I am 19m. My life is over.
I have no friends, no one likes me. Not even my close family. I have never achieved anything. I have not even made anyone smile in my whole life. I have never done anything meaningful. Nothing has ever been fun or interesting to me.
Nothing will come of my life. It’s too late now. Anyone who has ever been good at anything started way younger than I am now.
I am worthless. The only thing I hope for, is that someone takes mercy and kills me because I’m too much of a coward to do it myself.
Please god, let me die.
Comments
You’re 19, not 100. You have years to focus on something super niche, get yourself a job, work on yourself and make friends. Life isn’t over because no one has ever laughed at a joke you’ve made. It’s never over.
Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough. Im 2 years younger and im also feeling uncomfortable in my current reality, but i also know that exactly this will time will lead to a future, where i will look back and say all this was worth it!
the second best time to start something is now, right??
I’m 19f, and I completely understand what you are going through. There is nothing I or anyone else can say that can change your mind but I’ve learnt that things don’t just become better, YOU have to be the one who decides that you want to be better and better doesn’t mean that tomorrow you’re going to have a morning routine, a healthy diet and volunteer every weekend. It’s more in your head than anything else (this comes from someone who lives in her head). Wanting and trying to be better is one of the hardest things you’ll ever experience, especially when a big part of you just wants to die. If you need someone to talk to, you can dm me, and I hope that one day you might be able to peace regardless of where it comes from
I got really worried when I saw your post. I thought you were my brother. I read through your account. While you two are not the same person, you may as well be. Your life is not over. It has never, ever been. You and I were in the same spot. I lost my late teens to anorexia, I lost a lot to a whole lot of other things. Lying to you and saying it all magically gets better wouldn’t fix things, but I can tell you that time can change a lot.
Im still depressed, I still have trouble enjoying stuff, but the suffering part has faded. Recover and see the world through new eyes. There are so many people like you. Im 22 now. It isn’t all better, but my life is worth living. Give yourself more chances, find hobbies other than the numbers you surround yourself. Calories, pounds, and the rest will never ever fix the hole inside of you. Putting all your energy in to starving is not the way out.
Give yourself some grace, the world is young, and you are too.
You are 19, your life has just started, and trust me, it’s not abnormal at all to be lost in your younger days. I can hand you over a map that leads you to self realization and virtue, whether you follow this map or not is your choice of course. Start by working on your state of mind, since that will be the origin of all good or evil in your future life. Integrate practices that lead you to self awareness and introspection. Meditation. Awareness is key. Hit the gym. You have the power to turn your situation by 180 degrees. Your brain is not even developed yet, that will happen by the age 25. Imagine what you can achieve in 6 years if you consistently practice meditation and hit the gym regularly. I promise you, if you stick to just those two practices, by the time you hit 25 years, you will not recognize yourself.
Ur in luck, research monastery’s, save up enough money to get to the one of your choosing, dedicate the rest of your life there and not have to worry about being good at anything or money ever again 🙂
You’re 19 years old! Your life has just started!!!!
Obligatory: dial 988 to get support right now. You can call them any time and they will get you mental health support.
You sound depressed and it is really really hard to get going when you’re depressed. You have no idea how young you are and how many people wish they could go back to being 19 to fix their lives. Your life has really just started!
I highly suggest calling that hotline above (988) to get directed to some support. They are there to help. If you think you meet the criteria for clinical depression, you can get some help from a doctor, as well.
The point of meds is to help you get back up on your feet and challenge those thoughts. And you dont have to be on them forever. You can literally change your life by simply challenging those thoughts. The very fact that me and all these other people are writing to you PROVES you arent worthless because we care and we don’t even have to knkw you to do so!
Imagine if a little sibling or cousin wrote your message. What would you say to them? Would you tell them they should just die?
Feelings are temporary. Find things to keep yourself busy that make you feel even a little better, even if you dont feel like it. Set a timer for 30 seconds doing those things so at least you can say you did 30 seconds. And who knows, maybe that 30 seconds will become a few minutes and so on and so forth.
