First off let me say, I don’t like the banter/trash talk and button pushing games that seem to be apart of most male friendships.
I live in Memphis and it seems Meetup is kinda limited here. A lot of the groups don’t meet regularly and if they do they only have like 5 people lol. Also a lot of them that do meet tend to meet in the evenings during the week and I work 2nd shift.
My interests/hobbies are cooking, reading, writing, going to street festivals, going to football games (univ of memphis has a decent program). I don’t like to drink and I can’t even if I did because of meds I take.
Anyone got any suggestions? I looked into book clubs but so far haven’t found one that matches my schedule. Working 2nd shift sucks.
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It’s shared interests and hobbies.
It might be worth joining small or infrequent groups.
If nothing else you have fun but you might make links that lead to mates.
You don’t. It’s over. Hope your sons like you.
Damn, I live for the banter and trash talk.
I mean, some of my friends spent years installing those buttons in my psyche so they can press them (and vice versa), it would be shame not to let them enjoy pressing them.
I only ever had one friend that thought being an asshole to each other was a normal part of friendship. All the other stuff I’m totally into, especially writing… I miss being around creative people. I’ll drink your beers for you at the football games. My college didn’t have a football team.
42… the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
Sounds like your lifestyle makes it difficult to foster friendships naturally, I’d suggest online gamer friends or other people that work 2nd shift (or change out of the job/shift if you can). The truth is, it’s more difficult the older you get, even at 30 years old. People tend to be set in their ways, have families, less free time, etc.
The basic principles of developing friendships is commonalities + consistency. You can meet people with common interests, but if you don’t have a means of seeing them or messaging them consistently, any relationship will die out. This is why it’s so easy in school to make friends, consistency is already built in. So look at your life and interests, do you have any activities where you naturally cross paths with new people and can do it consistently? (once a week preferably).
I did the opposite, and just became more comfortable being on my own, but the times in my adult life when I had the most friends, I moved into a community house. This is like having good neighbors that all feel like part of community. So there was a common interest and consistency living with each other and friendships blossomed naturally. Something worth considering.
Dude it seems to me that you are limiting yourself.
Most people I know in their 40s make friends though some kind of activities.
1 – find a gym buddy who has a similar schedule.
2 – join a bowling league
3 – if you have kids then another parent that your child is friend with.
4 – someone from work.