Your username is what kills you. What is it?

r/

Your username is what kills you. What is it?

Comments

  1. JusticePunch Avatar

    I must’ve done something bad…

  2. TacticalFailure1 Avatar

    I’d love to see him try

  3. ProfessionalDadJokes Avatar

    I can’t empathize how cringe Dad jokes are

  4. jkxj Avatar

    A jeep… and multiple have tried…

    Yikes time to burn this one. Thanks op

  5. 1984well Avatar

    Am I in the novel or did Orwell come back for me?

  6. ObsidianSpire Avatar

    A sharp glass mountain made from lava and water.

  7. VeryMerry_Canary Avatar

    Kinda terrifying to think a canary would want to kill me, a very merry one at that. I guess it’s death by enthused pecking for me folks 😞

  8. MinoltaOfficial Avatar

    A camera company’s online presence

  9. Bingotherobot Avatar

    A robot named bingo

  10. Littlebigdicc Avatar

    Uh…I don’t wanna talk about it 😐

  11. Odd_Strawberry4066 Avatar

    It looked okay in the carton but the black fuzz shoulda been a sign.

  12. Deep_Narwhal_5758 Avatar
  13. adultingsucks25 Avatar

    Adulting 🤣🤣🤣

  14. Deadz315 Avatar

    Zombies or PTSD, IDK.

  15. Flaky_Dealer_5454 Avatar

    An unreliable drug dealer…..but I don’t do drugs.

  16. Running_Dumb Avatar

    Ah, just me being myself.

  17. Apachai7 Avatar

    Seven hells. Apachai from Kenichi The Mightiest Disciple 🫠

  18. The_Grim_0ne Avatar

    🤷🏻‍♂️

  19. Individual-Fox-2416 Avatar

    Probably just one rabid asshole

  20. TakingYourHand Avatar

    Someone’s obviously chopped me into pieces.

  21. curiosityattack35 Avatar

    it killed the cat

  22. SocialHelp22 Avatar

    A therapist??

  23. ddollarsign Avatar

    Trying to dive into a pile if gold coins like scrooge mcduck.

  24. Jormungand1342 Avatar

    At least I have something in common with Thor. 

  25. BlueWolf107 Avatar

    A special wolf I guess

  26. InstyKim Avatar

    Uhhhh …me? Instantly??

  27. Holiday-Elephant-596 Avatar

    Fuck yea, elephant.

  28. Mydogsname333 Avatar

    A zombie dog that I loved 🙁

  29. MayorCharlesCoulon Avatar

    19th century Midwest US mayor of a city for 3 weeks

  30. gomickyourself222 Avatar

    I honestly don’t know what would happen…

  31. KP_Wrath Avatar

    Oh, great, violence

  32. ToeingEnergy Avatar

    Sounds about right

  33. FallenRadish Avatar

    Falling radishes, obviously.

  34. wensul Avatar

    A Wendy’s Restaurant On Sullivan Road.

    Wen – Sul

    wensul.

    at least that’s the ORIGIN of the username. Just a portmanteau.

  35. APrivateEmailServer Avatar

    Let me at least run for office first.

  36. MC_PooPaws Avatar

    A rapping cat.

  37. KaelasDad Avatar

    My…daughter?

    Oh, dear! 😳

  38. Acceptable-Cable5065 Avatar

    Well not just any cable gonna kill me😂

  39. whatsgoingawnnn Avatar

    Idk I haven’t figured it out yet

  40. Pinkbaguette4563 Avatar

    It must have been pink mold.

  41. Disastrous_Map_9903 Avatar

    Wrong GPS directions

  42. Goose_4763 Avatar
  43. Mundane-Garbage1003 Avatar
  44. snekinmaboot1 Avatar

    Danger noodle in ma boot

  45. Kind-Sheep Avatar

    Well that doesn’t make sense 🙁 I would hope I would be suffocated by cuddles from the kind sheep

  46. Psychotic_Parakeet Avatar

    Well…. Hmmmm….

