Final year PhD here, currently writing. My partner finished their PhD a year ish ago and is doing a postdoc at the moment. We are long distance, but both in Europe so we see each other regularly and the time difference isn’t so bad.
My hope is to get back home to Canada after the PhD, I have some potential jobs there and my family is there. My partner is willing to follow but they want to be a PI so the chance to open a lab is the top priority.
I just had a full breakdown last night instead of sleeping when I realized that the odds of us actually living in the same spot are getting slimmer and slimmer. The academic job market in Canada is a joke (I am going for industry as a result). I don’t want to enter the states right now. And while I’d consider staying in Europe, I don’t have the same connections and my own career would do much better in Canada.
My partner says we both need to do the best move for our careers and we’ll see how it goes, but the truth is that while we work incredibly when we are together day to day, we are just ok as a long distance relationship. I don’t know if I can mentally take more long distance, especially transatlantic, but idea of walking away from each other over career feels sickening. I thought I’d marry them.
Has anyone beaten this?