I can’t stand people who preach “you shouldn’t hate anyone” like it’s some kind of moral high ground. In my opinion, they’re often the most hypocritical and insufferable types out there. They act like they’re above everyone else, but half the time, they’re just ignoring real issues or excusing terrible behavior.
These people also tend to shame you for feeling a very human emotion, which just makes them come off as fake and out-of-touch. I’d rather be around someone who admits they hate a terrible person than someone who pretends they’re too “enlightened” to feel anything negative. Anyone else feel this way, or am I just too cynical?
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I think these people just mean that you shouldn’t be rigid with your negativity. …leave space to feel differently tomorrow.
If you truly dont like someone why would you let them take up your brainspace like that. They are not worthy of your attention. When you are truly angry and hate someone, that takes a lot of energy. Its why forgiveness is important, not because the other person deserves it, but so you can let go of the weight of hate you carry. Trust me it is not worth carrying around that attitude about anyone or anything for too long or it will affect you in many ways.
I think you’re missing the point. Often people aren’t evil per se and there is more than meets the eye.
But ofc hate whoever is awful to you. The thing is hate consumes you. Instead of being busy hating someone spend your time and mental energy on more productive things and make sure you avoid them and don’t even think about them. That’s what people mean with don’t hate people. It’s not worth it and you deserve better
At least that’s what I make of it.
So sick of those hypocrites
Once again, someone has posted their misunderstanding of someone’s point on here as if it’s a hot take.
Their point is that hate and anger in general are bad for you mentally to cling onto when not necessary. To forgive is not to excuse, it is to let go of that part of your headspace that is hanging on to a person you need not lose energy to.
Hate is a natural reaction but holding onto it will shorten your life and make you unhappy.
“You shouldn’t hate anyone..!”
“You should fuck yourself sky high.”
It has nothing to do with moral high ground, they’re trying to make your life better.
I’ve been known to express surprise about people ‘hating’ people and things. Mainly because hate is such a strong word, I reserve it for the worst of the worst, so despots and rapists. Someone who I don’t like I’ll say I don’t like. But hatred is very rarely something I feel (or it was before the Trump era). So my point was maybe it’s the wording?
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hate is a powerful word and in this age words often get diluted to the point where they have no meaning. genuine hatred derrives from truly unforgivable acts and society has progressed to a point where these acts very rarely exist. most things and people we claim to hate are nothing more than simply annoyances or disagreements and not genuine moral violations that used to define the word, its really not pretending to be so enlightened to feel anything negative its quite literally emotional maturity and a greater understanding of ones own feelings.
I totally get what you’re saying. I also think that there are things that just objectively warrant a reaction of anger and disgust.
That said I try very consciously to not allow others to manipulate my emotions. Even more so in the internet era. So many stories about shitty people that for me I have to apply a filter of does this effect people close to me. If the answer is no I ask myself why am I having such a reaction.
I simply see zero benefit to hate. It is completely unproductive unless you are using it as motivation to do something beyond making social media posts virtue signaling how righteous you are. As if being better than the worst people is some flex
Not all, but some people mean this a little differently. Hate is a negative emotion, and can easily get someone not thinking clearly. So a lot of people say this not in a “that person shouldn’t be hated” way, but in a “hate isn’t good for you in general, so when you can, you should just let it go for your own good”.
I know some people just mean it in a everyone deserves love way, but I hear the “not good for the soul” reasons a bit more in my experience, and I think their’s some truth to that way of thinking.
what they really mean is they act immediately and then don’t feel guilt for the way they acted while most people actually think through their actions and end up ruminating on what they could of done after the fact.
Hatred is rarely productive. Obviously it can be natural, even the expected outcome of certain events. We can all imagine things that would make us hate another person. That definitely doesn’t mean it’s helpful or productive though.
Are they invalidating the emotions of anger/disgust, or are they advising you against wasting your own time and energy?
There are few people I’ve bothered ever hating in my life, and I’m generally better off when I let that feeling go.
“You shouldn’t hate anyone” is generally good advice, not because the person doesn’t deserve it, but because it doesn’t enrich your own life in the least.
Anger/disgust/rage are all natural emotions. Hatred can become a long-term choice, and a toxic one.
I don’t say it but I literally don’t hate anyone but myself. Hate is a strong negative emotion. I generally do not hate any particular thing or person because it would imply that they draw some sort of emotional response from me. I am usually just indifferent.
It sounds like you’re assuming the existence of free will, and that it’s available 100% of the time. It’s a common assumption that leads to a lot of negative thinking.
If you can think of a way to prove or disprove the existence of free will then you win a Nobel prize. It’s that tough of a problem.
I hate plenty of behaviors, but since nobody can prove the existence of free will, I don’t hate the person.
For example, I wouldn’t want to be born with a brain of a sociopath. Like many mental disorders, there’s no cure. But I also avoid them when possible, and warn others about them. I’m all for locking them up to protect society.
No offense but this sounds straight out of r/iam14andthisisdeep or anime shonen beginning arc before they learn the very basic lessons of empathy and focusing on the “friends we made along the way”, lol. There’s a lot of projection and stereotyping in it as well.
But I sorta getcha. Just as people grow older they usually mellow out, and understand most people have causes or their own flaws and biases. I get upset with people and it’s easy to fall into thinking how they can be divinely pubished or whatnot, but just thinking on them and how much they disserviced me and how much I hate them is…miserable. If I truly dislike them so much I try to just focus on what I love instead. It makes for a far less miserable life in my experience, as it is incredibly easy for me to wallow in my own misery and hatred if I allow myself.
