I just need to vent. I thought I’d kill myself by the time I was 14. I just knew that i would. Then I realised I’d fuck up my siblings life by doing that so there went that plan. I don’t really have any dreams…i just want to not be a failure but I neverhada any goals or any motivation to do anything (not using it as an excuse IS) . I didn’t even think about the future cuz I wasn’t supposed to have any.
But then I didn’t die…so I thought whatever happens happens. I got through high school without making any efforts (above average grades), I got into a good uni without studying (medicore college) and got through uni with a 7.5 average.
But I finally fucked up. I didn’t get into a Master’s programme. I just found out. I didn’t study…so I didn’t get in. Simple. My fault. And now idk what to do. I have to tell my parents..my siblings. I’m a failure and I’m not even a failure who tried and failed…i never try… So I either just live with my shame for the next year and try again or do another year in college…but either way I’m not getting into a Master’s programme. My mum was right…her kids are just medicore at best.
It’s okay tho…i knew this was coming. one day the no effort bullshit was gonna bite me in the ass. I’m just at a point where ik i won’t any efforts ever for anything. I’ve just given up and I’m just tired. I wasn’t supposed to be here this long…i hate it.
“TL;DR:” I didn’t do anything with my life and now it’s fucked. Tomorrow I face the music…wish me luck ig. (P.S I don’t know definitively if I’m not getting into a programme but my result is just shitty and unexpected even though my exam went really well. I was so happy when I was telling my mum about it…cuz it truly did go well. Idk what happened…idk what will happen now)
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You’re still barely an adult. Don’t rush if you don’t feel the drive you think you should. Take some time and live the life you have. Maybe it’ll give you some perspective.
Hey, I had an internet friend who killed himself, so I feel I owe the universe in stopping someone else from doing it.
If you want to chat, send a message. I’ll check in about an hour.
Hey, you’re not a failure at all. Making it through uni with good grades is absolutely not failure. Maybe the master’s degree isn’t going to plan for now and you might have to change work methods and try again, or move on to something else. And that’s ok. I get that it’ll suck now, but from the sounds of it you’re still young and must have a hell of a memory to never have to study. You’ve got plenty of time to figure out what you want to do.
Look after yourself, sending love 🙂
As someone who completly flunked regular college but eventually went to a easier school for an easier degree… Sounds like you did a lot with barely any effort lol. I’d say you’re better off failing with no effort than if you gave your all, at least you know that if you do try you can do what you want to. After I failed my first year mind you everyone in my family basically looked down on me as a dumb loser. Lasted years until recently I finally got some traction with my business and an making more in 6 months than anyone in my family makes in a year. What in doing now doesn’t require a degree either. Idk what you went to school for but there’s plenty of opportunities with a 4 year degree and even with none. Just gotta get crafty and look at it this way, you weren’t supposed to be here so why not just go for it and see what you can really do with some effort. I was the same way never tried but now that I see I can get somewhere I’m finally committing myself to something. Also try mountain biking or something the outdoors heal⛰️
I’m sorry that this has hit you hard. I don’t believe that this classifies you as a failure in their eyes.
Accept where you’re at and keep working on your education and/or career field of choice. I wish you success.