I think I’ve handled this but I just HAVE to get this off my chest because it’s crazy. My best friend of about 7 or 8 years got my full government name tattooed in a very large font on their wrist as a surprise for my birthday without asking my permission. I mean my full first middle and last name. It’s absolutely massive and bold . It was so shocking and I had to call them maybe 4 hours later after I processed to tell them that it absolutely has to go and I am not okay with it. I mean my full name just absolutely branded on their wrist. They had pure intentions but I was just absolutely not okay with it, if they had asked me about this I would have told them absolutely not . It doesn’t help that we ran into eachother at Walmart when I was with my boyfriend and we were both shown at the same time. He obviously doesn’t like it either. It’s just so jarring to see my name like that. Im not even sure if I want to continue this friendship because it just feels disrespectful???
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I think I’ve handled this but I just HAVE to get this off my chest because it’s crazy. My best friend of about 7 or 8 years got my full government name tattooed in a very large font on their wrist as a surprise for my birthday without asking my permission. I mean my full first middle and last name. It’s absolutely massive and bold . It was so shocking and I had to call them maybe 4 hours later after I processed to tell them that it absolutely has to go and I am not okay with it. I mean my full name just absolutely branded on their wrist. They had pure intentions but I was just absolutely not okay with it, if they had asked me about this I would have told them absolutely not . It doesn’t help that we ran into eachother at Walmart when I was with my boyfriend and we were both shown at the same time. He obviously doesn’t like it either. It’s just so jarring to see my name like that. Im not even sure if I want to continue this friendship because it just feels disrespectful???
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took that I demanded my friend to remove or cover a tattoo that they got that was my first, middle, and last name
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA but this is tricky, you’re not at all the asshole for not liking the tattoo and they’re certainly the asshole for getting it as a surprise, but unfortunately since it’s their body I don’t know that you can demand they remove it. You can certainly request it and end the friendship either way, but ultimately it’s up to them which (horrifying) tattoos to keep
NTA. That’s giving obsessed vibes. And to do it without talking to you about it is just next level weird. Not sure you can “demand” they do anything – it’s their body – so now that the shock is over try to have a calm conversation with them about why this is not ok for you.
What are the “pure intentions” that you mentioned? Exactly?
Nta for wanting your friend to remove it. It’s wierd that someone would get your full name tattooed on them. But where you are the ah is demanding they remove something from their body. You can ask them to remove it. Not demand. But their also the ah for getting it in the first.
NTA, I would be horrified if my best friend did the samething. But sadly it’s their body and choice if they want to keep it or not. All you can do is ask them to remove it, but maybe end the friendship and hope they will remove it or get it covered. You are not in the wrong, but your friend is.
Sounds like your friend is in love with you. You can’t control what they do but you can control your reaction – if you feel truly uncomfortable with their behaviour, you stop hanging out with them.
What they decide to do with the tattoo, is up to them.
This is weird. Do y’all look alike? Because I’m getting Single White Female vibes; like is this person going to try to off you & take over your identity?
You can’t MAKE them change it or cover it up, but NTA for being uncomfortable and asking. It might just be easier to change your name at this point and start over in a new city.
I’m going to go with “Things that didn’t happen for $100, Alex”.
NTA. IM afraid we are going to find multiple pieces of you in his back yard
NTA
That’s pretty weird, mate.
You’re in no position to demand anything. Their body, their choice
That said, the tattoo is creepy af. I would seriously reconsider the friendship
Positive note, they didn’t tattoo your drivers license on their back. NTA, that’s definitely strange, but it’s their body .
They got your name tattooed as a birthday surprise for you? That’s weird. NTA. Do they have other names tattooed on them? It doesn’t matter to my rating just curious.
ETA: fixed pronouns.
NTA my uncle who has lots of tattoos told me a long time ago there are only 2 names you tattoo on yourself. Your name because you will always be you and your mom because your mom will always be your mom. Everything else has the potential to end up badly.
Is it possible that your “friend” has a crush on you and secretly (or maybe now not so secretly) wants to date you? NTA, because this way overboard for just a friend.
😬 YIKES
Question: Any chance they’re in love with you? And what’s their age? Are you all in a state of transition (leaving college etc) or do they maybe have some burgeoning mental health stuff going on?
As for getting rid of the tattoo, it’s their body, their choice, but you’re allowed to be sketched out and maybe get some distance between you both
You have a strange (and scary) friend.
Put it this way..if you were a guy and their best friend they wouldn’t of got your name tattooed, period.
That should tell you everything. Best friends you plan a tattoo together, get matching tattoos, similar tattoos, go at same time.. something like this
You don’t randomly get the others name tatted .it’s like his way of thinking you’ll be around forever so he’ll eventually have you as his girlfriend..that’s how it comes off
Could it be a prank? Maybe like a non-permanent tattoo
NTA cause it’s creepy but INFO is this very out of character for your best friend? You seem, understandably, shocked and don’t mention any previous bad behavior on your friends part, are they ok?
NTA, gender neutral pronouns make this feel sus.
Jed-Maxwell-ass behaviour. NTA.
INFO: Is this in the realm of normal for them or are they experiencing some sort of mental crisis? I ask because getting anyone’s name on you is a big deal and for it to be large and prominent is a statement.
If this is in the normal zone for them then you have to decide if this is the sort of personality you want to stay friends with.
If it’s not normal, gently enquire about their mental state and see if they’d be willing to get evaluated (hopefully you’ll have influence). Psychosis or schizophrenia can start with smaller changes of behaviour before more severe symptoms begin.
Don’t frame it as disrespectful but as concerning behaviour that’s out of character.
No judgement at this point. We can’t demand someone get rid of a tattoo because it’s their body but we can decide how we will respond to uncomfortable situations.
Pure intentions? What the actual fuck? Nta
NTA For wanting the tattoo gotten rid of. But I don’t think there’s any legal way you can compel your friend to remove the tattoo.
If they truly value the friendship they may get rid of it for that reason.
Well you’re gay? So? There isn’t really monogamy in male homosexual relationships. Your bfs a newb gay apparently.
There’s no doubt it feels weird and you probably need to reevaluate the friendship. It’s stalkery, but I don’t see it as a potential identity fraud problem (your reaction sounds a little to me like that might be part of where your mind is going).
But……his body his choice. You can’t force it. Although, if you end the friendship over it there may be a chance he decides to get it removed anyway.
NTA
I would like to say that I am a straight woman in a relationship and this person is a nonbinary person (from female)
ETA: Your friend is weird, and you can’t demand they do anything with their own body.
You can cut them out of your life, end the friendship, tell them they’re weird – but you can’t demand shit. It makes you weird too dude. You’ve every right to be weirded out and confused and set your own boundaries around that – but they don’t have to do anything about their new tattoo. They also can’t get it immediately removed or covered up safely.
NTA
Yeah, that’s pretty damn weird.
NTA. This is wild.
Need to know what his/her “pure intentions” were before deciding if AH or NTA. But definitely strange unless the explanation means something.
NTA
And this is the reason we don’t put people’s names on our bodies.
Exceptions to this rule include: your grandparents, your parents, your children.
i’m sorry but your friend had to be truly fuckin unhinged to even think for a second that was a good idea, let alone to actually go through with it…
atp i’d change my name and move because she’s scary
This is a tricky one.
Maybe the best course of action would be to encourage them to get a cover up tattoo? I don’t think you’re the AH for not wanting them to have a tattoo of your name, but at the same time they’re not easy or cheap to remove.
Well that’s weird as hell.
NTA