So, for context, a friend (he left my school a couple of years ago) gave it to me as a joke. I (15M) used it last night so I could fall asleep easier, accidentally left it on the nightstand, and my mother found it, She will interrogate me tonight after I return from school. I know I should take responsibility, but other than that I don’t know what to do. Please help, I’m genuinely scared.
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What gives you the idea that she will have such a negative reaction?
She knows what it’s for. Why would she bring it up? I’m a mom of a 16 year old. I wouldn’t.
“I was wacking off, Mom, I’m a 15 year old, it’s what we do… do you really want details? orrrr?”
Sorry, 42 year old me’s just laughing at this…
“Take responsibility” for what dude? You didn’t do anything wrong.
imo (22M) if she really finds an issue with it, it would more so point to her having some personality/psychological issues. you’re well beyond the age that ppl start to experiment. idk what kind of religion or lifestyle you/your family follow but tripping on you for something relatively natural like that is kind of weird. if i were you i’d just denouce it as sincerely as you can manage to and keep it in an opaque container in ur schoolbag from now on.
This is one of those things where sure it’s embarrassing but you just gotta get out in front of it, don’t play games or try to lie cause honestly she’s probably not gonna freak out.
I’m sure no one wants to imagine their child doing that but it’s a part of life so I’m sure she’s not gonna come down on you.
She’ll most likely just let it slide and won’t talk to you about it if you’re honest.
I have 3 teenagers, a son and 2 daughters. Without snooping, I’ve found things. It happens, I move on, haven’t mentioned it. It’s natural, no biggie. Hormones are going wild in teens.
If your mom says anything, say, “Sorry mom, I’ll try not to leave it out again”, but other than that, there’s not much she can expect. Hang in there.
“WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS?!?”
So I don’t chafe while I do the thing every teenager is doing. Please respect the privacy of my room.
It’s not really a big deal. It’s just lubricant. It’s taboo because you’re at that awkward age between kid and adult, and your mom might make a big deal because she wants you to stay an innocent kid for longer, but you’re transitioning into an adult so there’s nothing actually wrong with it.
Most moms don’t want to embarrass their kids over this kind of thing, so she might not say anything. If anything, a good mom might sit you down for an awkward talk about safe sex because she’s concerned about your safety as you explore more adult things.
If your mom does overreact, try to have compassion for her because her overreaction will be more about her own hang ups, insecurities, and fears than about you. (Although, it’s probably best not to call her out on that! If she’s not ready for you to grow up, she definitely won’t be ready for you to be challenging her on her issues.)
Masturbation is normal, everyone does it. I’m assuming boys going through puberty do it a lot more than others, your mom should know that. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s natural. No need to apologize, explain, or feel guilty
It’s weird if she asks you about this but if she does, gently say “Look, I’m embarrassed, and I don’t want to talk about it, but this will never happen again.”
If she says anything, thats a little weird on HER part. YOU did nothing wrong.
My dad caught me once, he just walked out, and we never ever discussed it. Thats how it should be.
While I’m sure you’re embarrassed, this is a long way from a royal screw up. Dad of teens here. There are two types of people in the world. Those who masturbate and those who lie and say they don’t. Don’t give it another thought.
Sweetheart, you’re only 15 years old and I know this seems like a big deal but trust me, it really isn’t. Your mum will be well aware that you are wanking at your age, she’s not as daft as you think she is!
So go home, don’t say anything unless she does, which I highly doubt she will, and just act normally. If she does say something then just shrug it off, it’s perfectly natural and harmless and nothing to be ashamed of.
Mom here. This is no different than if you used lotion. She may ask about it with the assumption you were intimate with someone else in your bedroom. Prepare to answer by saying, “I feel super uncomfortable discussing this. I used it alone. I didn’t have anyone over or anything like that. I’d rather not discuss it if you don’t mind. I’ll be better at putting that away going forward.” If your mom isn’t a nutjob, that should be enough.
If your mom brings it up, you could try “Why do YOU think?” Or, make up the most disgusting, foul, story you can imagine.
Either way, don’t lie. OK, I did suggest a lie. Because your mom will catch you in the lie. And keep in mind that is likely as embarrassed as you are.
Did she take it? If so, waltz into the kitchen and say, “Mom, my lube is missing. Could you pick some more up when you go shopping? Brand doesn’t matter as long as it’s water-based.”
Just be honest, she’ll learn to not ask questions she doesn’t want the answer to.
I’m a mom of a 12 year old. If you were my kid, my main concern would be if you were having sex with a partner. If you were, I’d probably discuss safe sex with you, and maybe a bit about consent. But you’re not.
