Hi, I’m almost 18 (F). I have been in a long distance relationship with this guy from another continent for almost a year now, we met two years ago online. We have never met each other in person but we really love each other and want to meet in person someday. However, that would take time. I am indian and he is portuguese and we have different family backgrounds. My parents have always supported me and helped me, they work hard to provide for me and I always do my best to make them proud including getting good grades. Education is very important to them. My bf quit college and doesn’t want to go back. He wants to find work and start boxing soon, though he hasn’t been able to find work yet. I told my mother about this and she said it’s better to end things now because my father would never accept him and it would lead to even more hurt. I don’t want to choose between my parents and my bf. At one point I agree with my mom that I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend and perhaps it’s best to end things, and she said to find someone from our community and someone who is properly educated. But, my bf and I really love each other and the thought of not talking to him or moving on is super hard for both of us. I don’t know whats righr or wrong. Should I keep talking to my boyfriend…we don’t know when we will meet or if my parents will accept up (my dad doesn’t even know he exists) my parents are good people and they just want the best for me but still I don’t want t regret not giving It a chance but at the same time I don’t want to regret continuing this and getting hurt in the future. And maybe there’s a tiny part of me that wishes If I could find someone local and experience the normal relationship…because ldr is hard
I don’t know what to do…I don’t want to loose the relationship with my bf but at the same time I just don’t know
Thank you for reading through this btw
I need relationship advise
r/Advice
Comments
Many parents place a lot of emphasis on the financial prospects of their daughter’s partners. I think, if your boyfriend is set up for a good job, whether or not it’s academic, they would probably be more okay with the relationship. Especially if it’s a trade that pays well. But if he’s just not going to college and has no future plans, I do kind of see their point. The concern I have when you say that he “wants” to find work and “wants” to start boxing is: it’s hard to find a good job, it’s not hard to start doing a boxing class. So I do understand your parents’ concern that he just doesn’t really have a gameplan and isn’t taking steps to accomplish them.
It doesn’t sound like it is only a financial consideration. Long distance relationships are really hard and will be even harder once you start college. I don’t think you’re wrong for considering ending the relationship to enjoy this formative time in your life!
The idea of your boyfriend seems sincere but honestly have without meeting him in person i dont believe it could ever be real. I would recommend not to get attached with a long distance partner. Physical touch is so important in a relationship. That does not just mean sexual. It could be the look in their eye or their head against your chest. All is important in a a healthy relationship. Without having any of that prior, your relationship lacks a crucial foundation. You guys also have different career paths at the moment. Dont hold yourself back for a man u haven’t met. You could stay as friends but your mother has a point that if u say u love him it is best to just leave him behind now better than later. Maybe not a full goodbye but just a “i will see you again”. Whatever is healthier for you.
This guy seems to have lower ambitions than what you are espousing. It’s not impossible but adding that to an already strained long-distance, inter-religious (likely) and intercultural relationship will be tricky and a lot of work.
I say call it quits, and wait until college to find someone that vibes well with you.
I don’t know if this has crossed your mind but what if you meet in person and you’re not compatible? Being with someone, their presence, is completely unpredictable. You’re not dealing with IRL relationship issues. It’s okay to let him go if you feel that’s the best option for your future. If you stay with him though you really need to see if he’s going to follow up on his promises.
My concern is in 2 years you have not met in person. What’s to say you are not being groomed for something nefarious. With human trafficking at an all time high it is not so far fetched of a thought. You are still young and impressionable. Personally I as a parent would fear for your safety.
Please be extremely cautious.
Nah bro honor your parents. Get a portuguese boyfriend with a college degree if you must.
Its that simple yo, you’ve never even met the guy
There are other Fish in the Sea. 😉
If he ever asks for money. Don’t. Best wishes.
You’re gonna end up in an episode on a reality television show.