Would this weird a girl out?

r/

So pretty much I’m going out with this girl on a first date this weekend. I’d say we have been talking for quite some time. The plan is to go for dinner. Obviously if the date is going well and we’re enjoying each other’s company I’d ask her to continue hanging out. Here’s the thing, assuming when dinner ends, most “activity spots” will be closed or closing. I do happen to be home alone this weekend would she be weirded out if I ask her to come over after? Would she think I’m only interested in a hookup? Another thing is if she is open to that idea my parents have a doorbell camera so I’d have to get her to come in through the back door or like basement entrance. Is something else she could potentially be weirded out with? For context I’m 25M and she is 29F (and she still lives at home too if that matters) looking for some thoughts and opinions!

Comments

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  2. Ratakoa Avatar

    Read the room. As in, see how the date goes. It may be a bit fast all the same.

  3. Time-Excitement-1317 Avatar

    Have something to do when you get back to yours if you want it to not look like you just want to hook up. Maybe avoid the basement entrance but if she agrees to going back then it’s not weird. You’re probably getting ahead of yourself here

  4. we_todd_ Avatar

    It will, most likely

  5. jnique_tamere Avatar

    Tell it to her like this:

    “It was nice hanging out at the restaurant, if you want we can go back over to my place where its quieter and have drinks there.”

    You let her decide and respect her decision. Don’t be pushy at all and be cool. 

    If she’s not down, end it with a kiss on the lips, and if youre both feeling it, french kiss.

    Then don’t text her right away, give her some time to cool off. Initiate second date, and ask her again.

  6. KyOatey Avatar

    You’re 25 years old and you can’t have a woman be seen coming into to your house?

  7. Babblingbutcher420 Avatar

    Honestly for the first date it’s too soon more often than not.
    However that’s not always the case. You do have to make that decision based off of how the date goes and how it wraps up.

    And if she does come back to your place you need a game plan. You don’t want to come off as pushy but you don’t want the house to seem like a hookup thing.
    I’m engaged to someone who loves video games so it was easy finding something we can do alone without being naughty

  8. phifedawg8 Avatar

    pushing 30 and y’all sneakin around man grow a pair

  9. GooseKiller64 Avatar

    Firstly see how the date goes anyway, and I don’t think it’s strange to go back to your place under the circumstances that everywhere else would be closed. I would phrase it like ‘we could go back to mine and have a few drinks’ or ‘we could go back to mine and watch a movie’ just make sure you add in what you will be doing in your house, so she doesn’t get the wrong idea or anything.

    But anyways good luck and I hope it all goes well!!

  10. 10percenttiddy Avatar

    Unfortunately, I think it entirely depends on the girl. Anyone who would dip just because you asked, though, might be a little…unforgiving and high maintenance? To be fair, that’s coming from a girl that would happily bang on the first date, so take it with a grain of salt.

  11. 69relative Avatar

    Bro ur 25 and ur asking reddit about this. U virgin

  12. rossxog Avatar

    Is she the type of girl your parents would be proud to see you with? Don’t bring her in the back. Your parents would be happy to see you with a girlfriend. Moving out to your own place etc.

  13. LowBalance4404 Avatar

    > I’m 25M and she is 29F 

    Yes, it’s weird you would have to sneak her in the back door.

  14. Sweetcornprincess Avatar

    Yes, it would weird me out. Go have a coffee or a drink somewhere.

  15. Cobey1 Avatar

    Grab drinks after dinner bro. No reason to invite her back asap if you like the chick. If you want a second date, go to a bar post-dinner or drop her off home. Let her invite YOU into her house. She would feel a lot safer than you asking her to your place. Plus you can leave her house compared to making her leave yours. It’s more gentleman-like

  16. Sudden_Badger_7663 Avatar

    Yes, yes and yes. Why are all you men in such a fucking rush? Calm down! Get to know someone and give them a chance to get to know you.

  17. celestier Avatar

    Why can’t she go in the front door?

  18. celestier Avatar

    Yes if she’s 30 years old she’ll probably be weirded out by not being allowed to be seen coming into the house 💀💀💀

  19. Longjumping-Wash-610 Avatar

    Why would your parents care? At this stage of your life they’ll probably be relieved.

  20. No_Mood1492 Avatar

    If it were me, and you’d asked me back to your place on the first date I’d probably assume you were looking for a hookup (even if you insist you aren’t.)

    Unfortunately I’ve had one too many experiences of guys asking me back to theirs insisting it was just to spend more time together getting to know each other, but once I’m in their place they start trying to have sex with me. At that point I fear for my safety if I say no.

    I’d feel weird having to use the back door because of your parents considering your age, and I’d wonder whether you have enough independence to be starting a relationship.

  21. Awesomeness4627 Avatar

    25 years old and sneaking a girl in 💀💀💀

  22. ProbablyImprudent Avatar

    I’d strongly advise to leave that for a second or third date. Focus on having an enjoyable date. If it goes amazingly well, then MAYBE invite her back. Think of it this way, you’re concerned about her thinking you’re only interested in sex. Being patient and waiting proves you aren’t. Worst case it just builds anticipation. There are two possibilities. She would say yes and has to anticipate another date or two or she would be uncomfortable and you end up wishing you hadn’t asked. Just chill and look forward to a second date. Let her have the initiative a little. She might bring up the idea herself.

  23. Practical_Ride_8344 Avatar

    First date goes wel oe bombs take her back home. Talk in the car. Be sure to bring a token of affection you know she would enjoy. Do not guess.

  24. maldistuta Avatar

    Don’t go for dinner on a first date. Take her to a bar. Sit at the bar. Have two drinks. See how it goes. If going well, continue drinking and ask if she wants something to eat. If you make it to a third drink, you’ll know what the right play will be.

  25. lilmuskrat66 Avatar

    Flip the breaker for the ring cam

  26. Far-Housing-6619 Avatar

    If most places are actually closing down then be sure to visit one and get turned down before you suggest going back to yours. That way it’s spontaneous.

  27. CS_NaCl Avatar

    I’d avoid going to the house honestly, so many connotations involved with going over to someone’s house, especially one you don’t own and sneaking around like high school.

    Just go for a walk or wait till the next date. Maybe make it an adventure to find something that’s open and if not just make plans for another date.

  28. DrunkMonkBusiness Avatar

    If you do invite her over, do not sneak her in. just walk in the front door. If you can’t do that, then dont invite her

  29. Advaita5358 Avatar

    If she’s not interested, so what? At least she’ll know you’re interested, and that’s a plus.

  30. lincolnhawk Avatar

    Bars have activities my dude, go grab drinks and a round of darts or whatever. I do not accept your assertion that activities may be closed after dinner. That is the prime time for grownup activities. Y’all 25 and 29, the world is your oyster.

    She lives at home too, so I’d assume she’s comfortable with the back door dynamics. It may be weird that the parents give any kinda fuck if you bring a lady over, that may be a yellow flag overall, but it is what it is.

    I’d rather you have a conversation with your folks that you’ve got a date and they do not have permission to be weird about it of your date comes over after and they see her on the doorcam. That’s the conversation that needs to happen, not prepping her to accept that you will never stand up to your folks for her. If that conversation is a problem, you’ve got your cart before your horse here. You’d need to move out to date comfortably.

  31. pluary Avatar

    Just unplug the router before you leave . . .

  32. Subject_Pilot682 Avatar

    If she’s up for going in the back door after a first date she might be a keeper