  47. Heroic-Forger Avatar

    gets forged, heroically

  48. bigfriendlyfrog Avatar

    It was an accident I’m sure

  49. AdhesiveSeaMonkey Avatar

    See…. this is why you don’t pick up strange things with your bare hands.

  50. Just-Some-Dude-879 Avatar

    Well, damn! He could be anywhere!

  51. ZealousidealTailor56 Avatar

    I was killed by a feverishly enthusiastic and accomplished garment producer. Dreadful sowing machine accident I reckon.

  52. HYPERBOLE_TRAIN Avatar

    Reddit comments.

  53. AnothrRandomRedditor Avatar

    It could be any one of us

  54. istopat2 Avatar

    I didn’t stop at 2.

  55. NostalgicToasts Avatar

    I recommend familiarizing yourself with the mechanisms of any antique kitchen appliances you acquire before operating them, to ensure your safety and prevent potentially fatal accidents.

  56. JadedChef1137 Avatar

    My food came out cold and…well…I wasn’t gonna stand for it

  57. WookieeMatingCall Avatar

    Being violated by an 8 foot tall space cryptid

  58. halfdepressedgolfer Avatar

    Damn. Is it me the half depressed golfer or another half depressed golfer

  59. flyingupvotes Avatar

    Too much karma.

  60. Smooth_Contact_2957 Avatar

    Electrocution. Apparently.

    Or adult activities. 🤔

    Or alien encounter. 🤔🤔🤔

    Very confusing.

  61. Wildly_Uninterested Avatar

    Eh…..don’t really care…

  62. UnlikelyShoe3813 Avatar

    An unlikely shoe. I’m fucked

  63. necroticcyst Avatar

    It doesn’t end well

  64. hangouteatpinecones Avatar

    I guess I’m not surprised

  65. Mysterious-Fluff Avatar

    Think I’d be fine with this.

  66. CheapEnd7214 Avatar

    Well, guess I’ll have a… Cheap End

    Puts on shades badassly

  67. CaptainFartHole Avatar

    Well, that’ll be a shitty way to go.

  68. Golden-potato-97 Avatar

    .…bonked on the head do your think?

  69. Whole_Pizza_936 Avatar

    hmm i wonder where the pizza’s from

  70. More_Hedgehog_9830 Avatar

    Oh no… MORE HEDGEHOGS 🦔🦔🦔

    9,830, to be exact…

    Ahhhhhhhhh!

  71. ---iReddit--- Avatar

    Terminal scrolling. My body will be found buried under 800 open tabs of Reddit drama, debates, cat videos, and reposts. I have no regrets.

  72. FrankyFistalot Avatar

    Well it was fun while it lasted folks….

  73. ExtraDuck9620 Avatar

    Darn those unexpected ducks

  74. celestialpenis Avatar

    A good time, apparently.

  75. PoisonedCherry Avatar

    Its kinda obvious

  76. anticipation_kills Avatar

    Mine makes perfect sense actually 🤷‍♀️

  77. ProximityNuke Avatar

    Someone got too close. Dumbasses.

  78. naked_as_a_jaybird Avatar

    Hopefully my fiancée

  79. Aurabean Avatar

    Flight Into Newark

  80. Armydillo101 Avatar

    A whole squad of infantry

  81. eXtraMelanin2007 Avatar

    Maybe I’ll be dying from skin cancer.

  82. C0PINGmechanism Avatar

    Eh, makes sense.

  83. GoodMilk_GoneBad Avatar

    I hate being sick to my stomach too.

  84. MenorahsaurusRex Avatar

    An asteroid hitting during a Bar Mitzvah.

  85. Mysterious_Wave_5958 Avatar

    Tsunami??

    Reddit chose my username idk how to change it 🤷‍♀️

  86. Vicodin-ES Avatar

    Pretty obvious

  87. NotAZuluWarrior Avatar

    Pretty much anything or anyone except for a very minute group of people.

