We got divorced around 6 months ago. Me (29M) and her (30F) got married around 5 years ago. We instantly clicked. Asked her to get married after speaking one month. Got married a year later. We were so happy. Until people started intervering. Some things got revealed. And now im laying in my bed, she’s sitting a few feet from me on a teams call. Long story short we became best friends with benefits. Last night i told her how i miss her and wish we could go back. But she just said we didnt work together. She still loves me with all her heart, but she says she cant.
Im sturggling with the fact that i lost her. Like it really brings me down. I cant focus on other things. I keep seeing her naked in front of me. I keep imagining her beautiful eyes. The way she asks for something. Everything. She even sleeps naked next to me. I have this feeling in my stomach and its not good.
How do i move on from something so perfect? How do i forget someone that brings me happiness i have never experienced? She gives me a reason for staying. She gives me reason. How do i go about this without feeling ive died inside?
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Healing takes time, and it’s okay to feel all those emotions. Maybe try focusing on yourself for a bit? Engaging in hobbies or spending time with friends can help shift your mind. It might also be helpful to talk to someone about how you’re feeling—sometimes just sharing what’s in your heart can lighten the load a little. And while it’s hard to imagine right now, know that moving on doesn’t mean forgetting her; it means finding peace within yourself again.
Honestly, for your own mental health and wellbeing, it might be best to end the friends with benefits situation.
In order to move on, you absolutely need space from her emotionally and sexually. It’s almost impossible to move on from someone when you’re still partially acting like a couple.
Why TF you still FWB with your ex. You should be out there enjoying the single life again and hanging out with friends.
Love the memories but live in the present. Cold turkey, stop – persisting comes at your expense and undermines your potential for a healthy future. Good luck
For some reason… You are completely won over by her, but she is not won over by you. You admitted that “Some things got revealed”…. but you aren’t sharing what those things are. I bet the thing you are not sharing here (which is anonymous) you’re worried will change our views. Maybe it will…. but without that detail, I don’t know how much of a “Deal Breaking” those details really are.
By living with this woman and continuing the ‘benefits’ you’re enabling these emotions.
Here’s the thing, your current situation is not sustainable and not healthy for your mental state. Right now, she is still your one and you to her a flesh dildo. You get enough so that you keep desiring her, and she gets what she needs and completely controls the narrative. For your own mental well-being you need to end it.
So she’s your best friend, sleeps naked in bed with you, and still has sex with you? I’d say that’s way better than 99% of all marriages!!
Me and my buddies (29m) were out having drinks a few weeks ago and kind of touched on a topic related to this. I asked them “do you have that one person you wish things never ended with, what happened and what did you learn from point in time in your life” and of course everyone had that one that got away, whether it was due to mistakes on their part or just growing in different directions and not “working together” similar to what this lady told you. To make a long story short the answers given and the advice I would pass on to you is appreciate the moments shared, not just the good ones but the bad as well. Reflect on these times because what you are reflecting on and remembering is your truth, your version of the time period and that’s perfectly fine but also remember that some things are just not meant to last, no matter how good they feel. You two may always have love for each other and that is a blessing. But with love comes open and honest communication, she was open and honest with her truth when she said you two dont work and you may not want to hear that but if you love her as cliche as it may sound you will have to let her go. Meaning cutting off that friends with benefits thing. You will need to take this experience and grow on your own. There is more pages to fill in your book (life) and it may not seem like it gets better than this but it will. Wishing you the best, stay strong and remember it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.
you’ve got to establish boundaries and face that she is no longer going to be your person. pivot energy and thoughts about her back onto yourself. r/SingleAndHappy
You still need more time and to go no contact. You will move forward when you face life without her I promise.
I understand your frustration and pain. “How can I move on from something so perfect?” It’s difficult to say but you have to see that it wasn’t so perfect for her. And maybe you even. She has already made up her mind. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. It’s a killer. But as stated above, you need to separate. You both need to start being alone. You will never heal if she doesn’t ever leave.
For your own mental health you need to go your separate ways. It’s better to rip off the bandages quick. It will hurt less in the long run, and give you time to start to recover and fix yourself.
Sorry my friend. I did it, dragged myself longer than I should have. And even though 10 years later I found an amazing person. I wish I had done it sooner to avoid the scars I created to myself.