Even on the grander scope like politics a la Putin — yea it’d be pretty great if they were removed from this earth but that doesn’t mean I spend a lot of time reflecting on hating them. Because it just does nothing in itself.
So I dont know if youve run into some poor judgemental pricks, or you want reassurance to feel hatred to someone. Not gonna tell you not to it just has never led to any good in my life at least.
Sounds like you hate the people that say “don’t hate”.
Can confirm, they also victim-blame a lot, like no that person did me very wrong I have a right to hate them and be mad at them
Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.
Learn the difference between hating someone and hating what are they doing.
Hate is a young man’s sport, wait till u get about 50 or 60 then you can’t afford to hate, you’ll be too worried about the health of your heart/brain etc.
I don’t “pretend” I’m “too enlightened.” I’m actually a Buddhist who puts in the work to rid myself of negative emotions. I’m not literally enlightened, I’m just interested in being the happiest and most liberated I can be. It takes practice!
Hating anyone is emotionally exhausting.
Better to let it go and not care.
I don’t think its that they’re too enlightened or ‘better then you’ to feel, its more about expressing themselves. There is, genuinely, nothing to gain from being mean to someone. Even if I hate someone, I’ll be nice to them. At the very least, civil, because nothing good will come from aggravating the situation. I feel like more often these people mean “don’t show off your hate proudly,” which is valid, because you’d just be fostering a toxic environment for no reason.
Sorry OP that every single person seems to be missing the point. Some people should be hated. That doesn’t mean you should walk around FEELING hate. It means you shouldn’t pretend bad people are good.
For me it’s how strong a word I see hate as. Growing up Catholic, we learned it was the sincere hope that someone would go to hell. Essentially that they should suffer on a cosmic scale, forever.
From a less religious standpoint, I still see it as wishing extreme suffering in life on someone. I just don’t know anyone, and hope I never do, that deserves that. Even murderers I hope can find some sort of fulfillment after being locked away
No, I agree. I actually hate Trump. And for years I steered away from saying that and kept telling myself “I don’t really know the guy and he doesn’t know me.” so what’s kind do I have in the game? As it turns out – a lot. So I eventually had to be honest with myself in terms of a person I truly believe is a morally corrupt, backwards and, well . . . hateful bigot. And fundamentally, I can’t get over the fact that he’s done everything in his power to teach/spread hate towards me and a ton of people I know. I don’t know many mega-rich white people so honestly it was pretty much everyone I know or have known. And so I had to get over that word.
When that person shot at him, I wasn’t about it. A lot of people were, but wishing death on someone is a massive leap and rather disgusting imo. Hell, I couldn’t even imagine wearing a “Fck Trump” shirt to combat all those “Fck Fauci/Biden/Hillary etc etc etc” shirts. I mean – we all hate Hitler but I’m not gonna wear a f*ck Hitler shirt. Or a fuck ANYone shirt. Why? Because there are kids and families around in public and I’m an adult. But did I want to shout it from the rooftops – you betcha. Sorry – hate the guy. HATE him.
To answer your one question…yes.
I hate intolerant people
To me, they are people who have learned an important lesson during their life and want to prevent others not to repeat their mistake
You definitely shouldn’t hate anyone. Sure there are people who annoy you or people that you dislike. But hate to me is that you wouldn’t help them if they were bleeding on the side of the road. Sure maybe there is a reason why, so hating someone should be extremely rare. Like they purposefully ruined your life
I heard that a couple of times by some people. Especially with Christians who are known to be preachy and hateful if you don’t follow their teachings. I have difficulties finding people who are truly kind and genuine.
Perhaps another perspective may help?
Hate takes a LOT of energy to maintain. It’s exhausting and, although a natural emotion, runs contrary to societal construct. Like Fight or Flight I believe it’s meant to be a temporary emotion for a temporary problem. (To discourage further contact with one individual)
Beyond the initial surge however I feel the Rage of Hate is replaced by resentment, avoidance and distrust. Three emotions that take Much Less energy but can achieve the same outcome for a longer period of time.
Perhaps this is what people mean when they say they don’t Hate?
I have had many, MANY opportunities and Valid Reasons to Hate quite a few people for Life.
But eventually you reach that point of realization that they probably don’t even give you a second thought.
So why are you allowing them such Dominion over your Thoughts & Emotions?
No One Person will Ever Control Me this Way. Especially with My Help.
People who tell you how to feel about generally anything, people included, are the worst people.
People who say “hate” when they mean “dislike” are worse.
I used to het you are too young to hate anyone. Sorry but being a kid doesn’t make my dad any less terrible.
Seriously, it’s your loss. Hate is a negative emotion that you are literally promoting here. Do yourself a favour.
The only people I’ve heard legit preach this are Buddhist monks, and all they do is focus on the worst parts of humanity.
Now I’ve noticed a lot of Christians say this but don’t actually do it, and they can be a little snotty.
It sounds like you are around some unhealthy people and think the whole world is that way. It isn’t, you should break away from it, because this judgment you are making sounds exactly like the people you are claiming to hate.
They’re not as bad as those fuckers that tell me I need to give a certain person “grace”. Performative bullshit. Some people don’t deserve my “grace”.
People who make the claim that they are “full of love” are often the least loving, most judgemental people you could meet.
It’s communal narcissism, a form of covert narcissism.
Who cares
Hate does nothing for those it is directed towards and only serves to devour those who hold onto it. But by all means go ahead, maybe try smoking crack too while you are at it