When Harold Ramis died in 2014, I visited the site of the Ghostbusters firehouse in Lower Manhattan and placed a Twinkee on the sidewalk in front of the building, which had several lit candles adorned by photos of Egon. Egon was always my favorite Ghostbuster, and his actor’s death really hit hard for me.
I felt the same way when Lemmy Kilmister died in 2015, so I spent the day listening to Motörhead songs and generally being bummed out that I never got a chance to see them in concert. And of course I did likewise for Eddie Van Halen’s death in 2020, and even felt really sad and uncomfortable watching old concert footage of the band on YouTube, knowing that Eddie was gone.
When I was a kid, we were walking to our town library, as my family did often. But on the walk there, we saw that the local funeral home had its doors open. There were not a lot of people, and my dad suggested we stop in and pay our respects. My dad was well known in town, so I assumed he must have had some acquaintance with the deceased. Later, he told me he just noticed there weren’t a lot of people and thought it would be kind to sign the guest book. I got to live my life knowing my dad was a really good human for a lot of reasons, and that man’s funeral was just another example of that.
Chadwick Boseman. His death was so sudden and made me realize how crazy and short life is, but also how strong and indomitable the human spirit is from the way he would still shoot movies and live his life. I genuinely cried that day
Also Anthony Bourdain. I would watch him on a tiny TV screen in my room when I was in middle school. My family didn’t travel much. Vacations were a cheap resort in Cancun or Disney on the high end, but mostly camping at state parks. I’m grateful for all the memories and the effort my parents put in, but it was Bourdain who showed me the rest of the world, and taught me the beauty of travel and how to travel respectfully. What a legacy.
Growing up and seeing Matthew Perry be such a funny happy guy on friends and then to learn he had so much pain in his heart when he passed absolutely broke me
My 9th grade science teacher’s wife. She suddenly got sick and died. No explanation for it at all. We had talked to her on speaker (first time speaking with her) in class a couple days before. Then she was just gone, just like that.
It was the first time in my life I felt so strongly about the death of someone. Maybe it was because it was the first time someone I (partially) knew died when I had a good grasp on the concept of death, maybe it was that I just talked to a really nice person who then suddenly died, idk. But just walking into class and being greeted by a classmate running up to me saying, “Dr’s wife died” will never not hurt. Just made me realize how fickle life is and how suddenly someone can be there one day then gone the next
Jake Phelps. The Editor in Chief of Thrasher Magazine. He was the compass for a generation of skateboarders and curated the best skateboard magazine ever. His decisions on what to print on those pages helped me become who I am today.
When I was in my freshman year of high school, my parents forced me to go to counseling for being gay. I think they genuinely thought the counselor would “fix” me. Instead, she got me into an adult-led support group for LGBT+ teens.
The day I joined, the group was talking about a former member who was trans (MTF) and who had taken her own life. Apparently, several of the group members had attended her funeral and her family deadnamed and misgendered her, refusing to acknowledge her identity and gender, and they were all talking about how difficult and how disheartening that was to witness.
To this day, that has always stuck with me, and even though I never learned or failed to remember her name, that girl’s death and the way she was disrespected posthumously has always stuck with me. I also remember hearing the Colbie Caillat song Bubbly shortly after that meeting because it was in heavy rotation on the radio…and to this day, that song makes me very sad.
I’m still mad about Jonghyun’s death. It’s been almost a decade. I’m still so angry over all that happened to him. His sister tried to get him help. But the police did nothing until his father finally told them to do something. Jonghyun would probably still be alive if they had taken his sister seriously.
Trevor Moore had signed on to be the showrunner of a show I was pitching at the time. He OD’d on his own moonshine a couple months (during Covid so everything was slow) later and the show never happened :/
As a 7-year-old gay American boy, Princess Diana’s death hit hard for some reason. Fortunately, I had her commemorative Beanie Baby to comfort me.
In class, we were supposed to give presentations about our hero while dressed as them… I chose her. I don’t recall the reasons but I ended up dressing as Prince Charles. Missed opportunity to make my grand drag debut!
But I got my redemption 25 years later in a tribute performance. I entered the stage in a vintage wedding gown as “Candle in the Wind” played. White rose trickled down from the rafters.
A wedding march began an we heard Charles recite his vows. When it was Diana’s turn, the track switched to “You Oughtta Know” by Alanis Morissette.
I removed the gown and unveiled the revenge dress. By the end, black petals cascaded to meet me on the floor.
I work for a massive company, but work in field sales about 1000 miles away.
They send out thoughtful emails when someone in the company passes. Once there was a girl my age, a drunk driver ran a red light and killed her and her boyfriend. I was 24 at the time and I sobbed the whole day and I still think about her all the time. We lived parallel lives and never knew each other but I can’t imagine how sad her family must have been.
A friend of mine was a chef at a local hotel and George was a waiter there. Apparently he was complaining of chest pains at the start of his shift.
Later that same day during a busy service, the manager brings all the staff in for a brief chat. Informs them that George died of a heart attack while out on a cigarette break. Immediately after, everyone just went back to work and carried on as normal.
The extent of his memorial was a black and white in memoriam A4 printout upon the staff bulletin board that was removed within a month’s time.
Left behind no partner or children.
Made me thankful for the people I know who would mourn my death. Made me remember not to work myself to death at a shitty job, knowing that they’d be on the phone looking for a replacement before my body was cold.
The person who jumped off the golden gate bridge while I was out there trying to jump off myself. Watching first hand what happens when somebody jumps off made it feel too real and scared me so I went home. Still alive and thriving six years later. god bless you, anonymous angel 🖤
I work at a coffee shop that is owned by a church though I am not religious. The cafe is on the church campus so a big part of the customer base are church employees. One of the pastors that came in occasionally was hit by a car on his twins birthday and died a few days later in the ICU. I was so effected by this I cried after work for weeks after. He was a nice man the few times i met him and it was horrible the way he died but the part that really fucks me up is thinking about how his children’s birthday are going to be ruined for the rest of their lives because it was the day their dad got killed.
