Hi guys, I’m a 22M from pakistan, going through a really fucking tough time and I can’t really ask for advice about this from anyone else so I thought it’s better to come here
I made a (F)riend in University last semester, a really nice girl and we got somewhat close to friends but that’s where I made her stay as I didn’t want anything other than that from her or basically anyone back then.
Since this is southeast Asia, getting married around 21+ is pretty common, and her parents want to get her engaged atleast, so 2 months ago she got engaged and I was supportive and happy for her, but all of a sudden from no where she started developing feelings for me while I have none towards her and I made it clear many times that I didn’t want anything other than being a friend to her.
But she just doesn’t listen, she wants me to get engaged with her etc etc and she ended her engagement with that other man as well, all while I never gave her any green light to do so, and never will.
How do I make her understand that I won’t get engaged with her or marry her as I don’t want to be married up untill 4-5 years later?
I’ve tried everything, begged to her but she’s super stubborn, doesn’t listen and it’s been making my life hell.
Appreciate any comments that can help me navigate to a situation where I can make her understand to move on from me or one where
I can cut her off without her taking a toll on herself and in turn me taking a toll on myself as well.
Thank you!
Comments
Honestly I’d block her number and socials to start with. If you’re still in uni, maybe talk with one of the guidance counsellors if you have them available
Yeah, if you really didn’t give her any signs and have been as up-front as you’re saying then you need to block her and go no contact. She sounds unwell.
Three questions: Is she a nice person and a loving girl? Is she pretty? Do you get along well with her? If yes to all, keep her!
Just block and ghost her. She seems unstable and really disrespectful of your feelings.
Sometimes you can’t be friends with people. This is one of those times.
Tell her something along the lines of “I do not have romantic feelings for you and I will not be pursuing a relationship with you. I wish we could continue being friends, but that can’t happen. You do not respect that I only want to have a friendship. It would be unfair to try to be friends when you want more. This may hurt you to read, and I’m sorry for that, but I am standing firm on this. I wish you all the best. Please don’t contact me any more.”
Then block her everywhere. Tell a guidance counselor at your Uni so they can help you if she tries to contact you in person.
You might feel bad, and that’s okay. But you don’t have to sacrifice your health when someone isn’t respecting your wishes.
Yhhh
This is an awful situation mainly because she’s in your circle of friends. I’m afraid it’s time to be brutally honest and tell her if she doesn’t leave you alone, you’ll have a talk with her fiancee. She’s left you with no choice.
You really have to just stop replying to anything she sends you. Then post some pics of you with another girl. Could even be a stranger. Just show her you’re living your life without her at all (no contact) She will get the idea.
Simple; ignore her or rat her out to her fiancé.
She is absolutely crossing a line to a point that this is becoming harassment. I would tell her that you will be taking legal action if she does not leave you alone and then you need to block her on everything. If you’re still in uni with her you also need to warn your guidance counselors that you have a stalker.