You can do this and we ALL believe in you!
edit: highly recommend reading feeling good by David Burns or checking out therapy in a nutshell on youtube: https://youtu.be/uq2C8us969M?si=oX2719QooPPpj-KP
Everyone suffer from bad times, sometimes in early age sometimes when they get older. This is the time when you are feeling low and worthless but your time will come for sure. Just do what you are doing right now you must be a student so study gain knowledge, try to know the world, just carry on, Right now just by going on will do the work and make things work for you. About people around you, I myself is suffering from these things and came to a conclusion that make friends, talk to people around you but make some boundries for yourself like how much to expect from them, most people out there don’t really care about you, You are just a gossip for them so try to make yourself happy by doing things that makes you happy and Wait for your time, it will definitely come.
Here is a picture I want you to imagine. The top picture has a dart board with assorted darts covering it. Some hit the bullseye and some do not even touch it and are on the wall. It’s all scattered.
The bottom photo is of darts laying on the table.
Which is failure? The bottom photo.
You are not a failure, you are young and have time. Life is hard and that is a challenging age. Pick up the metaphorical darts and start throwing. You’ll be surprised where they land.
It’ll take time, but believe in yourself. We do. You got this.
It’s quite early to throw in the towel.
Maybe instead of focusing on what you’re good at work on what makes you happy and go from there. Spend time doing it.
I’m 20yo nd honestly man after reading this it really felt bad. I moved to BLR almost 2.5 yrs ago, i live ina good appartment whose rent is paid by my parents. I’m in college rn. I got a beautiful girlfriend. I go clubbing every weekend. Life seems good right? But honestly it isn’t! After my first yr in college I got so much of backlog I had to repeat a whole yr. Later I just wasted myself nd didn’t take things srsly nd got another year back coz of which I have to leave my degree in between. My parents don’t know a shit bout it. Every time it’s the nightmares cause of which I wake up. I donna wtf should I do. It feels like I’m chocking on something when I see my roommate leave for college. I get you man! Not exactly but I have been in shit too. Recently few days ago i told my parents everything. They were devasted. But now I’m doing another degree. Got lucky when my frnd offered me a internship in his company. Things are getting better. Nd ik they’ll for you too. So just be positive nd keep goin. Have patience. There is a lot in life to see.
As someone who tried to k*ll myself at 19, trust me I’ve been there. But it WILL get better. That isn’t just something people say, it’s a fact. Whatever you are feeling now, will get better at some point. It just takes time and the willingness to believe that you CAN get better.
Think about how much time has passed in your life.
You likely have another 3x that amount of time. It’s easy to think we know what the future will look like, but it’s truly amazing what time can do.
Be easy on yourself. You’re the only person guaranteed to stick around for yourself for life. So, gotta learn to love yourself.
so much can change in such little time. take care of yourself. get good rest and good food and you’ll have the energy to handle all of life’s problems.
task of the day: get a good meal and 9 hours because something tells me you haven’t slept good in a while but maybe that’s just me projecting how I get when I feel that way.
join the army
You need to learn to love and respect and work on you, or you will never be fit to love someone else. Focus on you King. Get your gains. Network. Meet new people. Get a job. Get a new job. Life has its ups and downs. It’s about how you take it. And shape yourself to be the man you want to be. Don’t let your head give you excuses
Become a mechanic my guy it’ll all make sense.
You sound like me, except I’m a bum (at least according to my parents) who relies on disability benefits, I’m 27 soon to be 28 and only have my highschool (which I’m fortunate to even have that, since I was a highschool dropout but went back later to upgrade) with no prospects right now. The thing you have on ur side is time. A lot can change in 10 years. 5 years. Heck, even in one year a lot can change. Ur still a baby caterpillar, or not even that, a larvae, and you are only recently hatched into a caterpillar. You have so many changes still to go through to get from where u are today to who u will be in the future. The caterpillar doesn’t just grow into a butterfly, it’s a process that takes time. And the good news? You still have time, I know it may not feel like it but really, you’ve got nothing BUT time. Now that ur an adult, you aren’t chained to ur parents and what they do so u can get a job that at least pays the bills and start to explore who u are as a person. To get to where u want to be, u first need to start where u are, and use what u have, to get where u want to go which may or may not change along the way (sorry for the crude metamorphosis reference).
Sorry you’re depressed. But this defeatist, self-hating attitude is not going to help in any way. If you want to make something of yourself, start taking small steps. Like exercise a few times a week. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new.