  88. KittySitting Avatar

    Death by snu snu

  89. 16Kilos_Of_Flour Avatar

    Yes, if it fell on my head it may kill me.
    Maybe I suffocate in it who knows

  90. PM_Your_Wiener_Dog Avatar

    Probably a weiner dog

  91. Rebelfriend06 Avatar

    insert Lego death sound

  92. Conscious-Phone3209 Avatar

    Probably not my phone… more likely consciousness

  93. OkWanKenobi Avatar

    If OkWanKenobi kills me, then I’ve lived a good life as a sith

  94. Personal_Potential83 Avatar

    My…. My own potential??? But I thought it was perfect??

    Everything’s a lie. Crashing out.

  95. the_flat_man Avatar

    Something heavy

  96. Special-Department33 Avatar

    special department ☠️

  97. sir-cum-a-load Avatar

    A glorious death! 💦

  98. Crazy_cookie_ Avatar

    The food I love most

  99. WatchingInSilence Avatar

    Either an ambush predator, a sniper, or a creepy stalker.

  100. Alternative-Problem6 Avatar

    Could be …. different …..

  101. WysteriaNight Avatar

    I got murdered by a bunch of flowers. I did not conquer.

  102. grimreaper5015 Avatar

    Do I need to say more?

  103. Nuclear_Farts Avatar

    Oh dear God, no….

  104. SomeLostCanadian Avatar

    I’m out in the wilderness, I come across another guy who’s just as lost as me. I think we could help each other out, maybe even be friends. Upon finding out I am also a Canadian he decides that there can only be one. He stabs me and I am left there to bleed out in the snow.

  105. Gargleblaster25 Avatar

    I will have to avoid the Milliways Restaurant from now on.

  106. Biscuit-Mango Avatar

    Biscuit (my dog) eats a mango and I am concerned that there’s seeds in there causing me to have a heart attack and die…

  107. VeryPoorKarma Avatar

    Take a look for yourself

  108. TheSexyPlatapus Avatar

    It’s gonna make the news that’s for sure.

  109. thethingsineverknew Avatar

    Whatever it is, I probably won’t see it coming.

  110. Ihatepedophelia Avatar

    Not sure how to interpret this…

  111. Electrical-Smell736 Avatar

    Someone left the gas on

  112. HavUevaSeentherain Avatar

    I’m ready for another biblical flood.

  113. whatimwearing Avatar

    A size too small.. squeezed to death by shirt breaking news

  114. Alert_Falcon_6015 Avatar

    Better not make any sudden moves, I guess. Stay hidden.

  115. Perfect-knot Avatar

    Well. This is embarrassing.

  116. _Exotic_Booger Avatar

    I’ll take it.

  117. loosedebris Avatar

    It flew off the back of a truck and bang, I was a gonner

  118. DishwasherSafe00 Avatar

    Ok well hand washing it is

  119. WatchOutForWizards Avatar

    It’s good advice for a reason.

  120. NightmareBree98 Avatar

    Nightmare version of me, I guess? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

  121. SpatulaCitizen Avatar

    ICE discovers that I am a citizen of the People’s Republic of Spatula

  122. hotwaterwithlemonpls Avatar

    Either I’m burning or choking

  123. Prestigious-Car5784 Avatar

    My death would be pretty common lol

  124. Significant_Bus_4636 Avatar

    it really is a significant bus

  125. benevolentblonde Avatar

    I must’ve done something really bad

  126. danger_dogs Avatar

    Hopefully I just get smushed by the cane corso/great dane mix I see around. He identifies as a lap dog so you’ve gotta be careful. Otherwise, they are good dogs and I don’t blame them

  127. PreparedStatement Avatar

    “If you’re reading this, it means I’m gone now. I fucking knew this day would come. I will not be taking any questions.”

  128. Death_And_Chocolates Avatar

    Can chocolates kill?