ok this probably isn’t the right subreddit but this community just feels like a supportive one and i’m completely at capacity. my (33 they/them) partner (31 they/them) is living with me right now and going through an intense mental health crisis. they’ve acknowledged it, they know i can’t keep supporting them, and they’ve said they’ll move out temporarily — but they need help and time to do that.
meanwhile, i can’t stay here.
i don’t feel safe or grounded in my own space. there hasn’t been physical violence, but emotionally it’s too much. i’m not okay being here tonight.
the problem is i have a dog, and i have nowhere to go with her. my closest friends can’t take her and i don’t have money for a hotel. i feel completely stuck and family isn’t close by or even that helpful.
i’m not trying to demonize my partner, but this is unsustainable. i need to protect myself. i’m just trying to survive this part.
any support or advice is appreciated.
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ok this probably isn’t the right subreddit but this community just feels like a supportive one and i’m completely at capacity. my (33 they/them) partner (31 they/them) is living with me right now and going through an intense mental health crisis. they’ve acknowledged it, they know i can’t keep supporting them, and they’ve said they’ll move out temporarily — but they need help and time to do that.
meanwhile, i can’t stay here.
i don’t feel safe or grounded in my own space. there hasn’t been physical violence, but emotionally it’s too much. i’m not okay being here tonight.
the problem is i have a dog, and i have nowhere to go with her. my closest friends can’t take her and i don’t have money for a hotel. i feel completely stuck and family isn’t close by or even that helpful.
i’m not trying to demonize my partner, but this is unsustainable. i need to protect myself. i’m just trying to survive this part.
any support or advice is appreciated.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
If I am understanding correctly this is your place. Why can’t they leave? If they are left alone and you are concerned they will hurt themself or someone else call 911. You gotta put yourself and dog first here.
Is there not a safe room in the house you can lock you & your dog in? If your partner is behaving erratically, they should be the ones removing themselves, not you.
You could also try looking for shelters that allow pets, although I don’t think many exist.
You have to put yourself first and your animal, for you are all they have. You took on the responsibility for caring for this living being, so I hope you don’t plan on abandoning them at an animal shelter.
It seems as if your partner is still somewhat reasonable enough to recognize their current crisis, why aren’t they the ones moving out immediately? Do both of you contribute to the space financially? If I were you, I would either be barricading myself in a room, or working on removing the unstable party in the situation, which in this case seems to be your partner. You obviously deeply care for them, but as you stated, you are in survival mode. I don’t mean to sound harsh or extreme but I would be calling for health services to get them 5150’d
Whose name is on the lease?
You’ll have to get your mind prepared to stay bc you have a dog.
Personally, I’d never leave my dog behind. That’s true love & family & everyone else can fuck off.
Call your local DV resources. Our town has a network of fosters for people needing to escape with a pet.
A lot of hotels accept dogs.
Is it your home? Is it both or just your name on the lease?
I don’t know your financial situation but all Motel 6s allow dogs. Also, higher end ones like Marriott and Westin do, but their pet fees are high.
I hope everything works out for you and your dog.
Hi friend, I’m sorry you are going through this. If your name is on the lease, then you can ask them to leave. If you do, I would recommend providing them with some resources and a deadline to be out (as a courtesy). There are some DV resources (doesn’t need to be physical to be DV) and they would happily provide resources for you and your dog. I hope everything works out!
Hey sowe need waypre info. What’s actually going on? Where do you live? Whose lease is it )although you’re doing the right thing by leaving since you’re the one ending things you may have to transfer the lease )
Never take away someone’s housing esp not a partner.
Call the crisis hotline. They can advise.
I think if it’s an intense crisis you get to say this is above my pay grade. You need to get help. Either we can go to the hospital together or I can call an ambulance. But you can’t stay here.
And if you feel unsafe doing this. Look into safe houses. https://www.thehotline.org/
As far as the finances go I know first hand what it’s like to live through a mental health crisis while simultaneously knowing I can not afford the cost of medical care. But if you are being put in an abusive situation or they are at risk of harming themselves or others, they no longer get to chose.
The wellstone inpatient clinic isn’t as bad as the outpatient. Maybe have partner look into that. I agree that if your name is on the lease and they have said they want to step away for a while to get better it’s time for them to do so.
If your name isn’t on the lease, or deed… That’s when things get hairy.
Sleep in your car. That’s best case with no money for hotel. I do it all the time. Go to like a Name brand hotel and just park your car. They never check all the cars
Can’t you board your dog for a few days? I think people do that when going on vacations
Call any dog rescue and tell them you need temporary foster. Your local shelter likely works with some and should be able to refer you. Or just search for animal rescue in your area.
What state and area do you live in? Is it just the dog or both of you? There’s a reason I’m asking. Please reply here and we will talk about my might being able to help you.