AITA for Not Covering for My Coworker and Potentially Ruining His Promotion?

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I (31F) work in a corporate office, and we’re currently in the middle of a huge project that’s had everyone stressed and working overtime. My coworker, “Tom” (34M,not the real name), has been openly gunning for a promotion, and management has been keeping a close eye on how he handles this project.

A couple of weeks ago, Tom asked me to cover for him while he ducked out early to “handle a personal emergency.” I said yes without thinking much of it. But it started happening more frequently Tom would ask me to handle his work while he left early or took long lunches. I started to feel taken advantage of, but I didn’t say anything.

Then last Friday, our boss asked me for the updated project reports. Normally, that would be Tom’s responsibility, but he had left early again. I tried to stall, but the boss insisted, so I ended up telling him that Tom had been out a lot lately and hadn’t updated the reports.

My boss’s face went stony, and he just said, “Noted.” That afternoon, Tom came storming into my office, furious. Apparently, the boss had called him in and asked why he’d been slacking off and missing work. Tom accused me of sabotaging his promotion, saying I could’ve just said he was in a meeting or something.

Now, some of my coworkers are divided. A couple of them think I did the right thing by being honest, but others are saying I threw Tom under the bus and that it wasn’t my place to tell the boss what was going on.

I didn’t intend to get Tom in trouble I just didn’t want to keep covering for him. But now I feel guilty, especially since the promotion is pretty much off the table for him now.

AITA for not covering for Tom and potentially ruining his chance at a promotion?

(I first gave this to chat-gpt for improving the readability and grammar, My first language is not ENGLISH so sorry for that.)

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    I (31F) work in a corporate office, and we’re currently in the middle of a huge project that’s had everyone stressed and working overtime. My coworker, “Tom” (34M,not the real name), has been openly gunning for a promotion, and management has been keeping a close eye on how he handles this project.

    A couple of weeks ago, Tom asked me to cover for him while he ducked out early to “handle a personal emergency.” I said yes without thinking much of it. But it started happening more frequently Tom would ask me to handle his work while he left early or took long lunches. I started to feel taken advantage of, but I didn’t say anything.

    Then last Friday, our boss asked me for the updated project reports. Normally, that would be Tom’s responsibility, but he had left early again. I tried to stall, but the boss insisted, so I ended up telling him that Tom had been out a lot lately and hadn’t updated the reports.

    My boss’s face went stony, and he just said, “Noted.” That afternoon, Tom came storming into my office, furious. Apparently, the boss had called him in and asked why he’d been slacking off and missing work. Tom accused me of sabotaging his promotion, saying I could’ve just said he was in a meeting or something.

    Now, some of my coworkers are divided. A couple of them think I did the right thing by being honest, but others are saying I threw Tom under the bus and that it wasn’t my place to tell the boss what was going on.

    I didn’t intend to get Tom in trouble I just didn’t want to keep covering for him. But now I feel guilty, especially since the promotion is pretty much off the table for him now.

    AITA for not covering for Tom and potentially ruining his chance at a promotion?

    (I first gave this to chat-gpt for improving the readability and grammar, My first language is not ENGLISH so sorry for that.)

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  2. Judgement_Bot_AITA Avatar

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > Sure! Here’s a casual response:


    I might be the asshole because instead of covering for Tom like he asked, I was honest with our boss about his repeated absences, which directly impacted his chances at a promotion. Some coworkers think I should’ve just kept quiet or made up an excuse, so now I’m questioning if I crossed a line by not protecting him.

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    Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

  3. Humble_Landscape_692 Avatar

    NTA Tom did it to himself, he’s just mad he got found out and taking it out on you for not taking the fall for him.

  4. Mountain-Blood-7374 Avatar

    NTA lying could’ve impacted your own credibility at work and put you in a bad position at some point. If Tom really wanted that promotion, he should’ve sucked it up and actually done his job until he got it. He sabotaged it himself by not doing is job and expecting you to cover. If he had a personal matter that required him to be away from work that often, then it’s his responsibility to talk with your boss to find a solution. Protecting Tom by lying would not have benefited you in any way and would instead have likely lead to you facing repercussions, whether they be minor or not.

  5. 404_SocialSkills Avatar

    Honestly this is a tough one. At the end of the day, it wasn’t your place.. at the same time what else were you expected to say in the heat of the moment to your boss? Maybe you should have told your boss that Tom was simply finishing up.. you didn’t have to say that he was missing work a lot.

