medical condition (I feel no stigma or shame because I did not cause it) is that I naturally operate in a mind state close (not similar, adjacent) to a receptive hypnotic state. This is only a disadvantage if you are not aware of it.
Once I realised that I am very easy to self-hypnotise, I started self hypnotising myself to associate challenge with victory instead of the fear of failure, and to associate failure with a learning opportunity. There is no greater teacher than the enemy.
Therefore I am slowly making progress with my laziness day by day. I relish the day when I am in a place where I am happy with myself, because then I will be unburdened by myself. This will make constant struggle (read: constant victory) against my medical condition easier.
Not diagnosed but the last 3 months have been rough out there and it was the last drop. Lack of emotions, interest and motivation. Constant anxiety and stress. More like a burnout than depression.
I still haven’t figured out the answers myself and therapy has been a waste of time & money.
I am starting to get better but it’s still not the perfect time.
One thing I would say that helps me is my friends
Childhood trauma, led to some decisions as a teenager I hated myself for. Too much drink and drugs in my early 20s. Took Ecstasy and it allowed me to open up and talk about things that had happened. That led to me going to therapy in my late 20s. Now I’m 31 with a far better understanding of myself and a grip on my triggers/ coping mechanisms
Fell hard into it when I was 19. Tried to take my own life twice(somehow survived both attempts)
Then, out of nowhere, it disappeared this year. Like woke up one morning and It was gone.
It is strange but I’ll take what I can get.