I always couldn’t forgive myself for what I did. I was 9 or 10 years old at this time, I was in elementary* playing around in the swings/playground all the equipment etc. I got in trouble and stayed at the top of a slide, I started crying due to how at home, now as of realizing it, he would spank me with a belt trying to teach me discipline. A girl I still see found me and ask what was wrong. I didn’t respond and she told a chaperone. I was then sent to the office with the vice principal to ask me want was wrong and told them all about my uncle. How he would hit me even though it was just discipline I didn’t say that bc I was a dumb kid back then. As the day progressed I got dropped off by the bus and walked home. I will never forget the pain and sadness that was on my mom’s face as she told me that my uncle got taken away by CPS. It was the first time I actually felt anxiety as I tried to understand the gravity of the situation and what I have done. To this day I still feel bad, I get to talk to him on the phone and stuff and he seems to have forgiven me, even though I haven’t forgiven myself, and my mother still guilt trips me some times about it. But it seems she has stopped, from what I know he doesn’t even have a job, possibly for a charge revolving in “Child abuse”. Sometimes I wish I shut my mouth up. Every holiday he misses with us was because of ME. He would even scrape up money just to go see a movie. But I took that for granted and gave him this in return. If any of you know a way to bring him back-
-Please tell me.
TL;DR: Couldn’t shut up about my uncle discipline methods and got him taken away, I don’t know what my family feels about it but hopefully they forgive me too. And I ask if you know anything that could bring him back
Comments
Are u crazy or what? This is not a TIFU. I am glad you told some adults about the physical abuse happening at home. Please don’t feel guilty about it.
Didn’t worry, it wasn’t you. CPS doesn’t do anything without an investigation. Also they don’t charge ppl. It must’ve been a coincidence.
This isn’t your fault. He was a grown man. He chose to hit a child. No one forced him to make that choice.
Spanking with a belt isn’t discipline, it’s child abuse. The fact he did it so much you were scared to go home shows it was abuse. He deserved to be punished, you did the right thing. You don’t deserve to have spent all that time being blamed for your uncle being punished for abusing you.
He ruined his life himself, by hitting a child with a belt. You just exposed him. Fuck your mother by the way.
NTA
Sounds like your uncle fucked up, by beating a small child with a belt.
CPS… took the adult away? And what, deported him? And left you, the abused, in the home where you were beat?
Are you…sure?
Your uncle was deported, but the timeline isn’t clear from your story. There’s no chance it happened right away after you told your school that he was hurting you.
Being hit with a belt is child abuse. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Please stop being mad at yourself for this.
You were 8 years old in kindergarten?? Reading this, I guess it isn’t hard to believe.
Him getting consequences is “discipline.”
Him getting deported is “discipline”
Him getting a child abuse case is “discipline”
See how that works?
Actions have consequences
You’re still thinking with a child’s mind. When you get older you will see how hitting a person with no way of defending themselves is abuse.
Think about it this way, if your uncle were elderly, feeble and making mistakes, would you beat him with a belt?
Why or why not?
There’s your answer.
You were a child and dependent on those adults to care for you. You didn’t have a choice and they took advantage of that
Read “the drama of the gifted child” by Alice miller
There is never any reason to hit a child with a belt. It doesn’t matter what the kid did/said, it is NEVER okay to beat a kid. I know it tends to be done more in some cultures, but that still doesn’t make it okay.
It sounds like this event happened a while ago and you are looking at what happened through the eyes of a child. As others have stated, while the CPS interaction could have led to the deportation, in which case your uncle’s discipline was his own undoing, it’s also far more likely that something else triggered the ice action. ICE hasn’t always been the pieces of shit weve seen in the last few months. It’s also quite likely some other of your uncle’s activities triggered the deportation.
As an adult, have you ever looked at his records, starting with his deportation records and then perhaps any criminal record from your local LE agencies? You are far more likely to find an answer there and your mom, missing her brother, has probably been fucking with you because your complaint was a convenient excuse.
https://www.uscis.gov/records/genealogy/genealogy-notebook/researching-deportation-records
Sounds like a crock of shit
CPS doesn’t deport people