My girlfriend of 4 years sent flirty messages to another guy

r/

I am (M 25). Been with my girlfriend for 4 years. Lately, I found old chats between her and another guy. She tells him things like “I missed you more than usual today ❤️🥺” and “Can I be honest with you about something ❤️❤️❤️”. She has also told him on multiple occasions that she loves him It’s flirty and emotional.

I’ve given up a lot in this relationship — friends, hobbies, even time with family. I feel like I’m always the one apologizing. Now this. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this crosses a line.

Should I stay or move on?

Comments

  1. Expensive_Magician97 Avatar

    How old were the chats? Within the last four years?

    If so, you might, at a minimum, have a conversation with her.

    Although from what you say about having made sacrifices, this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

  2. Intelligent_Goat_605 Avatar

    What would she do if, she found the chats? Would she stay or leave?

  3. Absoma Avatar

    Dude, it sounds like you aren’t her only boyfriend. Sorry.

  4. SooperPooper35 Avatar

    It’s weird how people inside of a relationship have such a hard time dealing with stuff like this. I can’t say much, I’ve been in a similar situation. But, Reddit and I am here to save you……LLEEEAAAAAAVVVVVVE. You will never regret doing something good for yourself, but you WILL (and sounds like you kind of already do) regret wasting your time on someone that gives you zero respect. Have some respect for yourself..GTFO.

  5. pfc_bgd Avatar

    Tbh OP, you should try sacrificing a bit more. You’re clearly not sacrificing enough if she is out there having a second boyfriend.

    Wtf… move on. Today.

  6. pam-tnr Avatar

    You are not overreacting, this is crossing the line, this is at minimum emotional cheating….
    If she says “once a cheater always a cheater”, you have your answer!

  7. Allexutss Avatar

    It’s time to move on,her mind is made up. Sorry

  8. thesockson Avatar

    honestly, that’s a major red flag, like how do you even come back from that? i’d be hurt too, ngl

  9. Life_Quail9624 Avatar

    I’d leave man. I’ve been through this exact scenario.

  10. beachvball2016 Avatar

    I’d confront her, but expectations that you’re leaving her.

  11. Due_Leopard_4893 Avatar

    Grow a pair. That relationship is done

  12. JealousRide5095 Avatar

    It’s unbelievable that you’re still in doubt at this point. Of course you move on.

  13. Firekeeper_Jason Avatar

    If these were old chats, the answer would be nuanced and complicated.

    Given they’re recent, absolutely end this.

  14. Repulsive_Volume5471 Avatar

    bin her mate she has betrayed you

  15. pam-tnr Avatar

    I saw in one of your comments that she is sharp with her words, that’s why you didn’t confront her yet…if you feel that she can turn this on you, or try to minimize the situation, don’t budge! Just say that you saw the texts and you’re done e not up to discussion….and move on!!!
    Updateme

  16. ikyle117 Avatar

    We do data transfers at my job and it’s common for the customer to leave the phones and go do errands. You should listen to some of the excuses they come up with when we tell them that the significant other can pick up the phones if they can’t make it. Cheating is the norm now, unfortunately.

  17. Avitpan Avatar

    End it and move on. So sorry dude. You’re young and will find someone else

  18. PhantomRvnCore Avatar

    Four years and she’s sending ‘I love you’ messages to another guy? At this point, you might as well start sending her flirty texts about your favorite pizza toppings—at least they won’t break your heart!

  19. OldYogurtcloset3735 Avatar

    You giving up your friends, hobbies, time with family so you can put this woman on a pedistal is why she has lost interest in you and is now looking for a new man ….. https://youtu.be/b2L0LX4O1cc?si=juJUhTk9V4CsBiyk

  20. Tempo_changes13 Avatar

    Grow some balls and man up leave her