Sinead O’Connor, oh gosh that hit me hard. I think often of her, as I too was raised by a crazy abusive Irish Catholic mother, so, I think of her often.
There was this guy that used to go around to the bars and sing karaoke. Young dude. He was severely speech handicapped. I guess he was really into BMX or Motocross when he was younger and had a bad crash. His helmet malfunctioned and the trauma to his head/brain made him handicapped like that after. Super sad.
It was encouraging and super cool to see him still going around and singing, having a good time. Everyone seemed to love him around and he always seemed so happy to just be alive. He always applauded everyone singing and was so hyped up for them. Really cool beacon of energy.
Then one day the owner of the bar I frequent (who is also a family friend) let me know that this person had killed himself. It floored me. I am still sad to this day about it and its been like 6 years.
My then future SIL. She was killed on 9/11 before we met. It had a profound impact on my husband and his family (obviously). We had been dating for a couple of months when it happened. Shaped a lot of my life in the years since.
I work as a housekeeper at a large hotel. My first three months there, I went to clean a room and found a 39 year old man hanging in the closet. He left a note apologizing to the staff, and his family. He was dying of cancer and knew he would bankrupt his family trying to fight it.
That was five years ago and I still feel weird cleaning that room,
When I was visiting Chicago in 2010, I saw an Old Navy store near the former Marshall Fields flagship. There were photos and candles outside the Old Navy, and people were murmuring and hovering around. When I stepped closer, I saw a photograph of a young Black woman. Another young lady was standing alone nearby, looking somber. I think she knew the victim. She explained that the girl’s boyfriend had found her at work and killed her. If I remember correctly, she had tried to leave him and killed himself after her.
Awful. I never learned her name. I still think about her sometimes. I don’t know her, but I do know she deserved better. Rest in peace, sweet soul.
EDIT: I just Googled because for some reason I never was able to find news headlines about her before this. May 7th actually marks 15 years since her murder.
There was this store where the cashier was stabbed to death by a junkie. I was at that store about 15 minutes prior. That one messed me up in many ways for a long time.
Whitney Houston was a hard one for me. My grandma sang at a lot when I was growing up and I remember SO many Whitney Houston songs being played. I was away in college getting ready for an ABC party, and my grandma called to tell me that Whitney passed. My friend that I was with…we literally just stopped what we were doing we’re in so much shock. It still makes me sad when I listen to her music because she was raw talent and just seemed like such a bright light.
Saw the aftermath of a car accident on my way to the gym one morning. It was the type of accident where you can tell someone didn’t leave the scene alive – one car was flipped and the cab was completely crushed.
Made me realize that life is too short to hold grudges.
loved driving fast the minute i got my license and kept it up for years, would constantly treat the highway like it was daytona if there was another car going fast, i had to be faster.
one night driving the usual route i hit the worst traffic ive ever seen…*darn no racing strangers tonight*…eventually i reach the cause of the traffic jam and it is a badly mangled car that lost control and hit a tree, flares set up and the number of LE told me it was serious – found out later the driver did not survive, same age as me, cause of accident was driving too fast. it was the day before mother’s day. pictured my own mom receiving the news about me.
completely changed the way i drive, who knows, possibly saved my life.
My boyfriend and I were making breakfast when he turned on the radio and they were playing Queen songs. By the third one I started feeling something was very wrong, and then the announcer came on and spoke about Freddie’s death. We just turned off the stove and the radio and went back to bed to hold each other for a while.
I went to the beach carpark one evening on the way to a friend’s house and hopped out of the car and sat on a bench seat facing the entrance road when I heard a loud snapping of a tree branch, I looked around to find a guy hanging from a tree near the playground, thinking someone was playing a joke on me as he looked like a ballistics dummy swinging away, my dog and I walked around the corner and walked towards him only realising that he was a real person dangling from the tree branch. I new there was nothing I could do to help him from the deep purple look from his neck up and from the tree branch snapping noise I was sure he’d broken his neck from jumping from at least 1½-2 metres above. I jumped in my car and picked a mate up who was hitching to the same house I was meant to be at and drove back explaining what just happened and needed him to confirm what I really seen. As we’ve pulled into the beach carpark I lowered my visor so stop from seeing him again and my mate says “fuck bro ring the cops”. So we did and blocked the carpark entrance off until the police and ambulance arrived only to see the Ambos pull a huge machete out from under the drivers seat and went and cut the rope. When the guy( found out his name was Thomas), we now call the beach “tommies beach”, hit the ground they started CPR with chest compressions str8 away. I immediately opened my car door and started spewing my guts up, it just became extremely even more real now. That was it, I couldn’t sit there any longer and started to drive away. It turned out my brothers ex and her roommate were friends with tommies and they wanted to meet me to ask what had really happened, the roommate and I became very close friends over the past 4yrs.
My father. Never met him, at least since I was too young to recall. Permanent restraining order. He was very sick and very dangerous, either killed himself or was suicided in jail about a week before my wedding. I was 28 at the time—the oldest of his 6 kids though I’ve only met a couple of them—and I was the only family member including his/our extended family (also strangers to me) who was willing to bury the hatchet and claim his remains from the morgue. I believe everyone deserves dignity in death, even cruel hurt people who have done monstrous things, which was not a sentiment shared across the board. I understood. But it was insane to be the only one who gave a shit considering he was a complete stranger to me, and one who had caused deep harm to people I loved including my mother.
Very surreal experience, very challenging conversations had to happen. I walked through those weeks as if in a heavy rolling fog. I was running headfirst into emotional brick walls; so exhausting having to navigate so many people’s trauma and their relationships with the past. Balancing other peoples feelings and boundaries like a new acrobat thrown onto a high wire from a training trampoline.
And in this way I had to sort of expose myself and be vulnerable to everyone else’s history and all of their stories, the terrible stories they were compelled to share and wipe their hands clean of at the end of it all, from these strangers who share my blood. I was very tired from all the sudden knowing I had to do. Being a very direct product and branch of that unfamiliar tree was bizarre as hell. I was like, Oh right, I’m a part of this. It’s a part of me. All of these people and stories and happenings. This is strange. Ok, acknowledged. Let’s circle back because I have more calls to make.
