TIFU by not locking the bathroom stall at Sprouts

This all happened about a year ago on a splendid summer evening. I live in a small hick town and my girlfriend and I decided to visit a nearby city about an hour away. They have a historic downtown area that we visited, a boot barn where I got my cowboy hat reshaped, and of course, a Sprouts grocery store. After most of our endeavors were done for the day, we decided to stop at the Sprouts before heading back home. I just wanted a quick road snack and something to drink. While there, the Dutch Bros coffee I had just drank was quickly working its way through my large intestine. I located the bathroom and told my girlfriend I’ll be right back. When I got in there, I went into the stall and immediately noticed that the door latch was a bit wonky. I attempted to lock it, and assumed I did but didn’t think much of it. There I am on the toilet peacefully showing my groundhog it’s shadow. All is smooth, all is well. After finishing I get up to get some toilet paper and bend over to begin cleaning up. Then to my horror, while in the middle of wiping my hershey highway, a poor Sprouts employee opens the poorly latched stall and stares directly into the soul of my brown eye. He screams, closes the door and rushes out of the bathroom. I quickly finished up and left the bathroom in complete horror. I find my girlfriend and tell her that we need to leave. She demands an explanation as to why but I told her I had no time to explain, we just need to go NOW.

Needless to say I will never enter a Sprouts ever again, in fear that they will have signs posted everywhere with a picture of me saying “Beware of the Butt Bandit.”

TL;DR: Went into a Sprouts to get road snacks and use the bathroom. Scared a poor Sprouts employee when they walked in on me wiping my ass and sent them screaming running for their life.