26 years old, male, 73 kg x 188 cm, it may seem stupid to you but I don’t know who to consult so I’m asking here
I’ve never done physical activity in my life, I’m a bit of an extreme stereotype of a nerd, it’s not that I hate the gym, but I’ve never found the motivation to do it, I was bullied as a child, and I have practically no muscles
my thought is that if I tried I would end up failing and being made fun of by others, and I know that at 26 years old that’s a stupid thought in itself
the other day I was talking to a colleague at work and the topic of the gym came up, he also has no muscles like me, and I don’t know, the idea of signing up with a colleague who is in a similar situation to me might make me want to try
but I keep having negative thoughts including failure and being laughed at, personally I would do it more for myself than for what others think of me, but I still can’t see myself in a gym doing physical activity because of how I am by nature.
what would you do in my situation? is there anyone who has had a similar experience?
Comments
So this a great example of where goal setting comes into play. Something like ” i wanna be able to run a 10k in the summer” or ” i wanna bench 250 lbs” gives you a target to work for.
Chances are no one is going to laugh at you in the gym. I’ve belonged to lots of gyms for 15+ years and even when I had no clue what I was doing, people were always helpful and polite.
The best piece of advice I can give you is while you’re starting out and figuring out what you want to do in the gym, just go. Even if it’s for 20 minutes, drive there and try a few machines. Look up YouTube videos on form if you have questions. Use light weight and try things out. It will make you more comfortable and eventually you’ll find your groove.
73 kg and 188 sounds like a great start. You’d be surprised how encouraging people are inside a gym! They’ll help you correct you and it you want one trick perhaps use headphones loud music focus on the mirror your body and the music. Trust me it would be fun and maybe you’d get a community
Just show up and do something. Do anything. Showing up is the hard part. Once you’re there the rest is easy. Just dont push yourself harder than you can handle or you’ll want to quit. Go slow. You’re not there to impress anyone. If you need help, ask for it. You’ll be surprised at how helpful people at the gym are willing to be.
not about motivation dude
U think i’m really motivated to go to the gym no lol
i was tired of being skinny
There are plenty of lifts and exercises that you can do that are super easy for beginners to jump right into. Think about your stereotypical “gym rat,” and realize that’s about the amount of brain capacity it takes to perform these movements. Harmful failure is extremely rare, and even if non-harmful failure does happen, that’s okay! It happens to those guys too, all the time. In fact, a lot of guys who are super serious about lifting will still be staring at their lifting apps to see how to do each lift. Nobody’s gonna laugh. They may check if you’re okay, but this isn’t a sitcom; everyone’s there to do their own thing, and couldn’t care less if there’s someone there who’s weaker than them.
You should know, study after study suggests that there is no minimal threshold to exercise benefits. Even the smallest amount of exercise is good for you. So, it’s okay to start small! Start with some simple lifts and plyometrics, incorporate more protein and greens into your diet, and track your progress. You’ll be amazed how quickly you can go from a novice to being pretty competent in the gym.
I’d recommend getting a membership to the same place as your buddy, but don’t necessarily lock your lifting schedule to when he is also going. Chances are he isn’t where he is right now because of his ability to maintain proper workout habits, either. Last but not least, remember to always rack your weights!
Okay, something I’m actually qualified to talk about.
So firstly. No one gives a shit about you, people won’t laugh at you because they likely wont even register you exist.
Secondly, you can’t “fail” at working out. You are perpetually failing at working out by not working out.
Thirdly, and this is more opinion. But don’t start with anyone. I honestly think having a training partner is a net negative when you’re beginning you need to rely on yourself to get the work done.
Also. Basically every dude who looks like me started as either really fucking scrawny or really fucking fat. And we are all huge nerds.
The benefits of the gym has to outweigh your desire. I’ve been going regularly since 2011, did it because I want to look good/feel good. Took several years to see progress but when I did I was hooked. Take it one training session at a time a set small goals to get you acclimatized.
I wise corporation once said: “just do it”
A good gym will take you through a workout and show you how to use the machines. And every single person who is working out there has started on day one, just like you. Call your nearest gym and talk to someone.
Gyms these days generally aren’t filled with ass holes like it would be in school, and you’ll never get any comments or even weird looks unless you turned up in a bodybuilder specific gym with no experience. And even then, they’ll probably come over to you only to help you with form, to avoid injury, and help you figure out a good program to help someone who has less experience.
Anyone who is above the mental age of 12, who will see you actually putting in some effort to improve your life, will look at you with respect for being willing to put your health and life above the judgments of weak and little strangers. It sounds like it should be a given, but it’s easier said than done in this superficial world.
Once you go a few times, you’ll quickly get into the rhythm, and you’ll realise everyone else is there to burn some calories, work on their own shape, and get the fuck out. Just like you.
If you want to absolutely make sure you don’t annoy anyone, simply use common sense to adhere to gym etiquette:
Put the weights and attachments you used back on the rack
Feel free to ask someone quickly how many sets they have left, and plan around that, but don’t jump on a machine or a bench or rack whilst someone is clearly in the middle of using it
Don’t objectify or be weird about the people who might float your boat on the outside. Its sad that it has to be said, but it’s a place where you will find people who put a lot of work in, and want to feel safe (just like you) for wearing training clothes without feeling peeved on
Now, I hear you, and personally, I have a bunch of weights, different bars, a running machine in my garage… I love training in my own space. If your co-worker and you went halves, you could both put a load of equipment for 200-300 each in one of your garages and solve all these problems
When you look at the money spent on a membership yearly. It’s actually a steal doing it this way. I do that along with the app Freeletics. For someone who’s never trained, that set-up will do wonders for you. Big growth, quick, and convenient. Forget about dealing with anyone you don’t want to until you’re ready.
Last thing, don’t have to go heavy, but go do a trial session or two together, maybe at a couple different gyms, just to get a good feel for actually moving in a way you’re not used to. You have to put a little effort in during, sure, but please beleive me you are not ready for how amazing you feel, and the dopamine hits you get afterwards, for just looking after yourself. It’s AMAZING for mental health boost, not just physical health. Really. Do your whole mood and life a favor and give it a go.
Plus you both are lucky to have someone in the same stage, willing to be your training partner through the journey. You can help each other when one is down, create competitions between you, all sorts. Take advantage.
Forgive my novel.
If you’ve never worked out in your life, you’d be shocked how far body weight fitness can get you. There’s a lot of confusion about how heavy you need to lift to get basic fitness under control.
Consistency is king. Start with a well rounded body weight fitness routine at home. Stick to it religiously. Never miss a day.
By the time you “need” weights, you will be in a completely different place health wise.
ChatGPT is fantastic for workout plans in my experience. Ask it to help you out and keep it nearby to track and ask questions as you go.