my body my soul feels like its filled with this utter emptiness that just hurts like nothing else ever since i can Rember empty at the core , its so fucking painful, i have an eating problem since i was a kid i always thought food could fill that empty hole even if its for a moment its worth it , that’s what rung in my head cus i dont trust people to help with the deep emptiness that resides within me, my step mom she said she would never leave and i i dont know why the fuck i did this but i put my trust in her and she abandned me she left me alone at my worst all alone , i don’t like people they always do this , its so painful it fucking hurts I’m left on read its been 3 days, i think she wants me dead, im too much i swear, that why my step mom left me cus im too much, i dont want anyone near me anymore, so why the fuck to i fixate on every word and every movement of every muscle? , just why , its so painful my mother , she depended on me treated me like i was all she had, and now i cant fucking breath there’s this wright its chocking me, fucking hell man fuck it hurts they all leave, cus its too much , my dad he means well hes a sweet heart i think im going to cry , why did i have to be so shit ? i couldn’t i just be decent , i dont get anything , i mean people just say shit and they never mean it right cus i mean my therapist told me she would never leave me but guess when was the last time i went to therapy more then 5 months probably i have a crap since of time i trust everyone too fast i hate it , id put it all on the line for someone i met a day ago cus i thought they were nice , it makes me feel so fucking stupid like dude you know better so act like it but i never fucking do, i just feel sad its a goofy word but that how it be imma go clean up my shit and draw some comics cus that shit is cool as fuck i really just want a smoke and some coffee thats all i dont want hugs from anyone anymore nor do i want anyone anymore i just want cigs and some caffine thats all it makes me feel so calm im 16 though it hurts man why did she have to leave like that?
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