Do clean up after yourself. Don’t leave anything smelly around. That’s just gross. Make sure that anything you use for cleanup is washable or disposable. If it’s washable, make sure it gets washed before too long. Don’t flush anything that isn’t intended to be flushed (like condoms or baby wipes- even most “flushable” wipes aren’t great for the plumbing).
Interrogate you? Because you masturbated? That’s insane.
“Mom, I’m fifteen years old. What do you think lube is for? I was having a wank and forgot to put it away before I fell asleep.”
I was snarky and always down to get grounded for my mouth. So adding “maybe if the fact that I act fifteen is difficult for you, you should afford me a normal amount of privacy and stay out of my room in the morning” would probably have been on the table for me. But again, I’d have done so knowing full well my ass was getting grounded for mouthing off. Use snark at your own risk.
Don’t apologize! However, I’d appreciate knowing as a mother that you’re being safe, responsible, and respectful of your sexual partners, and most importantly, yourself.
Give yourself a break, you’re only 15 for like a year or so lol
You did what normal humans have done since the beginning of time
“Oh, that was a gag gift from a friend. Can you buy me some better lube next time you’re at the store so I can MASTURBATE BETTER!?”
That ought to end that conversation.
Never be ashamed of your sexuality. If she approaches you about this, there is something off about her parenting judgement. You can tell her that if she insists on a conversation.
It smooths out the frizzies in your hair
You did nothing wrong. There’s no shame in any of that!
I certainly hope she doesn’t give you shit for it. Most moms know their sons are gonna do that.
Unless you live in a particularly religious household that is against masturbation I’d be surprised if your mother says anything, maybe a vague reference to putting things away when done with them. If you haven’t had the birds and the bees talk you might get that as she may be concerned you’re having sex at 15.
“Mom, I’m 15. We both know why i used that. Let’s not make things weird. “
If my kid wasn’t masturbating I’d worry there was something wrong with their health.
A point blank “I was jerking off mom” will more than likely just shut her up. Just be blunt. You didn’t do anything wrong & she knows what you’re using it for.
You’re not doing ANYTHING wrong. Your bluntness will make her uncomfortable & she will more than likely leave the subject alone from then on.
Is your family really anti masturbation? You’re doing something completely normal and natural. My concern as a parent would be where the lube came from and who you could possibly be using it with. At 15, it’s not a common product to own, and I would be concerned it had been given to you by someone significantly older.
If her concern is about you masturbating rather than your safety, then she’s the problem. Not you. You’re just being normal human. You didn’t do anything wrong.
“Mum, this is the hardest hand cream to rub in, like ever”
…interrogate you about what? what an awkward thing for a mother to want to say to her son. she should have kept it to herself and moved on. obviously teenage boys do these types of things
Masturbation is normal and natural. Youre 15. Breathe in. Breathe out. Youve done nothing wrong. If shes weird about it, thats on her.
Make sure to use a coaster. There’s always a bit of residue
I feel like we’re missing some details here my guy, Is your mother very religious?
Are you just embarrassed that she caught you cranking one out?
Tell her your friends recommended it for underwear chafing.
>I know I should take responsibility
Seems to me that you already did!
That’s a normal thing. If she says something to you, you can simply say that you’ve learned at school that masturbation is a normal and healthy way to deal with the urges that could otherwise result in getting someone pregnant.
Don’t talk about the things that you feel are private and personal. It’s not illegal or harmful. Draw a hard line on talking about details. It may frustrate her and you may get punished, but it will not last forever.
Adding: This is not a screw up…at 15 you are entitled to privacy for personal things, but be more careful to keep private things safe if you are in a household with difficult parents.
You did nothing wrong, masturbating in healthy moderation is very normal and nothing to be shamed for. It’s extremely weird and probably abusive for parents to act otherwise.
I have a 15M at home, and I have no desire to think about him whacking off. I sincerely doubt she’ll say anything, but if she does, just look her dead in the eye and say “I was masturbating mother, don’t worry”, just to reassure her you weren’t with a lady. Or man.
You’ve reminded me of an excruciatingly embarrassing time I stayed in Hong Kong with a girlfriend. We’d been travelling around for a few days and finally got to her friends’ apartment. We would sleep on their sofas overnight before moving on to a place of our own. They headed out for the evening when we arrived so we could have some peace and fall asleep.
We were young and horny and decided we’d jump into their bed. No, they didn’t come back and disturb us thank god, but the next day as we were packing to leave my gf said “where did you put the condoms?” And we both realised at the same time, they were on our hosts bedside table… they could not have missed them, but there they were in the crumpled broken box.
The shame.
Scared of what? You did nothing wrong.
Some people use it as hair gel (seriously—especially curly hair)
I’m hoping she’s actually just going to do the parent thing, which is give you a birds and bees talk. There is no reason to lecture or interrogate. She probably just wants to know if you’re having sex, and if so are you being safe.
