If you fight a lot in your relationship – let’s say a heated argument (either lasting either a couple hours or some tense hurtful things said) every couple weeks, and some less serious bickering and everyday conflicts in between – what’s the secret to staying happy in your relationship? Is it that the bickering/fights add some fire and you both know that the other person doesn’t mean it because you love each other? Does a lot of love/affection balance things out? Is it that there’s no criticism? Are there apologies and resolution/repairs afterwards?
Also, how does the dynamic change or affect things once you have children and start a family?
I’m a guy who is in a relationship a bit like this, and I’m curious how it will work long term and what it might look like in marriage. I generally am calmer/reflective and like peace, my gf in quicker to react and grew up in a fight-y household and culture. I think a lot of focus these days is on high EQ, therapy-style discussions – I’m eager to get the thoughts/advice of slightly older people who have experienced more life/relationships, cultures, and time periods.
Just to paint a picture… we do both do show each other a lot of affection (cuddling, gifts, joking around etc.) as well, so, even though the fights build up negative feelings and do detract significantly, most days are positive and fun overall. I worry, though, about this not being the case when life gets more real (kids, family, big decisions etc.).
tl;dr – How do people who fight a lot in their relationships/marriages have happy and successful ones?