So my friend (22m) and I (23f) are best friends but our relationship is strange to say the least. Let’s call him Derrick. Derrick and I are best friends we hang out every day. He stays the night every night and we never did anything. There has always been light flirting, but we have made it clear that there is no romantic feelings on his part (he knows I have feelings for him). However, last night he was giving me a back massage, which is normal and nothing has ever happened but we were drinking and he made a comment and one thing led to another and we ended up going to third base, but I’m scared what if I’ve ruined things. Things have been relatively normal since but I’m unsure how to approach the topic and what to say. I’m planning on talking to him about everything that happened and where we stand now but would like some advice.
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Oh man it’s hard but if you wanna talk about it please message me and I can go more into detail on my opinion!
Did you want it to happen? Let him know. Do you not want that to happen again unless some rules are laid out, then let him know.
I would suggest having an honest conversation with him and set your goal posts, talking does alot, it may seem anxiety bomb but other person would feel the same… if not close chapter in your book and move on with that idea. It seems it could be that the reason this came up once you had some wine and loosened up ….
Your friend is using you to fill his desires and doesn’t care about your feelings. There was an old adage “why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free”.. it’s cringy but it works. He gets to feel you up and potentially have sex with you, with the caveat that “he doesn’t have feelings for you”.. you wind up thinking he’s getting feelings right up till he breaks your heart and says “I told you I didn’t have feelings”
Do yourself a favor and make him keep his hands to himself and you do the same unless he’s willing to have the “relationship ship” convo. Otherwise you are just filling a carnal need he has at your own expense