I met this girl working over seas. We both worked at embassies and neither were native to this country. We met at an event. A few months before meeting she broke up with her fiance. We dated for about half a year but then she had to go back to her home country. We decided to stay together and do long distance. I asked to switch places so I go to the embassy in her country like we talked about.
We fell in love so hard and we constantly talked about or future, she told me that we were soul mates, and that this was the healthiest relationship she’s ever been in. The about two weeks ago her ex fiance showed up at her door stop. They talked and she told me everything right away. I had no reason to not trust her and we continued on as it was perfect. We even planned a trip to a country in the middle together and payed for flights and everything. Then the past 3 days she grew distant and yesterday she tells me he came back, proved he’s changed, and she breaks up with me to get back together with him. I need advice. How do I move on from this? How do I stop just the horrible feelings towards myself? What could I have done to be someone worth choosing?
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She told you you were soulmates, made future plans, then chose someone who left her once before. That’s betrayal dressed up as closure, and your pain is the price of loving someone who didn’t know what they wanted.
Damn man, I feel sorry for you. That said, I think you dodged a bullet. This girl seems very fickle and not reliable. You can’t go from one extreme where you think someone is your soul mate to falling out of love and going for someone else so soon. I feel she possibly either has some personality disorder, or deep down still longed for her ex and treated you as a rebound, or is just a shitty person. Let it sting for a bit but carry on with your life. You will eventually be fine no doubts about it
First off, I’m sorry this happened to you. It says nothing about your character, however, it says a hell of a lot to the kind of person your ex is. It’s gonna be hard, but moving forward alone seems like the best course of action. Move back to your previous embassy so you won’t have to see her. Good luck, OP.
She’ll be back on your door stop soon enough. I doubt he has changed. Don’t take her back.
He hasn’t changed, but that’s not your problem. Chances are he’s been around for some time and she hasn’t told you everything.
Don’t reach out. Don’t text her. Don’t call her. Do absolutely zero. You have no reason to start communicating with her. Let her fall on her face with the ex and just go about your life. One day you will get a “hey” message from her. Then you can say “screwed up the healthiest relationship you’ve ever had to jump back into whatever you had your ex had. It didn’t work and now you’re seeing if there is a chance. Sorry, no.”
The worst hasn’t even come yet, now she’s with him, and they’re not going to work out, then she comes back to you, it’s still going to be the height of shit, don’t go back with her, it was a release