I learned a lot about myself in those weeks though—my capacity for forgiveness, for empathy, and for humility. I had been carrying such a heavy thing all my life, not realizing its weight until suddenly I allowed myself to put it down. Crazy that it’s our choice.
Pretty sure I aged a decade in a month; growing pains, as it were. It’s all a part of the process though. More to learn. The road goes weirdly on
Gory details – be adviced.
The older lady and man in the car me and my Dad stopped for who crashed her car into a trailer who had motor issues. She had part of their dashboard and cardoor frame through her chest and she died while i hold her hand before the paramedics made it there.
Not that they could have saved her but they could have saved me as a 17yr old who held her hand while she bled out.
Dad was busy giving cpr to her husband. He lived.
I stopped driving recklessly on my MC after that. And I keep a good distance to cars and other vehicles infront of me.
My first death after becoming a CNA. He reminded me so of my papa. He would stay up late to tell me stories of WW2. When he died, I lost it. I went to give my condolences to his daughter and ended up crying with her. She bought me a massage about a week later. I think about him all the time.
At my old job, a woman had just been hired, and I found out her husband had been sick and she needed extra income to help pay for his medical bills. Before her start date, she “quit” because they just found out that his diagnosis was terminal, and he only had a couple of months to live. She wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he passed away without a job interfering with their last months/weeks together.
Something about that broke me, and I just went into another room and sobbed. I went home and hugged my fiancé for forever, and he just held me as I cried. I can’t imagine the pain of that, of knowing you’re in the last weeks of your time with your partner. It made me even more aware of the time we have here and with our loved ones, and it made me value it that much more. I needed this reminder. Thank you.
The cat on the street was laying dead and another cat (with similarly coloured fur) came and found her, sniffed her and realised she’s dead. This another cat looked so… sad and confused. It was apocalyptically depressing scene. I saw it trough the bus window. I couldn’t hold crying in the public transport. Now I’m living with those flashbacks.
Sir Terry Pratchett. I remember seeing the article and sobbing in front of the computer. My then partner came in, asked what happened and shed a tear too despite never read any of his books.
Terry’s books picked me up at some of the worst points in my life. He gave me a whole new outlook on life, an attention to detail a shedding of false fasades and compassion to others.
I still run the GNU code on personal projects. I see it as a nod to a dear friend in a place where time and death do not exist.
This boy from my school who died when I was in about 11th grade. He committed suicide- I never knew him personally. It impacted me because when there was a girl died a few weeks earlier, EVERYONE was lining the halls and whatnot to celebrate her life, but nothing for him. Guess which one was “popular”
The host of America’s Most Wanted son, Adam Walsh. His story is haunting. Same age as me. When he was 6 his mom left him playing video games (Atari 2600 at a kiosk) at the Sears at a mall in Hollywood Florida while she did some shopping. He was kidnapped and his severed head was found 2 weeks later and 130 miles away in a drainage ditch on a roadside.
It’s haunting and as a parent I cannot imagine the horror and grief.
The teenaged boy who was chased out of a store and shot dead by the shopkeeper. In front of 7 year old me in the south in the mid 60’s. I didn’t understand why that happened. I didn’t understand that a young black man could be murdered by a white man without any judgement.
One of my children needed a few operations in the local children’s hospital at only six weeks old ( twenty-five years ago now ). He needed to spend time in ICU after the last one and as we were being taken through to see him the nurse said, “Once we go through the doors into the ward don’t look left, don’t look right, just keep walking and thinking that you’re about to see your baby.”.
We walked through the doors and immediately to our left a room door opened and a priest walked out, followed by a sobbing father.
I never knew the man, or his child, and I hope he eventually found happiness again but at that single moment I suddenly got all my priorities right and ever since the small stuff has never mattered. It’s not the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the house you live in. Health and the people you love are what matters most.
I could walk past the guy in the street and not know him but his sadness and the temporary glimpse I got of his pain changed my life.
My former boss for my seasonal job had just gotten married and his wife was pregnant when I worked with him. A few months after I left, I heard his wife died after giving birth. Shitty things happening to good people pisses me off. Now I get nervous whenever any of my friends or family are pregnant.
The things I hear and see in the news about people in Ukraine, Palestine, Sudan and more. With internet we hear about everything happening in the world. Everyday I see painful things that make me want to cry. Everyday.
Naya Rivera. Of course I have my conspiracies and hatred towards Ryan Murphy, but the truth of it is, she died saving her son. She was a really important character for me on Glee, and I was in the middle of listening to her book/absorbing any info I could about her due to the Ariana/Big Sean scandal (obvi team Naya). When I heard she passed I was crushed, it felt like my friend died.
I was working as a tow truck driver at the time and I was on-call. I responded to a fatal mc crash, the rider was being chased by a police cruiser and tried to pass a truck on the left as the truck was making a left. The rider flew and folded right onto the corner of a house. I towed the bike and truck back to the tow yard. This wasn’t my first fatal by I swear the rider stayed with me for a week, like he was right behind me not sure what was going on. That’s the feeling I had. I’ve gone to a number a fatal crashes in the tow truck and as a medic year prior. Never have I ever experienced that before.
Listening to the mother’s grief after we pronounced her son dead lead me to go on my craziest drinking binge at that point (and I’d had some bad ones) in my alcoholism. When I finally came out of it I quit, it’ll be 4 years in November.
Christa Mcauliff, when the Challenger space shuttle blew up. She was a civilian teacher and took with her the hopes and dreams of so many people, including myself.
I just learned today, that Virginia Giuffre killed herself April 25, and I never saw it on any TV news broadcast. Never saw it on Reddit either. Virginia was the first victim to come forward in all the Jeffrey Epstein rape saga, as Jane Doe #102, and was famously photographed with Prince Andrew’s arm around her, with Maxwell in the background. Society failed that poor woman and the media didn’t care enough to let us know when she died. So sad.
Not exactly a complete stranger but I’ll chime in. One of my classmates (PE) jumped off a parking garage my freshman year (she was a junior). This happened like two weeks before Covid. Her death sent me into a deep depression that I still haven’t completely come out of 5 years later. If you’re wondering if your death will affect people, trust me, it will. Please don’t end your life, so many people care about you and want you here.
