The older I get (28), I’m realizing the people around me are becoming less curious in learning/doing new things. I’ll bring up topics to my friends regarding philosophy (that does relate to them) and they aren’t very interested. No questions, nothing to contribute to the conversation. In the rare occasion there’s a party, they don’t want to get down to dance. Not even learn a couple moves. I’m always down to learn something new, if it’s presented to me with passion. These aren’t the only examples, just what came to mind to me recently. I guess I have a feeling that I’m lacking the ability to relate to the people around me anymore.
I understand we all get older, work, and create our own families. Which leaves us too occupied to care about anything else. But does that mean we lose our sense of wonder too? Idk
I’m not sure if it’s just me who experiences these feelings, or anyone else so that’s why I posted.
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Have you considered that perhaps it’s not that your friends aren’t curious…it’s that they’re just not curious about the same things as you?
Man, I have experienced the complete opposite in my 30s. Once I found my tribe (wife, kids, in-laws, close knit-friends), I found myself caring much, much less about what other people do or think. This has resulted in me being way more open about trying new things, freely exploring new ideas, and overall, netting a much clearer mindset.
People do naturally lose their sense of wonder as they age and it happens at different times (gradually) for different people. It’s up to you to actively maintain it and it’s a beautiful thing to hold onto that sense of wonder while having adult perspective of the world. Don’t lose it!
Maybe they aren’t interested in things you are? Which isn’t a bad thing really, just maybe you need to find people who are interested in those things
i’m 49, and it’s not so much losing a sense of wonder as it is the realization that the essence of everything is derivative of something we’ve already experienced, therefore not new. every movie is the same story, every song is the same format. in ten years the cultural landscape will shift again into a thing that seems different on the surface but really is just the same reality with a new gloss. every new kind of philosophical idea you think you’re having i’ve already spent years thinking about back in 1998. this idea that people grow old and bitter is not so much that, it’s that all we see around us not-newness.
People tend to become less curious when they reach their 30s. Then they start becoming jaded and hate everything new and then bitch about the young generation. They become a relic of time.
I found that in myself. Took me a while to get back to earlier curiosity levels, but without external help to see loss of curiosity I might have gone down the spiral.
I feel like the older people get, the more they cement their feeling if ‘I know who I am and what I like’, this leads to them being less curious of things outside of their comfort zone and instead just looking inwards and being in their own established environment to be comfortable. This leads to less of a thirst for novel things and learning new stuff. Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone, but it requires effort
You start your life needing to learn as much as possible, as fast as possible.
The more you get your life in order, and the more complex it is, the more you prioritize stability and maintenance over discovery. You’ve found a way to get by in life, and really it only takes one
If you have children, you’re even more risk averse, because your children are even less resilient to change than you are. Even if you don’t have children, your brain is still wired for the purpose of having children.
OMG I feel you deeply.. I notice the same thing and its so sad to watch. I came up with this theory that there are some of us that age with wonder, and others who just age and lose their zest for life. I think it has to do with how you see the world honestly. the fact that you mention philosophy and being curious about things tells me that you are possibly like me and intereseted in alot of different perspectives, and questioning our reality. Perhaps you also don’t have an overly strong ego and tend to be open to new information as a result.
So many people are the opposite and because of it, their consciousness becomes sort of crystalized as they get older.
Another big one is shame. If you dont’ heal your ego and shame as you get older, these things continue to control you without your awareness (just like Carl jung taught).
I have always been a questioner and someone who explores myself, my own way of seeing the world and the reasons why I see things the way that I do. Others can find this process extremely intimidating, hence why they don’t want to get into these philisophical musings with you.
Introspection I guess would be the world. So many people feel more comfortable with ignoring that inner part of themselves as it just holds too much. The subconscious is kind of like a volcano ready to erupt, all the hot energy just bubbling below the surface, they are just trying to contain it all and still pretend to be happy. So I wouldn’t go pressing the matters too much (like I did) and get yourself into trouble lol. All you can do is continue to shine your light and hope to be an example.
I have been healing my trauma and working on myself for so long. I am 38 and people are shocked when I tell them my age. I really do credit it to this thing about myself. When we are unchanging we become stiff and age faster. To make room for new life and new light we have to be willing to let the old things within us die off, and not many are comfortable with this process. But a few of us are!!! <3
Not sure if you even resonate with this, sorry if i have made any assumptions lol. Just how I have kinda been seeing things lately.
Another point – this is really where we are on our evolutionary scale as humans (inner transformation and healing). I think there is alot of intense energy on the Earth right now and I have been noticing that some of these people with crystalized consciousnesses seem to be having a very hard time adjusting to the ever changing conditions and many are having an extremely hard time in life due to it. Not just mentally, but health problems, thinking the world is ending/doomed, obsessions with politics and all kinds of things… and they all sort of relate back to eachother and back to this issue of not being able to open up to joy and love and new ways of seeing the world.
Oh and one more thing I just thought of – look up the “counterclockwise study”. A harvard proffessor put some old people in a room filled with things that related to the time period from when they were in their prime and literally watched their health issues reverse!! Our minds and bodies are so related….
I’d argue that people know themselves better as they age. It’s not a lack of curiosity but a knowledge that I’m not going to enjoy that based on past experiences.
Yeah I’ve gone the opposite way. Entering my 30s I became less risk averse and more curious
It could either be your friends find your curiosities boring or that your friends are boring.
it is how it goes, you loose the connection with your inner child and then reconnect later in life
I learn new junk all the time. Admittedly, I have zero thoughts on philosophy and dropped the class three days in because I hated it… but I learn to do things and science stuff and all kinds of things… like daily. I go to metal shows and mosh. I go to clubs and dance. The older I get the more I just do what I want to do.
Maybe you just need some new friends? I had to get new friends… my friends didn’t want to do anything new, and that was back in our 20s before everyone was married or had kids… They were so boring. So, I got new friends by going out and doing what I wanted to do all by my lonesome.