He says he has struggled with this ever since he could remember but that’s not who he is it wants to be. I believe he is in the closet and I’m just a cover at this point. I have been crying eyes out all day and night and he sleeps perfectly fine. He says he loves me and don’t want me to leave but I think it’s too late for us. He’s clearly suppressing his feelings and I don’t even know if he’s been with a man before. He says he hasn’t and he doesn’t see himself with a man but clearly he gets off on it and I just feel lied to. My head is all over the place and I’m not even sure what I’m posting this for. I don’t have a question.
I caught my bf of a year a half watching gay porn
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He’s either gay or bi, sounds closeted gay, either way he’s probably going to want to experience men at least a few times before settling down.
Did he admit his struggles today, or did you know previously?
You need to break up with him in a supportive way, if he can’t admit he’s bi, because he is at least bi. Well you don’t need to do anything, but I’m sure you still love this man, and despite him betraying you and the heartache, it would be kindest if you can find it in your heart to do it in a supportive “go discover yourself” kind of way. A fiery break up might just push him further into the closet even if you are within your rights.
He NEEDS to let you know if he’s gay or bi because he is one. You need to know that if you guys have any chance or so at least you can know there’s no point staying.
What country yall in? I struggle to imagine any guy would need a beard in the developed world in 2025 there gay rugby and American football players, gay farmers, gay combat sports people. Like what he hiding from?
Some men are secretly bisexual for a really long time. I wouldn’t take it personally. He probably still loves you and is attracted to you. Otherwise he wouldn’t be with you.
Edit:
Personally I resonate with your bf. I usually end up in long term relationships with women, and prefer it that way tbh. It’s not always 50/50 attraction for people who are bisexual. Human romance and sexuality isn’t black and white.
Maybe he’s not 100% gay. Maybe he’s bi, meaning he still has physical attraction for you.
Assuming this is true, couldn’t things still work out for you two?
I’m really sorry you found yourself in this situation, I can imagine it’s extremely difficult for you, I knew a woman who went through the exact same thing.
He sounds to me like he is in denial perhaps he thinks it makes him less of a man to feel the way he does but clearly he has something going on there, he may be bi, and has something that he will likely try to explore at some point, if your in a monogamous relationship then it might be time to move on, he shouldn’t be watching any adult entertainment if he is in a relationship is my view, since those feelings of intimacy are ment to be shared with your partner not a screen.
Let me guess. You’re at THE OLDEST 19 years old? Because you sound like a child. Is he attracted to you? Does he bone you and like how you look?
Yes? Then he’s not gay. He’s bisexual or something else. Way to shame him and be a weird sex-negative jerk about it.
No? Then yes, he’s gay. Why have you been dating a dude who isn’t attracted to you for a year and a half. That’s 100% on you.
Leave. Leave and let him figure his life out. This isn’t your burden.
is he addicted to porn?
What, straight girls watch lesbian porn all the time doesn’t make them a full on lesbian. You can’t assume his sexuality because of the porn he watches. People watch a bunch of different things cause of the “taboo” feeling. Even if he’s not 100% straight there’s bisexual and other sexuality too. Like would you feel the same way if he was watching lesbian porn or straight porn? What about BDSM?
Time to accept or reject/regret this relationship. It means he is interested, curious and exploring other things. YOU have a choice rn to…run, accept, deny..or become involved in another way you may have not conceptualized. I am polyamorous. Been upfront and honest with my partners, it has been amazing.