Back in September I moved to a new area. We knew nobody. 2 weeks in, we were ravaged by hurricane helene. Our neighborhood was hit the worst. We lost everything we owned. As the floods tore through the valley, it took out an entire community of homes who were all members of a single family. We spent weeks digging through debris looking for any bodies. We found mainly body parts, as the surge of the water was so strong that it tore people’s bodies apart.
We eventually found everybody- or remains.
RIP Craig family. September 27, 2025. Fairview,NC 🕯
The company I work for has a contract with Microsoft. Our Microsoft representative sadly killed himself. In the same note that they told us this, they provided the details of the person who will replace him and assured us that our customer service will not be interrupted. FUCK CORPORATE. We are all just replaceable numbers to them. Never prioritize work over your life. They will suck you dry and replace you a day later.
While out for a run in college, I wound up being right next to a head-on collision. SUV versus Honda Civic (like, 1990s Honda Civic). I jumped the guard rail while the SUV was still rolling off the hood of the Civic, managed to bend the passenger-side down down enough for me to reach inside, yell to the guy, and shut the car off – I kept yelling to him to stay awake. We were luckily within a mile of the hospital, so ambulances got there really quickly and I stood at the front of his car and watched as a paramedic attempted to intubate him from the rear seat. If you haven’t seen someone actually intubated in a situation like this, its far more aggressive (and the throat moved around a lot more) than you’d expect.
He didn’t make it and died there in the car in front of me.
That moment flicked a switch in my brain regarding my running career as I realized how short this whole “life” really is and how quickly it could change.
A woman driving in front of us veered off the highway and drove into a bridge pillar. She must have fallen asleep or had a heart attack. My spouse and I were the first to run out and help. Her doors were crushed in and the car was on fire. There was no way to get her out. Strangers started appearing to help. Before I knew it they were ripping the car door open with their bare hands and crowbar. They pulled her out and began cpr. Traffic was at a standstill and backed up forever. A nurse ran over and then a Dr, but she had already been gone. We searched FB for info on what happened, but only saw a traffic post. I commented my condolences and explained I was there. Her family members messaged me. They had only been told there was an accident. Her family had no details at all about what happened. I was able to gently explain that it was fast and she seemed at peace. Then I explained how many brave people came to help her and even those stuck in traffic were grieving and praying too. She wasn’t alone. In fact, she was surrounded by hundreds of people that cared. Years later when my father passed away from cancer, I knew what a gift it was to be there and to tell him I love him.
I am a nurse. Forced to start working on a med/surg floor after graduating despite wanting to work in psych. I have hated my job from the start, was suicidal for a bit due to the stress, trying to find meaning in my work, have regretted every moment that led up to me becoming a nurse.
On night shift, I admitted a little old lady with dementia. Knew she was nearing death, maybe a week or less left.
The following night, she was actively dying. Mottled knees, agonal breathing, irregular heart rate— the whole deal. She was DNR so not much I could do but give her opioids and ensure she was comfortable (she was unconscious by this point). I did my usual with dying patients— wrap their legs in warm blankets, oral care, and lots of drugs.
Family was supposed to visit by this point, but no one had shown up yet. Walked into her room literally the second she stopped breathing. I felt for a heart beat, but it was very faint. Held her hand in her last few moments, told her she was loved.
Called the family to tell them she had passed. Family came. Everyone was sobbing of course. Once they had settled more, I went in to ask about funeral home and things of that sort. The family was still a complete wreck.
Felt the need to tell them: “She did not die alone. I was here with her when she passed. She was very comfortable– no pain at all.” Family started crying harder. Daughter said, “My biggest fear was her dying alone. Thank you for being there.”
She gave me a hug before she left, reiterated again how thankful she was that her mom was not alone in her final moments.
Can’t remember any of these peoples names— they were complete strangers. But it suddenly made my career in nursing— something I have deeply regretted staring— make sense. Providing comfort to a dying person, and having a family know their family member died while being cared for, reignited my passion for nursing.
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When Harold Ramis died in 2014, I visited the site of the Ghostbusters firehouse in Lower Manhattan and placed a Twinkee on the sidewalk in front of the building, which had several lit candles adorned by photos of Egon. Egon was always my favorite Ghostbuster, and his actor’s death really hit hard for me.
I felt the same way when Lemmy Kilmister died in 2015, so I spent the day listening to Motörhead songs and generally being bummed out that I never got a chance to see them in concert. And of course I did likewise for Eddie Van Halen’s death in 2020, and even felt really sad and uncomfortable watching old concert footage of the band on YouTube, knowing that Eddie was gone.
Not a complete stranger but one of my friends friend killed himself by jumping off a cliff in Ireland.
Robin Williams
Can’t imagine trying to put smiles and laughs on people’s faces while struggling to maintain your own.
Leelah Alcorn. She lived in a town right next to mine and was around my age, so her death had a profound impact on me as a fellow trans person.
my friend’s mom during covid. that made me cry.
i am not an emotional person that someone’s death could make me cry, but that day it did.
When I was a kid, we were walking to our town library, as my family did often. But on the walk there, we saw that the local funeral home had its doors open. There were not a lot of people, and my dad suggested we stop in and pay our respects. My dad was well known in town, so I assumed he must have had some acquaintance with the deceased. Later, he told me he just noticed there weren’t a lot of people and thought it would be kind to sign the guest book. I got to live my life knowing my dad was a really good human for a lot of reasons, and that man’s funeral was just another example of that.
Anthony Bourdain
Christopher Hitchens
Grant Imahara… my favorite mythbuster
Ken Block. I never thought I would really care about a celebrity death, but his hit me. He’s one of the main reasons for my love for motorsports.
Chester Bennington. I loved Linkin Park growing up and always wanted to see him sing live and his death broke my heart </3
Chadwick Boseman. His death was so sudden and made me realize how crazy and short life is, but also how strong and indomitable the human spirit is from the way he would still shoot movies and live his life. I genuinely cried that day
Not a real person but a show character. When Jin died and Sun was screaming from the helicopter in Lost I sobbed a lot.
