I have no idea how to handle this situation that happened at work.
Some background information:
I 23f have been working at a cleaning company for almost 4 years that cleans residential houses. I started culinary school in 2023 and continued to work at the cleaning company throughout my schooling. I am actually about to graduate in a week. That being said, I am going to be moving on from cleaning and hope to find a job in the culinary field.
To the actual story:
So being a residential house cleaner, I usually tend to go back to the same houses quite often to do weekly, biweekly, or monthly cleans. This particular house I had on my schedule, I have been cleaning for well over year. It was a husband and wife, but the wife was always at work and the husband would only be at the house. He never hovered or was in the way while I cleaned, so it never bothered me much. He would make friendly small talk in passing but whatever, that’s fine.
Now to this past week. I recently applied for a new job and have an meeting next week (it’s looking good so far) but that means this would most likely be the last time I would be cleaning this couples house. When I got to the house, I informed the husband that I would most likely be leaving and someone would be replacing me. He understood and I began cleaning. Then about an hour in, he came in the kitchen and asked “can I ask you something personal?” and without really thinking I said “sure”. He asked how old I was and I replied “23”. Then he mentions how most people who attend my school are usually right out of high school. I didn’t think anything of this because my class has such a wide age range that I just started to explain that to him. I also bought up graduation coming up during this. After I finish he says “before you leave, I have a business proposition for you” I thought “wow cool, maybe he has a culinary opportunity for me” since that was just the conversation.
Fast forward to when I finish cleaning. I let him know I am about to leave. I again let him know someone will be replacing me and to message my boss more about it. And then he brings up the proposition. I turned to look at him as I am packing up my supplies to leave and his exact words to me were,
“So my business proposition…. it’s sexual…”
I froze. I don’t say a word. I feel my heart start pounding, my body is starting to tremble.
“Do you want me to continue..” he says.
At this point, my eyes are bulging out of my head, “No.” I am panicking. I feel sick to my stomach. I am alone in the man’s house with few houses around. He then begins his rant “Well I didn’t want to sound like a perv ya know” “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable” “Hopefully you’ll still want to come back and clean” and all while he’s saying this, all I can come up with is blurting words out like “yeahhh for sure” “uh huh” “ok” but I am stammering over everything and can feel the panic rising. He is still going on about not being a perv blah blah and all I can think is “if you have to say that, you’re a fucking perv”. Finally I get my bags and he’s right in front of the door. luckily I was able to just get the door handle and book it out of the house. I legit throw my supplies in my car, whip my car in reverse and skirt out of his driveway.
Im driving and I am full blown shaking, about to have a panic attack but I wanted to get as far away as possible from his house. I finally realized I need to call my boss. I tell her everything that happened and she is horrified, disgusted and felt so guilty. I assured her I did not blame her and she assured me he would be fired as a client and I would never step foot back in that house.
I am driving and just thinking about every single time I have been over there. And then it hits me, this piece of shit has a WIFE and DAUGHTERS (i know at least 2 daughters are in their 20s, like me) I am mortified. I feel disgusted, dirty, grimy, confused. Literally have no clue what to do.
After talking to a few friends and family, i’ve had mixed reactions on how to go about this. I don’t know if I message the wife about this or not. My boss did message the husband and called him out. Saying that was extremely inappropriate, disgusting and she will never be sending anyone there again. So she feels as if that is all she can do as a boss since she didn’t have communication with the wife in the first place. But I did happen to stubble across his wife’s facebook page… and me personally I would want to know if my husband was asking such disgusting things. However, I also feel like if she were to say something rude or not believe me, I don’t know how I would react.
I would also like to add, I have a boyfriend of almost 5 years who is admit I give him the address to have a “little chat”. I love him so much for it but the last thing I need is for him to end up in jail over it. Please I just need some helpful advice on if I message the wife or just let it be and see my therapist lol. thanks.
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Backup of the post’s body: I have no idea how to handle this situation that happened at work.
Some background information:
I 23f have been working at a cleaning company for almost 4 years that cleans residential houses. I started culinary school in 2023 and continued to work at the cleaning company throughout my schooling. I am actually about to graduate in a week. That being said, I am going to be moving on from cleaning and hope to find a job in the culinary field.
To the actual story:
So being a residential house cleaner, I usually tend to go back to the same houses quite often to do weekly, biweekly, or monthly cleans. This particular house I had on my schedule, I have been cleaning for well over year. It was a husband and wife, but the wife was always at work and the husband would only be at the house. He never hovered or was in the way while I cleaned, so it never bothered me much. He would make friendly small talk in passing but whatever, that’s fine.
Now to this past week. I recently applied for a new job and have an meeting next week (it’s looking good so far) but that means this would most likely be the last time I would be cleaning this couples house. When I got to the house, I informed the husband that I would most likely be leaving and someone would be replacing me. He understood and I began cleaning. Then about an hour in, he came in the kitchen and asked “can I ask you something personal?” and without really thinking I said “sure”. He asked how old I was and I replied “23”. Then he mentions how most people who attend my school are usually right out of high school. I didn’t think anything of this because my class has such a wide age range that I just started to explain that to him. I also bought up graduation coming up during this. After I finish he says “before you leave, I have a business proposition for you” I thought “wow cool, maybe he has a culinary opportunity for me” since that was just the conversation.
