Thank you all so much
TW: healthcare mistreatment
I read all the comments and I left the tv and the lamp on, plus did PT before bed instead of the afternoon.
She only woke us up twice 💃🏽
Before bed though, she was being extra mean so I asked her why she was treating us so bad when we were just trying to help. I gave her a lot of reassurance. This is how the convo went.
She basically was paranoid cause she felt like we were lying to her. About her not being able to get up. Saying things like “I was just up walking! I just went to the store yesterday! Stop telling me I can’t walk, where’s the paper work? Where’s the doctor.”
We’ve had this conversation a million times but I made it a million and 1 and told her that we got her, that She doesn’t have to worry. About us hurting her or mistreating her. She told us we were already mistreating her by keeping her in the bed for 15 hrs…which is what kinda sealed it for me with the dementia comments. Shes been bed ridden for a year. For those asking about dementia, she had several test ran at the hospital because when she was first fell ill we didn’t know the cause. She’s had numerous neurologists see her. Nothing. I got emotional after I reassured her so I left, but when my brother got home, We sat her up on the side of the bed. She could see we weren’t lying. she got upset and told us to lay her back down. We did. She started crying and I couldn’t let her see me cry so I left, I came back and she was planning a trip for all the kids in the family.
She always would plan events to bring people together. It hurts watching her do it now because I know she’s only doing it to get by mentally. she told me she wanted to plan a surprise for my mom for my mom for Mother’s Day, which made me emotional again cause even if we wanted to, my mom is in control of her finances right now. Not much of a surprise when you’re basically paying for it.
Speaking of my mom, here’s why my aunt won’t be going to a home.
- My mom’s dad died due to asphyxiation. He was in a nursing home and they fed him too fast. My mom sued and lost, so basically she lost her father with no reparations from the healthcare system.
- My moms mom died suddenly, and she always jokes about being an orphan but my mom is the “hide my depression by pretending not to be depressed” types and her grief gets her unexpectedly sometimes, which is why I try so hard to pick up the slack if I’m able.
- My mom feels like if she loses her sister that’s all she has left of her immediate family, not counting us, her kids. We have other family but my mom is a dark skinned woman, our first cousins are light skinned and she’s hinted at some colorist bullying from them in her younger years. They mostly come by now to gossip about what state my aunts is in.
-
• My aunt was recently taken to the hospital for pneumonia, she came back with
6 lesions, 2 inside her. We didn’t even notice those two at first.
Diapers way too small, my aunt told us they were being too rough with the bed pan, and get this,
They left the catheter in her. Something that looked like a blue pill with the front cut off and a filter inside. Brought her to us with it still in. We had no idea so when we changed her, she did her normal business and the #2 got inside the thing. Sorry if that’s tmi. I’ve been enraged about that. Just another thing to be concerned about and we know that’s not how she left us. So yeah, she probably does have a uti, because of her treatment at the hospital.
I appreciate all the healthcare workers that gave helpful advice in the comments. However, I must say this. I would say no offense if you get offended by this you absolutely should be.
Healthcare professionals are professionals but some are simply just trying to get a check. And at the end of the day. This is just a job for them. This is our family. They might be trained in care, but our care for her is ingrained. with that being said, I looked into the at home healthcare classes to get paid for taking care of her. Thank you everyone who mentioned that!!! And also if you’re one of the healthcare workers that looks at patients as “just another inconvenience at work”
quit, immediately if you can. I can’t believe there are people paid to harm and mistreat peoples loved ones and get away with it. They are called patients to remind us to be patient with them. If you don’t have patience it’s fine but don’t ruin someone’s quality of life because “you want to get off early today.”
do it because you care about people. Not money.
Thank you for all the comments, help and well wishes. If anyone wants to help support I will be starting my own board-game business and will tag it here once everything’s complete so any support is appreciated!
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: Thank you all so much
TW: healthcare mistreatment
I read all the comments and I left the tv and the lamp on, plus did PT before bed instead of the afternoon.
She only woke us up twice 💃🏽
Before bed though, she was being extra mean so I asked her why she was treating us so bad when we were just trying to help. I gave her a lot of reassurance. This is how the convo went.
She basically was paranoid cause she felt like we were lying to her. About her not being able to get up. Saying things like “I was just up walking! I just went to the store yesterday! Stop telling me I can’t walk, where’s the paper work? Where’s the doctor.”
We’ve had this conversation a million times but I made it a million and 1 and told her that we got her, that She doesn’t have to worry. About us hurting her or mistreating her. She told us we were already mistreating her by keeping her in the bed for 15 hrs…which is what kinda sealed it for me with the dementia comments. Shes been bed ridden for a year. For those asking about dementia, she had several test ran at the hospital because when she was first fell ill we didn’t know the cause. She’s had numerous neurologists see her. Nothing. I got emotional after I reassured her so I left, but when my brother got home, We sat her up on the side of the bed. She could see we weren’t lying. she got upset and told us to lay her back down. We did. She started crying and I couldn’t let her see me cry so I left, I came back and she was planning a trip for all the kids in the family.
She always would plan events to bring people together. It hurts watching her do it now because I know she’s only doing it to get by mentally. she told me she wanted to plan a surprise for my mom for my mom for Mother’s Day, which made me emotional again cause even if we wanted to, my mom is in control of her finances right now. Not much of a surprise when you’re basically paying for it.
Speaking of my mom, here’s why my aunt won’t be going to a home.
My mom’s dad died due to asphyxiation. He was in a nursing home and they fed him too fast. My mom sued and lost, so basically she lost her father with no reparations from the healthcare system.
My moms mom died suddenly, and she always jokes about being an orphan but my mom is the “hide my depression by pretending not to be depressed” types and her grief gets her unexpectedly sometimes, which is why I try so hard to pick up the slack if I’m able.
My mom feels like if she loses her sister that’s all she has left of her immediate family, not counting us, her kids. We have other family but my mom is a dark skinned woman, our first cousins are light skinned and she’s hinted at some colorist bullying from them in her younger years. They mostly come by now to gossip about what state my aunts is in.
• My aunt was recently taken to the hospital for pneumonia, she came back with
6 lesions, 2 inside her. We didn’t even notice those two at first.
Diapers way too small, my aunt told us they were being too rough with the bed pan, and get this,
They left the catheter in her. Something that looked like a blue pill with the front cut off and a filter inside. Brought her to us with it still in. We had no idea so when we changed her, she did her normal business and the #2 got inside the thing. Sorry if that’s tmi. I’ve been enraged about that. Just another thing to be concerned about and we know that’s not how she left us. So yeah, she probably does have a uti, because of her treatment at the hospital.
I appreciate all the healthcare workers that gave helpful advice in the comments. However, I must say this. I would say no offense if you get offended by this you absolutely should be.
Healthcare professionals are professionals but some are simply just trying to get a check. And at the end of the day. This is just a job for them. This is our family. They might be trained in care, but our care for her is ingrained. with that being said, I looked into the at home healthcare classes to get paid for taking care of her. Thank you everyone who mentioned that!!! And also if you’re one of the healthcare workers that looks at patients as “just another inconvenience at work”
quit, immediately if you can. I can’t believe there are people paid to harm and mistreat peoples loved ones and get away with it. They are called patients to remind us to be patient with them. If you don’t have patience it’s fine but don’t ruin someone’s quality of life because “you want to get off early today.”
do it because you care about people. Not money.
Thank you for all the comments, help and well wishes. If anyone wants to help support I will be starting my own board-game business and will tag it here once everything’s complete so any support is appreciated!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.