Maggie Smith
Chris Cornell for sure. That voice did things to me I can’t describe.
Robin Williams, because we were his GD kids too.
Also Anthony Bourdain. I would watch him on a tiny TV screen in my room when I was in middle school. My family didn’t travel much. Vacations were a cheap resort in Cancun or Disney on the high end, but mostly camping at state parks. I’m grateful for all the memories and the effort my parents put in, but it was Bourdain who showed me the rest of the world, and taught me the beauty of travel and how to travel respectfully. What a legacy.
Growing up and seeing Matthew Perry be such a funny happy guy on friends and then to learn he had so much pain in his heart when he passed absolutely broke me
Twitch 💔
My 9th grade science teacher’s wife. She suddenly got sick and died. No explanation for it at all. We had talked to her on speaker (first time speaking with her) in class a couple days before. Then she was just gone, just like that.
It was the first time in my life I felt so strongly about the death of someone. Maybe it was because it was the first time someone I (partially) knew died when I had a good grasp on the concept of death, maybe it was that I just talked to a really nice person who then suddenly died, idk. But just walking into class and being greeted by a classmate running up to me saying, “Dr’s wife died” will never not hurt. Just made me realize how fickle life is and how suddenly someone can be there one day then gone the next
Steve Irwin died on my birthday when I was a kid 🙁 I love animals and he just seemed like such a bright light the world needed!
When I was in graduate school, I had a work study and one day they came into the office and a lady was just
Out cold on her desk
Mess me up for a while
Chester Bennington 😭 still feel a rush of emotions every time I see (YouTube/instagram) / hear his voice.
Same goes for every time I hear the opening riff to Levels
Paul walker. He was a childhood hero of mine and got me into cars. I cried when he died.
Jake Phelps. The Editor in Chief of Thrasher Magazine. He was the compass for a generation of skateboarders and curated the best skateboard magazine ever. His decisions on what to print on those pages helped me become who I am today.
Mac Miller
Technoblade… he was way too young and his videos were actually a part of my life
When I was in my freshman year of high school, my parents forced me to go to counseling for being gay. I think they genuinely thought the counselor would “fix” me. Instead, she got me into an adult-led support group for LGBT+ teens.
The day I joined, the group was talking about a former member who was trans (MTF) and who had taken her own life. Apparently, several of the group members had attended her funeral and her family deadnamed and misgendered her, refusing to acknowledge her identity and gender, and they were all talking about how difficult and how disheartening that was to witness.
To this day, that has always stuck with me, and even though I never learned or failed to remember her name, that girl’s death and the way she was disrespected posthumously has always stuck with me. I also remember hearing the Colbie Caillat song Bubbly shortly after that meeting because it was in heavy rotation on the radio…and to this day, that song makes me very sad.
I’m still mad about Jonghyun’s death. It’s been almost a decade. I’m still so angry over all that happened to him. His sister tried to get him help. But the police did nothing until his father finally told them to do something. Jonghyun would probably still be alive if they had taken his sister seriously.
Trevor Moore had signed on to be the showrunner of a show I was pitching at the time. He OD’d on his own moonshine a couple months (during Covid so everything was slow) later and the show never happened :/
David Bowie… I cried for two weeks after he died, his death was unexpected and you could just feel “cool” left the earth.
Prince.
I miss him every day.
I never meant to cause you any sorrow….WELL THEN DON’T DIE BEFORE ME, THEN!
Brianna Ghey. As a trans guy in the UK that fucked me up.
Chris Cornell, I was a more happy person before he died, now I’m happy, but with a constant void internally.
As a 7-year-old gay American boy, Princess Diana’s death hit hard for some reason. Fortunately, I had her commemorative Beanie Baby to comfort me.
In class, we were supposed to give presentations about our hero while dressed as them… I chose her. I don’t recall the reasons but I ended up dressing as Prince Charles. Missed opportunity to make my grand drag debut!
But I got my redemption 25 years later in a tribute performance. I entered the stage in a vintage wedding gown as “Candle in the Wind” played. White rose trickled down from the rafters.
A wedding march began an we heard Charles recite his vows. When it was Diana’s turn, the track switched to “You Oughtta Know” by Alanis Morissette.
I removed the gown and unveiled the revenge dress. By the end, black petals cascaded to meet me on the floor.
Freddy Mercury
I work for a massive company, but work in field sales about 1000 miles away.
They send out thoughtful emails when someone in the company passes. Once there was a girl my age, a drunk driver ran a red light and killed her and her boyfriend. I was 24 at the time and I sobbed the whole day and I still think about her all the time. We lived parallel lives and never knew each other but I can’t imagine how sad her family must have been.
Amy Winehouse for me. I really hoped she had finally got her shit together.
George.
A friend of mine was a chef at a local hotel and George was a waiter there. Apparently he was complaining of chest pains at the start of his shift.
Later that same day during a busy service, the manager brings all the staff in for a brief chat. Informs them that George died of a heart attack while out on a cigarette break. Immediately after, everyone just went back to work and carried on as normal.
The extent of his memorial was a black and white in memoriam A4 printout upon the staff bulletin board that was removed within a month’s time.
Left behind no partner or children.
Made me thankful for the people I know who would mourn my death. Made me remember not to work myself to death at a shitty job, knowing that they’d be on the phone looking for a replacement before my body was cold.
Norm MacDonald.
Princess Diana
Aaliyah. We were the same age when she died. I don’t know why but it still makes my so damn sad when I think about it.
Brittany Murphy for reasons I can’t explain
The person who jumped off the golden gate bridge while I was out there trying to jump off myself. Watching first hand what happens when somebody jumps off made it feel too real and scared me so I went home. Still alive and thriving six years later. god bless you, anonymous angel 🖤
The late great Rik Mayall 💔
I witnessed someone commit suicide in a parking lot a few years ago, right in front of their family. That was definitely pretty traumatizing.