  6. wanderingstorm Avatar

    NTA

    You are not responsible for Tom. TOM is responsible for Tom. Tom wants a promotion, then TOM should do his job like he deserves the promotion.

    Let’s pretend you did “cover” for Tom. Then the boss finds out you covered for Tom. What do you think the outcome will be when it’s your job on the line? Will Tom be covering for you? I bet not. Tom will let you fall.

    You did not sabotage Tom’s promotion. Tom did.

  7. ZookeepergameNo7151 Avatar

    NTA

    In the slightest. Tom potentially ruined his promotion chances by slacking off and taking the piss.

    Not you.

    Plus day you did lie and say he was in a meeting, your just asking to get caught out in the lie, them you’ll be in the shit because you’ve been caught lying to senior management.

    Keep your own nose clean and don’t worry about anyone else

  8. TeenySod Avatar

    NTA

    YOU didn’t wreck Tom’s promotion. He did, by not doing the work. What were you supposed to say if the reports hadn’t actually been done? If you’d said Tom was in a meeting, your boss would probably have still wanted to see up to date documentation and then you would have been dragged into any disciplinary for lying – you don’t set yourself on fire to keep yourself warm.

    The only thing you maybe should or could have done is speak to Tom sooner about being concerned that he might be sabotaging himself, although he sounds like the kind of arrogant ‘alpha male’ type who would give you shit about “I got it handled, mind your own business WOMAN” so if he is, I can understand why you would have tried to avoid that grief.

    Your boss’s expression tells me that they already suspected or knew that Tom was slacking off.

  9. lemon_charlie Avatar

    NTA. Tom made his own decisions, full knowing that he had a promotion on the line for how he handled this project. Any inability for him to follow-up on the work expected of him is on him, not you.

    You told your manager the truth when pressed for it, and just the truth as it pertained to the work Tom should have been doing. You didn’t snitch no matter what people may say.

  10. Aware_Welcome_8866 Avatar

    You cannot sabotage a person’s promotion when they’re not doing the work. NTA

  11. CalliopeCelt Avatar

    NTA he was using you and getting paid for it. Telling the truth here isn’t wrong, it’s what should have been done.

  12. Substantialgood4102 Avatar

    NTA. Don’t lie to cover for someone else. Tom was going for the promotion but decided his “personal business ” was more important. Getting caught in a lie would be detrimental to you and your job. Up to and including getting fired. I have no doubt if the circumstances arose Tom would have no problem throwing you under the bus and driving over you.

  13. ScarletNotThatOne Avatar

    NTA. What were you supposed to say? Anyway he was slacking. He didn’t merit the promotion. Because of his actions — not yours.

  14. Ve1ocity_85555 Avatar

    Info:

    I’m puzzled by one detail of your story. If those reports were Tom’s job, why was the boss asking you for them?
    Which you proceed to explain to the boss why he didn’t do them.

    Something isn’t making sense to me with that statement.

  15. No-Introduction3808 Avatar

    NTA what did Tom mean by covering for him anyways. In my job that just means phones and questions, it doesn’t mean core work (like the update) that would be done by them when they get back. Tom dropped the ball on doing the update reports, likely he just wasn’t doing any work therefore had nothing to update. Tom dropped the ball that’s his own fault, he should have either delegated that work (if within his powers) or done it prior to leaving early.

  16. SafeWord9999 Avatar

    Just say ‘I didn’t realise it was a secret? If I was meant to lie for you you should’ve told me, I thought whatever you were doing was all transparent with management?’

  17. too-many-critters Avatar

    It doesn’t sound like you have a supervisor between you/Tom and your boss, if it’s not your place to be honest about what’s going on then whose is it? NTA

  18. EastPirate6505 Avatar

    NTA

    If Tom was really gunning for the promotion then Tom would’ve made sure he was doing the work, arriving early, staying late and not shirking his responsibilities.

    You lying for him only hurts your professional reputation. YOU didn’t cost Tom anything.

  19. lord_buff74 Avatar

    NTA, but in the future just say, “sorry I don’t have them, you will need to check with Tom”

  20. Hutchoman87 Avatar

    NTA. Sounds like Tom isn’t ready for the promotion.