In need of advice. I’ve been dating her for a year, partly long distance. Every time we’ve been together we have sex, like a normal couple. Then yesterday out of the blue she sat me down and told me that “she thinks that sex is sacred and if I would consider not being intimate with her until marriage”. This completely blindsided me, I’ve spent the last year with her and giving her all my love, we even have a trip planned to Sicily in August which is now in question. I honestly do not know what to do. I love her dearly, but intimacy is a huge part of any relationship for me. I also don’t want to even think about marriage until I’m at least 30, and am not sure about having kids. If she had told me this when we were first dating, I would not have wasted all this time on her. She says that she’s still thinking it over, but it seems like she’s pretty dead set on it. It’s so painful, I think I know what I have to do but just looking for some outside advice on the situation. Also, I’m not sure that many men would want to wait till marriage to have sex, especially if the woman is not a virgin. It sucks, I just graduated college and spent my birthday with her, all was seemingly great. Wish she’d told me this before I spent 1600 on flights to Italy.
My (24M) girlfriend (24f) says she is thinking about wanting to be celibate till marriage. What are your thoughts?
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I wonder what led her to wanting to be celibate. Did you ask her?
If sex is something you need in a a relationship even before marriage and it’s something she doesn’t need, then the relationship probably will not work out. Unfortunately.
Tell her “too late” .
You already had sex
No offense, but from what you’ve said, it kinda sounds like you only want a relationship with her if she provides sex. Did I misunderstand?
Go find a woman that doesn’t care about sex before marriage. There’s actually tons of guys that are ok waiting for marriage. Her being a virgin or not doesn’t really matter. Let her go find the right guy for her and you can find the right woman for you. Super icky of you to categorize women by their virginity btw. Might want to keep those thoughts as inside thoughts
Saying this without knowing you as a couple but my theory is that she is worried you are not serious about your commitment to her and that you may be just using her. So she is potentially using this to pressures you to commit to marriage.
It is her body but I don’t understand her thinking at all myself. Sounds like she may be feeling second thoughts about a religious belief or parents pushing her to get married and trying to force it. But the way you discuss her like I would not have wasted all this time on her, or Wish she’d told me this before I spent 1,600 on flights to Italy. Doesn’t sound like you LIKE her that much. You may love her but not sure you like her. Think through things and if only loving her let her go.
Stop is the operative word.
This is so weird … So you both had sex many times already and yesterday she wants to be celebate until you MARRY HER, then you can continue having sex again??? … Isn’t that like using sex as leverage to get you to marry her?
If you WANT sex that much, then just marry her already 👍
You need to talk more. Like what is her line of thinking,? when does she want to get married? Does she want kids? If your answers don’t match up, you guys aren’t really compatible.