One moment I want to be a whore and get fudke by as many as possible( hot ones not everyone ) and next moment I want a monogamous relationship and cute kids. I don’t know what to do.
Edit: I am a gay/bi guy in mid 20s
How can I reconcile the part of me that craves sexual freedom and exploration with the part of me that longs for a committed, monogamous relationship and a loving family?
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Get you a man that’s freaky in the bedroom and maybe consider threesomes together or something?
Quite normal if you ask me, everyone does role plays in their life.
Healthy loving long term relationship. Or strictly FWB with boundaries for a while looking for someone who you want to date. I honestly don’t know but if you rind out please let me know
Fuck to your hearts content and settle down when you’re tired of it. Not that complicated.
These hoes aint loyal
you just have to accept that your dating Pool will be smaller. You can get all of that. Most men wouldnt date or commit to you.
Accept that. Be Open on first dates. tell them you are not monogamous and be honest.
And You eventually find the right person.
I think most people feel that way, and society has taught us it’s wrong… but I bet you’d have a better chance finding that guy while exploring that sexual freedom.
You can have both. May just take awhile to find the right partner.
My last girlfriend of 7 years slept with probably about 10 other guys during our time together. Sometimes 3 in a month. Sometimes years between other people.
We both were pretty experienced when we got together and realized that sex was only what you make of it.
Drop the monogamy bit. Seek a long term and committed polygamous dynamic.
Probably the former until you meet someone who makes you so dam excited that fucking them a whole bunch for a long while doesn’t feel like it would get boring.
Pick apart why you want both things,
So you want to be a slut but you want your partner to be monogamous?
Double standards much?
Is this just your own fears, insecurities and cultural programming?
Do these actually serve you?
I think the easiest option is group play with your commitment partner
With ethical non-monogamy you can have both. Try the polyamory sub
Spend some time exploring who you are now. Don’t go into a long term relationship feeling like you missed out on something. Leave no stone unturned, travel, have lots of fun and sex. You’ll know when you’re done. Then you’ll be a great partner for someone and a parent/grandparent with lots of stories of life adventures.
You can definitely have both but it’s going to take a lot of trust and communication. If you’re in a relationship and you want freedom you need to consider giving the same freedom to your partner. The only way it’s gonna work is if it’s equal.
One is for your 30s, one is for your 20s. You decide which is which, babe. 😘
Same way you reconcile not getting everything else in life just because you want it, that’s just growing up. Choose and own it
Stop being a child figure out what’s important for you in life and do that, don’t compromise.
I mean, you’re gay/bi… You can absolutely get away with doing both.
Thank goodness you can escape some of the heterosexual standards if you so choose. In my experience, purity culture isn’t much of a thing in the gay community, so you don’t have to be immediately looking to settle down until you find your person.
Well you cant have kids… sooo maybe stick to whoring
Marry someone as horny and freaky as you are!
ya idk man
monogamy is overrated and overforced
An essential question and paradox: How do we have perfect security and perfect freedom? This question will play out even in long-term monogamous relationships. The excitement and novelty of freedom are at odds with what is necessary to build the consistency of security.
But you’re not in a long-term monogamous relationship yet right? My advice would be to have all the sex you want, and transition into the LTR and monogamous family life once you mostly have that out of your system.
A generous serving of copium
Sit with what internally you are looking. Sex is not just a physical act, but a very mental one. What are you craving? Ask yourself that – and wait for the answer.
If you like self help books, check out the Ethical Slut.
Fuck everything that moves and settle down at 30
You can’t. You gotta choose one or the other.
It’s no different than anything else in life. You have to make choices about all sorts of stuff. Some things are simply not possible to do at the same time – or ever for that matter.
With that being said, I will recommend that you choose sexual freedom and exploration.
Why?
Because you want both. That means that there’s a very real risk of you choosing one, regretting it later, and then try to do the other. If that regret shows up when you have a family, you’ll blow up that family for some new dick. If you’re alone at 50 and regret your choices, at least it’ll only be one person who suffers.
Be poly, get both.
Swing.
OP is for the streets.
Maybe just have fantasies. You can’t get all you want and it’s more likely to cause regret long term if you say no to family for sex fantasies becoming reality
You go and have fun until you meet the right person.
I used to be so flirty when I was young. It always bothered my bfs and I didn’t care – thought they were being insecure because I never cheated / crossed the line. I sometimes wondered if I would ever be 100% happy with someone.
Then I met my husband and while we were dating one day he asked in the most calm voice “Do you think it’s appropriate for you to be flirting when you have a bf?” I don’t recall what I said or if I even answered but he also asked me if I would be ok if he was flirting like that. It caught me off guard, I know I didn’t push back but also didn’t quite agree.
Something switched in me that day, I was never flirty again and we are now married. Never wanted anyone else.
So it might just be that you haven’t found your person.
Sounds like you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship yet.
Pound that feeling down. Take solace in the fact you can fantasize and masturbate.
Whore it up when you’re young and hot then get married when you start to decline, like women do
Have you heard of the pineapple people? Maybe join them
If you are in your mid 20s, keep being a whore. My guess is that you’re just not ready yet.
You sound like you want to be a slut except when it would get you in trouble.
This is called your 20s. Enjoy.
Have both – be in an open relationship. (That means sex, NOT Polyamory.)
I can only share my experience.
I felt the same way as you at 20. But I also knew that I had a bunch of shit that I wanted to accomplish before settling down to marriage and kids, etc.
So I just made a conscious decision that my priorities for the next 10 years ~ would be school, friendships, stating I shape, building a career, and having as much consensual gratuitous sex as possible.
10 years passed. I still felt the same way but I was nearing a place of more stability and growth on the career side so I started looking at relationships from a long term perspective for the first time.
By 33 I was married and by 37 I had the kids.
I am really glad that I didn’t marry or have kids too young and I’m also really glad that I get to focus on my kids now. They are my entire world and it’s changed my perspective on everything.
I still miss the sexual freedom for sure. It’s frustrating sometimes. But a huge part of being an adult is making decisions. Don’t make a big one like this before you’re ready.
TLDR: You’re 20. Be a 20 year old. Adulting can wait.
You don’t really. One of those mindsets needs to die. There is such a thing as sexual freedom within a relationship, though. Once you are in a committed relationship, the thought of finding different/more partners becomes distasteful.
Open relationship