That’s what my concern would be as a mom of a 15 year old myself.
If she brings it up, a) that’s weird and b) just tell her you masturbate.
Maybe the straightforward response and awkwardness will teach her to not ask questions she knows the answers to.
It’s ok to masturbate. As long as you’re doing it appropriately (not in public, not at the window…you get the drift). It’s a part of growing up and a part of life.
I’m sorry you’re stressing this.
Remember, when you start having sex, always wear a condom. For pregnancy & disease prevention. No condom = no sex. Even if she says she’s on birth control. Not even once. Be smart and safe.
When she asks you say “I was having trouble sleeping so I used it to masturbate.
If your mum is peri or menopausal, she might actually congratulate you on that product, and have a conversation to state that when you do have a partner, it can increase the enjoyment for both of you to come prepared to the table!
I understand the mortification, but honestly it’s no big deal.
If it’s a hyper religious household, she probably hasn’t had much “say” in how sex goes, and will be secretly proud!
I agree with most of these commenters. I’m Gen X about to say these things, so it’s not like I’m also a teen. I’ll add that it’s off-putting and frankly creepy that she was even in your room at your age. Is her just moseying on into your room- especially when you’re not there- a normal occurrence? That’s not normal. And if it’s to do your laundry or clean your room, you’re old enough to do those things for yourself, so do those things and tell her that she really needs to back off and start giving you the privacy you deserve. She should be knocking before she comes in, too, at your age.
I just want to say that it’s developmentally appropriate to explore like that. Despite whatever your mom says, don’t let people begin to make you feel shame for it. This is where unhealthy habits and behaviors can start. If anything, I hope she doesn’t say anything. It’s natural as a teenager to explore yourself and your sexual side. We are sexual beings by nature. As long as you’re not offending anyone or hurting anyone, go at it man.
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Did she say she would interrogate you? Why is she interrogating you?
Bro sex and waking of is normal as eating and pooping. Lmao relax
“It’s the only thing that really works for the dry skin on my feet”
The only thing you should be asking is why are you going through my room
Y’all need lube to jerk off?
Do you really think she’ll confront you? Is this a religious thing? Because most men understand that at your age we were in a very intense relationship with Rosie Palm. Most moms know this too. Unless you’re not cleaning up after yourself, she’ll likely pretend it never happened.
One time my mom tried to give grief about grabbing some of the food while they were getting dinner ready for a family reunion. Told me to get my dirty hands out of there because she knew what I did with that hand. Without thinking, I calmly reminded her that I use the other hand as I am a leftie. It’s all good my dude. 75% of boys masturbate and 24% lie about it.
I had three teenage sons (all grown now).
If I had found lube on one of their bed tables, I would have known what it was for, and I would have kept my mouth shut, because what would I have said?
“Hey son, I see you’ve been pulling your pud! You’re gonna grow hair on your palms if you keep that up! And you’ll go to Hell!”
If I HAD mentioned it, at least one of my kids would have been like “Yeah, I use the lube to make my hand simulate a vagina. Is that enough info for you or do you want me to measure how much spooge comes out, too?”
So yeah, I bet your mom won’t even mention it. She’s probably as embarassed as you are.
Mom, at least I’m not getting anyone pregnant.
It’s possible that she may have concerns that you’re not using it for masturbation but instead sex, if you and your mom (or another parent) haven’t had the sex talk, it’s possible she may want to indulge you with advice about safe sex / using condoms etc. Other than that reason, I can’t understand what else she would want to talk about. It’s pretty self-explanatory for the most part.
To provide you with some comical relief, I used to work night shifts around the time I was 18 still living at home. One night I got off at six in the morning, took a shower and decided I wanted to relax, by using my 8inch pink suction cup dildo. 🤦🏼♀️ I finished up, got out of the shower and got dressed. Just as I was drifting off to sleep I got a text message from my mom saying that I had left some “personal items” (quoted included in her text) in the bathroom and asked if I could please remove them and be more careful of where I leave my belongings.
It’s pretty funny looking back at it now, but I was mortified and thanked her, got my shit and never did that again. She knew if my father found it he would’ve flipped his shit (protective father etc).
Anyway, at least you didn’t leave it around in a public space! lol
I mean, your parents want whatever they think is best for you. Take the L and learn to put away your secrets better if they won’t hear you out. Honestly is the best policy unless you are dealing with people set in their ways. Butt stuff and jerking off is natural. It wouldn’t feel good if it wasn’t. People are so fast to judge based on social norms. My parents saw my search history and caught me whacking multiple times and just played dumb. Calling out your children for masturbation is 100% how you scar someone’s sexuality. Just act like it never happened and move on. If they corner you tell them how that is making you feel. Hope it works out bud.
I honestly can’t comprehend why she will care. You’re 15 and wankink.. not that deep