One of my friends has been married for ten years and has a five-year-old daughter. She and her husband always seemed like a cute couple who shared hobbies and had a good life together. Her husband always appeared to be a very nice guy — he does everything for her and spends a lot of time with their child.
When I first met her, they both didn’t want children; in fact, my friend often bragged about how much she disliked kids. But one day, seemingly out of nowhere, she decided that she wanted to become a mother. Her husband wasn’t very enthusiastic about the decision initially, but she eventually convinced him.
She gained a lot of weight during the pregnancy and continued to gain more over the years, and now she is very obese.
Then, last September, we met up, and she told me that her husband had confessed to her that he no longer found her attractive because of the weight gain. He said that he still loved her but didn’t want to have sex with her anymore.
I responded by saying that I thought it was fair for him to be honest with her and that, based on what she had always told me, he seemed like a good husband otherwise. She got very upset with me and left without saying a word. I eventually apologized.
Since then, we’ve met a few times, and unfortunately, I’ve noticed that she talks very negatively about her husband and men in general. She often says things like, “There are no good men,” and that women need to unite against men because we are so oppressed. She’s also started posting very radical and extreme content on social media, which is quite unsettling.
To be honest, I think she’s overdoing it, and it’s starting to irritate me. I’m in a healthy relationship myself, and I don’t see her husband as oppressive in any way. Before, we could talk about interesting things and our hobbies, but she’s becoming increasingly bitter.
However, I’m sure that if I say anything, she won’t listen, or it might end our friendship. I also don’t want her marriage to fall apart. What can I do?
Comments
She’s blaming other people for her own issues instead of taking responsibility. Remove the toxic person from your life and don’t let her drama take up real estate in your head.
Suggest she go for therapy. I would try saying to her that if you were in her situation, you would go for therapy and hope that a good friend would suggest it to you.
She may not take it well. My hope is she goes home and thinks it over and does not just blame.
Yea distance yourself from that. If anything she might even try to break your relationship up. She needs help in my opinion
If you think that speaking out honestly and respectfully about anything at all might end your friendship, then just end the friendship. You don’t feel safe to speak your mind. It’s not really a friendship at all, it’s you having to be what she wants you to be.
She’s looking for someone else to blame because she doesn’t want to admit she’s just a fat-ass.
She better fix herself before putting it on others, like you or her husband.
Be a nicer person
Recommend therapy. She lacks motivation to change and she is projecting those feelings into her relationships.
AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI?
YOU can’t do anything except live your best life. Kind of feel bad for her hubby and kid – if this is actually real, of course.
you like big words do you?
As a former obese person she’s very insecure and maybe now is finally realizing how bad it’s gotten and she’s projecting. I wish my boyfriend at the time would have said something it would been a reality check for me. He didn’t he kept telling me I was beautiful and he loved me no matter what…
Guess what happened I got more complacent with being obese and I gained more. Tell her marriage raising a child is very hard and you worry about the weight gain and the personality change. Speak of it from a health perspective that you as her friend worry that something else could be going on. We know it’s her causing her to gain weight but even say perhaps you need your thyroid checked, you worry for her mental health. Maybe that will get her at least thinking
You should tell her you worry about her healthy you worry about her marriage and you worry about her daughter.
You’ve said your piece. You can do no more to help.
Increase your distance for now.
Things will change. In one way or another.
Have you ever even liked her? Doesn’t sound like it.
Tell her she’s a horrible person and you’re sick of her
She wants her cake and to be eaten, too.
Talk it out with her and if it don’t work out that’s life unfortunately but sometimes people get set in their ways good luck
Drop the friendship if it’s too stressful for you. Don’t apologize