so i’m part of a dept at a large company that’s going through a restructure. the boss i had before april was the one who hired me on about 4 years ago. he and i havent been super close or buddy-buddy, but professional and mostly alright from a relationship standpoint. he went overseas for vacation for 3 weeks and while he was gone, i was changed to a different team, reporting to a new person. he knew this was coming though, and talked about it before he left. that last meeting that i reported to him for, i thanked him for the coaching, guidance, and hiring me.
when he got back we had a meeting that started ok. started out talking a little about his trip and it was kinda surface level. both talked up how much we like prague. he then asked how things were going here and i said good and was kinda talking when he jumped in and pretty much took over. he said he felt that i just cut ties far too abruptly and it made it seem like i was throwing out the relationship he and i had. just like it was the end of some kind of transaction. i feel bad i made him feel that way so i was apologizing and validating his feelings, which he kept following up with “my feelings aren’t hurt. it just felt really….slimy”
he was like “i’m your stakeholder here at this company. i hired you, promoted you, gave you coaching….for it to all just be cut off one morning felt like you were just throwing it all out like it was nothing” or something to that effect. what he’s referring to is basically this: soon after my new boss started, i canceled my PTO off his calendar (figured it’s clutter he’d be happy to be rid of) and revoked the permission for him to view my calendar, and eventually (not day 1) asked if i should still be attending his staff meeting since i’m not technically his staff. that’s it. so i was very surprised and caught off guard and it was very confusing because according to him all my actions were hurtful and slimy and unprofessional. add to it when i’d apologize or say id attend the meetings, he’d say “my feelings arent hurt” and “i dont care if you come or not” soo….
but i do legit feel bad. i dont want him to feel cast aside like i dont care or that i’m not appreciative. he was also upset they did this transition while he was overseas with no meetings or discussions about a transfer or anything, but as an individual contributor i guess i dont think that’s my problem; that my new boss and old boss or their bosses would arrange that. AITH for how i took those administrative steps in my email account without talking to him? was i being slimy?
Edit for clarity. I did not request this move nor was I promoted