Fast forward to when I finish cleaning. I let him know I am about to leave. I again let him know someone will be replacing me and to message my boss more about it. And then he brings up the proposition. I turned to look at him as I am packing up my supplies to leave and his exact words to me were,
“So my business proposition…. it’s sexual…”
I froze. I don’t say a word. I feel my heart start pounding, my body is starting to tremble.
“Do you want me to continue..” he says.
At this point, my eyes are bulging out of my head, “No.” I am panicking. I feel sick to my stomach. I am alone in the man’s house with few houses around. He then begins his rant “Well I didn’t want to sound like a perv ya know” “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable” “Hopefully you’ll still want to come back and clean” and all while he’s saying this, all I can come up with is blurting words out like “yeahhh for sure” “uh huh” “ok” but I am stammering over everything and can feel the panic rising. He is still going on about not being a perv blah blah and all I can think is “if you have to say that, you’re a fucking perv”. Finally I get my bags and he’s right in front of the door. luckily I was able to just get the door handle and book it out of the house. I legit throw my supplies in my car, whip my car in reverse and skirt out of his driveway.
Im driving and I am full blown shaking, about to have a panic attack but I wanted to get as far away as possible from his house. I finally realized I need to call my boss. I tell her everything that happened and she is horrified, disgusted and felt so guilty. I assured her I did not blame her and she assured me he would be fired as a client and I would never step foot back in that house.
I am driving and just thinking about every single time I have been over there. And then it hits me, this piece of shit has a WIFE and DAUGHTERS (i know at least 2 daughters are in their 20s, like me) I am mortified. I feel disgusted, dirty, grimy, confused. Literally have no clue what to do.
After talking to a few friends and family, i’ve had mixed reactions on how to go about this. I don’t know if I message the wife about this or not. My boss did message the husband and called him out. Saying that was extremely inappropriate, disgusting and she will never be sending anyone there again. So she feels as if that is all she can do as a boss since she didn’t have communication with the wife in the first place. But I did happen to stubble across his wife’s facebook page… and me personally I would want to know if my husband was asking such disgusting things. However, I also feel like if she were to say something rude or not believe me, I don’t know how I would react.
I would also like to add, I have a boyfriend of almost 5 years who is admit I give him the address to have a “little chat”. I love him so much for it but the last thing I need is for him to end up in jail over it. Please I just need some helpful advice on if I message the wife or just let it be and see my therapist lol. thanks.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Good your boss backed you on this…
Off-the-cuff i would say, tell her. But essentially i predict he will deny, leaving her in a “he said, she said” situation, perhaps he will twist it into “she came on to me, i rejected her!”
Any chance you have evidence of any kind??
IF you do tell her, be prepared for backlash.. he may call to berate you, so – local laws permitting? – record all calls from unknown numbers…
Alternative is ensuring all local cleanibg companies are made aware of the situation, so they dont send young women into his house unprepared…
What does your gut tell you about what you’d want if you were the wife? That’s the answer for what you can live with.
I can say message the wife all I want, how it’s predatory behavior, can’t – or won’t – be the first and only time, etc., but I’m not the one in this exact situation or the one who would be part of what comes after
Message the wife and tell her, but prepare yourself for any reaction and recognize that receiving information like that can be hard on people, so it’s not personal. If she responds negatively, you don’t have to continue the conversation. Also, don’t let your bf have a chat with him. Nothing good will come from that.
Also, whether she believes you or not, the seed will be planted and if he does anything else that’s sketchy, she will remember.
The most important thing is to inform other companies, many women don’t have the courage to report situation like this as it is still common that people don’t believe them so as a woman you have to protect and advice other women
Regarding the wife, the best for her is to tell her, even if it can backfire, unfortunately often we don’t see what we don’t want to see even if there’s evidence. It’s possible that she won’t believe you and convince herself that you hit on her husband, he rejected you and now you seek revenge. But saying nothing would only help this jerk to get away with it and continue, for sure that was not the first time and won’t be the last.
I’m curious how he will justify the fact that your company fired them as clients they won’t find another… hoping that other companies are serious as yours and won’t expose their employees to a dangerous situation
I wojkd most definitely consult with your boss before messaging the wife. She may even want to handle this
You reported it to your boss. Let them handle it. Hopefully they will let the wife know why they got fired as clients. I’m so sorry you went through this. Gross.
I would ask your boss how to proceed/if she plans to tell the wife why they will be fired as a client. I think especially because this is a professional setting it would be best to have your boss handle informing her and spare you from further involvement.
I wouldn’t contact the wife. She knows he’s home while you are cleaning, and there’s been no issues. All of a sudden they have been fired as clients? He’ll have some explaining to do. She can figure it out, or choose to not think about it too much, if she prefers to be blind.
Edit: I agree with the other comment that your boss should let other companies know why that family got fired as clients, and you should ask your boss if they intend to do that. (If your boss haven’t already thought of it, they will after you ask). Protect other young women. This also means the family might Get blacklisted, which gives the wife another reason to wonder what happened, while you are kept out of any drama. If she contacts you directly to ask, refer her to your boss.
Anonymously tell her why he’s been fired as a client