I work at a coffee shop that is owned by a church though I am not religious. The cafe is on the church campus so a big part of the customer base are church employees. One of the pastors that came in occasionally was hit by a car on his twins birthday and died a few days later in the ICU. I was so effected by this I cried after work for weeks after. He was a nice man the few times i met him and it was horrible the way he died but the part that really fucks me up is thinking about how his children’s birthday are going to be ruined for the rest of their lives because it was the day their dad got killed.
Ruth Bader Ginsberg
Sinead O’Connor, oh gosh that hit me hard. I think often of her, as I too was raised by a crazy abusive Irish Catholic mother, so, I think of her often.
The lady that worked at my gas station just dropped dead. I saw her every day for years and she was just gone.
There’s a lot but Chadwick Boseman really crushed me.
Before covid, I used to sit by a guy at work and we’d talk about vegan food and stuff. I found out he randomly died from having a seizure.
Jim Henson.
There was this guy that used to go around to the bars and sing karaoke. Young dude. He was severely speech handicapped. I guess he was really into BMX or Motocross when he was younger and had a bad crash. His helmet malfunctioned and the trauma to his head/brain made him handicapped like that after. Super sad.
It was encouraging and super cool to see him still going around and singing, having a good time. Everyone seemed to love him around and he always seemed so happy to just be alive. He always applauded everyone singing and was so hyped up for them. Really cool beacon of energy.
Then one day the owner of the bar I frequent (who is also a family friend) let me know that this person had killed himself. It floored me. I am still sad to this day about it and its been like 6 years.
Jerry Garcia
My then future SIL. She was killed on 9/11 before we met. It had a profound impact on my husband and his family (obviously). We had been dating for a couple of months when it happened. Shaped a lot of my life in the years since.
The four at Kent State (I can only remember the names of two of them: Kraus, Schroeder). Solidified my distrust of authority; changed my view forever.
Steve Irwin. I had tickets to see him. Flights booked. I wanted to be a Zoologist. Never pursued it.
I work as a housekeeper at a large hotel. My first three months there, I went to clean a room and found a 39 year old man hanging in the closet. He left a note apologizing to the staff, and his family. He was dying of cancer and knew he would bankrupt his family trying to fight it.
That was five years ago and I still feel weird cleaning that room,
When I was visiting Chicago in 2010, I saw an Old Navy store near the former Marshall Fields flagship. There were photos and candles outside the Old Navy, and people were murmuring and hovering around. When I stepped closer, I saw a photograph of a young Black woman. Another young lady was standing alone nearby, looking somber. I think she knew the victim. She explained that the girl’s boyfriend had found her at work and killed her. If I remember correctly, she had tried to leave him and killed himself after her.
Awful. I never learned her name. I still think about her sometimes. I don’t know her, but I do know she deserved better. Rest in peace, sweet soul.
EDIT: I just Googled because for some reason I never was able to find news headlines about her before this. May 7th actually marks 15 years since her murder.
Her name was Tranesha Palms. R. I. P.
There was this store where the cashier was stabbed to death by a junkie. I was at that store about 15 minutes prior. That one messed me up in many ways for a long time.
Whitney Houston was a hard one for me. My grandma sang at a lot when I was growing up and I remember SO many Whitney Houston songs being played. I was away in college getting ready for an ABC party, and my grandma called to tell me that Whitney passed. My friend that I was with…we literally just stopped what we were doing we’re in so much shock. It still makes me sad when I listen to her music because she was raw talent and just seemed like such a bright light.
Princess Diana. Tragic how she died.
Saw the aftermath of a car accident on my way to the gym one morning. It was the type of accident where you can tell someone didn’t leave the scene alive – one car was flipped and the cab was completely crushed.
Made me realize that life is too short to hold grudges.
loved driving fast the minute i got my license and kept it up for years, would constantly treat the highway like it was daytona if there was another car going fast, i had to be faster.
one night driving the usual route i hit the worst traffic ive ever seen…*darn no racing strangers tonight*…eventually i reach the cause of the traffic jam and it is a badly mangled car that lost control and hit a tree, flares set up and the number of LE told me it was serious – found out later the driver did not survive, same age as me, cause of accident was driving too fast. it was the day before mother’s day. pictured my own mom receiving the news about me.
completely changed the way i drive, who knows, possibly saved my life.
Freddie Mercury.
My boyfriend and I were making breakfast when he turned on the radio and they were playing Queen songs. By the third one I started feeling something was very wrong, and then the announcer came on and spoke about Freddie’s death. We just turned off the stove and the radio and went back to bed to hold each other for a while.
Maggie Smith… Cried my eyes out when Profeesor McGonaghal died. Still makes me whimper to think about it
I went to the beach carpark one evening on the way to a friend’s house and hopped out of the car and sat on a bench seat facing the entrance road when I heard a loud snapping of a tree branch, I looked around to find a guy hanging from a tree near the playground, thinking someone was playing a joke on me as he looked like a ballistics dummy swinging away, my dog and I walked around the corner and walked towards him only realising that he was a real person dangling from the tree branch. I new there was nothing I could do to help him from the deep purple look from his neck up and from the tree branch snapping noise I was sure he’d broken his neck from jumping from at least 1½-2 metres above. I jumped in my car and picked a mate up who was hitching to the same house I was meant to be at and drove back explaining what just happened and needed him to confirm what I really seen. As we’ve pulled into the beach carpark I lowered my visor so stop from seeing him again and my mate says “fuck bro ring the cops”. So we did and blocked the carpark entrance off until the police and ambulance arrived only to see the Ambos pull a huge machete out from under the drivers seat and went and cut the rope. When the guy( found out his name was Thomas), we now call the beach “tommies beach”, hit the ground they started CPR with chest compressions str8 away. I immediately opened my car door and started spewing my guts up, it just became extremely even more real now. That was it, I couldn’t sit there any longer and started to drive away. It turned out my brothers ex and her roommate were friends with tommies and they wanted to meet me to ask what had really happened, the roommate and I became very close friends over the past 4yrs.
Carrie Fisher
My father. Never met him, at least since I was too young to recall. Permanent restraining order. He was very sick and very dangerous, either killed himself or was suicided in jail about a week before my wedding. I was 28 at the time—the oldest of his 6 kids though I’ve only met a couple of them—and I was the only family member including his/our extended family (also strangers to me) who was willing to bury the hatchet and claim his remains from the morgue. I believe everyone deserves dignity in death, even cruel hurt people who have done monstrous things, which was not a sentiment shared across the board. I understood. But it was insane to be the only one who gave a shit considering he was a complete stranger to me, and one who had caused deep harm to people I loved including my mother.
Very surreal experience, very challenging conversations had to happen. I walked through those weeks as if in a heavy rolling fog. I was running headfirst into emotional brick walls; so exhausting having to navigate so many people’s trauma and their relationships with the past. Balancing other peoples feelings and boundaries like a new acrobat thrown onto a high wire from a training trampoline.
And in this way I had to sort of expose myself and be vulnerable to everyone else’s history and all of their stories, the terrible stories they were compelled to share and wipe their hands clean of at the end of it all, from these strangers who share my blood. I was very tired from all the sudden knowing I had to do. Being a very direct product and branch of that unfamiliar tree was bizarre as hell. I was like, Oh right, I’m a part of this. It’s a part of me. All of these people and stories and happenings. This is strange. Ok, acknowledged. Let’s circle back because I have more calls to make.
I learned a lot about myself in those weeks though—my capacity for forgiveness, for empathy, and for humility. I had been carrying such a heavy thing all my life, not realizing its weight until suddenly I allowed myself to put it down. Crazy that it’s our choice.
Pretty sure I aged a decade in a month; growing pains, as it were. It’s all a part of the process though. More to learn. The road goes weirdly on
Gory details – be adviced.
The older lady and man in the car me and my Dad stopped for who crashed her car into a trailer who had motor issues. She had part of their dashboard and cardoor frame through her chest and she died while i hold her hand before the paramedics made it there.
Not that they could have saved her but they could have saved me as a 17yr old who held her hand while she bled out.
Dad was busy giving cpr to her husband. He lived.
I stopped driving recklessly on my MC after that. And I keep a good distance to cars and other vehicles infront of me.
My first death after becoming a CNA. He reminded me so of my papa. He would stay up late to tell me stories of WW2. When he died, I lost it. I went to give my condolences to his daughter and ended up crying with her. She bought me a massage about a week later. I think about him all the time.
Not sure about any in the past, but I’m gearing up for David Attenborough.
I just love that man and he just turned 99 yesterday.
At my old job, a woman had just been hired, and I found out her husband had been sick and she needed extra income to help pay for his medical bills. Before her start date, she “quit” because they just found out that his diagnosis was terminal, and he only had a couple of months to live. She wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he passed away without a job interfering with their last months/weeks together.
Something about that broke me, and I just went into another room and sobbed. I went home and hugged my fiancé for forever, and he just held me as I cried. I can’t imagine the pain of that, of knowing you’re in the last weeks of your time with your partner. It made me even more aware of the time we have here and with our loved ones, and it made me value it that much more. I needed this reminder. Thank you.
For me it would probably be one of the random people I saw jumping from the burning twin towers.
Those news casts changed my entire hope of humanity and the perception on how evil we truly can be.
Sir Terry Pratchett
The cat on the street was laying dead and another cat (with similarly coloured fur) came and found her, sniffed her and realised she’s dead. This another cat looked so… sad and confused. It was apocalyptically depressing scene. I saw it trough the bus window. I couldn’t hold crying in the public transport. Now I’m living with those flashbacks.
Sir Terry Pratchett. I remember seeing the article and sobbing in front of the computer. My then partner came in, asked what happened and shed a tear too despite never read any of his books.
Terry’s books picked me up at some of the worst points in my life. He gave me a whole new outlook on life, an attention to detail a shedding of false fasades and compassion to others.
I still run the GNU code on personal projects. I see it as a nod to a dear friend in a place where time and death do not exist.
This boy from my school who died when I was in about 11th grade. He committed suicide- I never knew him personally. It impacted me because when there was a girl died a few weeks earlier, EVERYONE was lining the halls and whatnot to celebrate her life, but nothing for him. Guess which one was “popular”
The host of America’s Most Wanted son, Adam Walsh. His story is haunting. Same age as me. When he was 6 his mom left him playing video games (Atari 2600 at a kiosk) at the Sears at a mall in Hollywood Florida while she did some shopping. He was kidnapped and his severed head was found 2 weeks later and 130 miles away in a drainage ditch on a roadside.
It’s haunting and as a parent I cannot imagine the horror and grief.
The teenaged boy who was chased out of a store and shot dead by the shopkeeper. In front of 7 year old me in the south in the mid 60’s. I didn’t understand why that happened. I didn’t understand that a young black man could be murdered by a white man without any judgement.
Racism is evil.
I found a suicide hanging from a tree at my favorite local National Park…. Called the cops, took them to him.
“There, but for the grace of God, go I.”
Breonna Taylor.
Infuriates me whenever I remember the injustice she suffered.
Terry Pratchett
9/11. Thousands of complete strangers. Changed my life.
One of my children needed a few operations in the local children’s hospital at only six weeks old ( twenty-five years ago now ). He needed to spend time in ICU after the last one and as we were being taken through to see him the nurse said, “Once we go through the doors into the ward don’t look left, don’t look right, just keep walking and thinking that you’re about to see your baby.”.
We walked through the doors and immediately to our left a room door opened and a priest walked out, followed by a sobbing father.
I never knew the man, or his child, and I hope he eventually found happiness again but at that single moment I suddenly got all my priorities right and ever since the small stuff has never mattered. It’s not the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the house you live in. Health and the people you love are what matters most.
I could walk past the guy in the street and not know him but his sadness and the temporary glimpse I got of his pain changed my life.
My former boss for my seasonal job had just gotten married and his wife was pregnant when I worked with him. A few months after I left, I heard his wife died after giving birth. Shitty things happening to good people pisses me off. Now I get nervous whenever any of my friends or family are pregnant.
The things I hear and see in the news about people in Ukraine, Palestine, Sudan and more. With internet we hear about everything happening in the world. Everyday I see painful things that make me want to cry. Everyday.
Matthew Shepard.
I received a kidney from someone who decided at some point that they wanted to be an organ donor after they died. I now have a second chance at life.
Naya Rivera. Of course I have my conspiracies and hatred towards Ryan Murphy, but the truth of it is, she died saving her son. She was a really important character for me on Glee, and I was in the middle of listening to her book/absorbing any info I could about her due to the Ariana/Big Sean scandal (obvi team Naya). When I heard she passed I was crushed, it felt like my friend died.
I was working as a tow truck driver at the time and I was on-call. I responded to a fatal mc crash, the rider was being chased by a police cruiser and tried to pass a truck on the left as the truck was making a left. The rider flew and folded right onto the corner of a house. I towed the bike and truck back to the tow yard. This wasn’t my first fatal by I swear the rider stayed with me for a week, like he was right behind me not sure what was going on. That’s the feeling I had. I’ve gone to a number a fatal crashes in the tow truck and as a medic year prior. Never have I ever experienced that before.
Listening to the mother’s grief after we pronounced her son dead lead me to go on my craziest drinking binge at that point (and I’d had some bad ones) in my alcoholism. When I finally came out of it I quit, it’ll be 4 years in November.
Christa Mcauliff, when the Challenger space shuttle blew up. She was a civilian teacher and took with her the hopes and dreams of so many people, including myself.
I just learned today, that Virginia Giuffre killed herself April 25, and I never saw it on any TV news broadcast. Never saw it on Reddit either. Virginia was the first victim to come forward in all the Jeffrey Epstein rape saga, as Jane Doe #102, and was famously photographed with Prince Andrew’s arm around her, with Maxwell in the background. Society failed that poor woman and the media didn’t care enough to let us know when she died. So sad.
Not exactly a complete stranger but I’ll chime in. One of my classmates (PE) jumped off a parking garage my freshman year (she was a junior). This happened like two weeks before Covid. Her death sent me into a deep depression that I still haven’t completely come out of 5 years later. If you’re wondering if your death will affect people, trust me, it will. Please don’t end your life, so many people care about you and want you here.
Back in September I moved to a new area. We knew nobody. 2 weeks in, we were ravaged by hurricane helene. Our neighborhood was hit the worst. We lost everything we owned. As the floods tore through the valley, it took out an entire community of homes who were all members of a single family. We spent weeks digging through debris looking for any bodies. We found mainly body parts, as the surge of the water was so strong that it tore people’s bodies apart.
We eventually found everybody- or remains.
RIP Craig family. September 27, 2025. Fairview,NC 🕯
Matthew Shepard. I was a young queer person his age when he was killed. I’m almost 50 and I think about him regularly to this day.
The company I work for has a contract with Microsoft. Our Microsoft representative sadly killed himself. In the same note that they told us this, they provided the details of the person who will replace him and assured us that our customer service will not be interrupted. FUCK CORPORATE. We are all just replaceable numbers to them. Never prioritize work over your life. They will suck you dry and replace you a day later.
While out for a run in college, I wound up being right next to a head-on collision. SUV versus Honda Civic (like, 1990s Honda Civic). I jumped the guard rail while the SUV was still rolling off the hood of the Civic, managed to bend the passenger-side down down enough for me to reach inside, yell to the guy, and shut the car off – I kept yelling to him to stay awake. We were luckily within a mile of the hospital, so ambulances got there really quickly and I stood at the front of his car and watched as a paramedic attempted to intubate him from the rear seat. If you haven’t seen someone actually intubated in a situation like this, its far more aggressive (and the throat moved around a lot more) than you’d expect.
He didn’t make it and died there in the car in front of me.
That moment flicked a switch in my brain regarding my running career as I realized how short this whole “life” really is and how quickly it could change.
A woman driving in front of us veered off the highway and drove into a bridge pillar. She must have fallen asleep or had a heart attack. My spouse and I were the first to run out and help. Her doors were crushed in and the car was on fire. There was no way to get her out. Strangers started appearing to help. Before I knew it they were ripping the car door open with their bare hands and crowbar. They pulled her out and began cpr. Traffic was at a standstill and backed up forever. A nurse ran over and then a Dr, but she had already been gone. We searched FB for info on what happened, but only saw a traffic post. I commented my condolences and explained I was there. Her family members messaged me. They had only been told there was an accident. Her family had no details at all about what happened. I was able to gently explain that it was fast and she seemed at peace. Then I explained how many brave people came to help her and even those stuck in traffic were grieving and praying too. She wasn’t alone. In fact, she was surrounded by hundreds of people that cared. Years later when my father passed away from cancer, I knew what a gift it was to be there and to tell him I love him.
Robin Williams.
I am a nurse. Forced to start working on a med/surg floor after graduating despite wanting to work in psych. I have hated my job from the start, was suicidal for a bit due to the stress, trying to find meaning in my work, have regretted every moment that led up to me becoming a nurse.
On night shift, I admitted a little old lady with dementia. Knew she was nearing death, maybe a week or less left.
The following night, she was actively dying. Mottled knees, agonal breathing, irregular heart rate— the whole deal. She was DNR so not much I could do but give her opioids and ensure she was comfortable (she was unconscious by this point). I did my usual with dying patients— wrap their legs in warm blankets, oral care, and lots of drugs.
Family was supposed to visit by this point, but no one had shown up yet. Walked into her room literally the second she stopped breathing. I felt for a heart beat, but it was very faint. Held her hand in her last few moments, told her she was loved.
Called the family to tell them she had passed. Family came. Everyone was sobbing of course. Once they had settled more, I went in to ask about funeral home and things of that sort. The family was still a complete wreck.
Felt the need to tell them: “She did not die alone. I was here with her when she passed. She was very comfortable– no pain at all.” Family started crying harder. Daughter said, “My biggest fear was her dying alone. Thank you for being there.”
She gave me a hug before she left, reiterated again how thankful she was that her mom was not alone in her final moments.
Can’t remember any of these peoples names— they were complete strangers. But it suddenly made my career in nursing— something I have deeply regretted staring— make sense. Providing comfort to a dying person, and having a family know their family member died while being cared for, reignited my passion for nursing.