Hey fellas,
I’m single and early 30’s. No wife or kids. Wasn’t expecting life to turn out this way, always thought it would just work out and hasn’t. Got a few buddies I feel close to, but I feel lonely. Wondering if anybody else feels this way?
Hey fellas,
I’m single and early 30’s. No wife or kids. Wasn’t expecting life to turn out this way, always thought it would just work out and hasn’t. Got a few buddies I feel close to, but I feel lonely. Wondering if anybody else feels this way?
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Everyone feels this way.
https://www.menshealth.com/uk/mental-strength/a63247115/britains-loneliness-epidemic/
Also assumed that things would just work out.
They did not.
Hey mate, yes 31 no kids or partner. I feel the same although I am trying to date but the apps suck.
I also try to make more male friendships where I can but that is also a bit difficult.
Early 30s isnt shit! Youre in ur prime! Keep your head up, the worse they can say is no thanks, if so, move on to the next one.
For the most part yeah. I have 4 kids and married, but my life consists of working M-F and kids everyday in between.
Not much time for friend stuff so that side of life took a hit.
I’m over 40, same boat. No family, no kids, no SO. No friends I can actually TALK TO about stuff, but they all come to me for emotional support …
Yeah, I’m super-lonely too.
Gotta find a scene, a good bar, a team, and activity… something. And meet people.
I’ve experienced the same. This is the loneliest I’ve ever been. It’s also the most financially stable I’ve ever been. I think about the every time I get sad at just how lonely I feel.
Bro being alone has gotten me to the lowest points of my life. But I’m doing better now, I think we all go through it tbh. Hoping that you view it as freedom one day 🙏🏽
I think that’s the typical experience of people in our age bracket, especially if you were part of that college cohort in the late 00s who was that told that you’d be set for life as long as you graduated with literally any degree.
“Yeah, I’m sure everything will just fall into place if I drift through life aimlessly”. Guess I should have known better, but in my defence, I am literally retarded (not literally btw).
35 here.
aye, i’ve got friends and i’ve thankful but i’m also autistic, had a few relationships but the never worked out, i’ve got my hobbies and they keep me occupied when i’m not working but it would be nice to chill with a gf or even do “couple activities” i dot mean sex either 😂
it is what it is unfortunately 💩
Yeah same here. Thought I met someone special last year I could finally start a family but it ended horribly. So here I am, early 30s and alone again haha. What do we even do?
Yes. That’s why I come here, to commiserate with people who feel the exact same way.
Same boat, 31 and single, hopeless in dates and dating apps, it started to feel super lonely so i decided to find a job in a different country and move, so i moved, it was not a smooth road but at least now I’m occupied and has a new goal but still lonely but its secondary now that i have to think about so much to do here
Hey! 31. Single. No kids. I wouldn’t say I’m lonely necessarily but having someone to talk to on the regular or meet up for drinks would be nice. I have a few friends but they all live in different states or cities miles away from me so I do a lot of stuff by myself.
Why don’t you get a hobby to occupy your time and cut down on your loneliness? I’m a single 29M and I got classic cars as my hobby
Yes, even though I’m rarely alone.
I feel it. I’m 30 and out of a long term relationship last year. Most of my friends are either married or in serious relationships. This new chapter hasn’t been easy but I think learning how to enjoy your own company is extremely valuable so I’ve been working on that.
Yep. People in general feel pretty lonely.
I was actually doing alright until my dad passed. It’s been kind of like a black hole of despair since.
My only family largely disappeared unless they need something. My ex and I get along for our daughter but otherwise we don’t have a relationship. My daughter is a teenager and I’m not cool anymore.
And while I have close friends, I don’t see them that often, so I spend a lot of time alone walking around town, reading, gaming, or just deciding to go to work because I have nothing better to do.
I do like where I work. I don’t feel trapped here. Unfortunately, I do feel trapped by life.
I’m 41. Girlfriend and an 8 year old from my ex. I feel lonely all the time. It’s not just you.
Start trying different things and see what you like. I have fallen down many rabbit holes on YouTube. Now my interest consists of auto detailing, wrist watches, scotch and bourbon, etc. I don’t have the time to put into these hobbies since I have a family but if I was single I would be going all in. Gotta find what you like and what makes you excited
Not really tbh. Single, male, 36, divorced “recently” (’23).
Had episodes for sure, moments like crazy (especially when it dawned on me that the marriage was over and on the nearest foreign trip after). Heart wrenching.
But, I reconnected w/ purpose w/ family and friends mostly (like most weekends); active on the apps, work where I like the people, workout more, regained some hobbies; life feels full of opportunity while having plenty of me time w/ my own space. 🤷♂️
Most things are just episodes, but maybe you have to set your mind to it and go get some goal.
Not really actually. I do have a fantastic dog, which I would recommend. Solid weekend activities (cycling club) with friends which goes a long way. Chat with my dad and brother maybe 2-3x per month.
These modern monogamous relationships always have a strange and unpredictable balance of which partner has more feelings for the other, and then if it does go great and you have kids, the responsibilities and cost there are intense. And even then, having kids no guarantee of anything and IMO it is a touch irresponsible in our current environmental and political situation(s).
I’m an introvert though. I’ll always choose alone time and generally have to make a habit of doing social stuff.
Quite lonely but also very used to it by now. 35 in less than a month. Haven’t had very consistent relationships over the years. Big dry spells with no girlfriends. I travel long term currently and live abroad so the few friends I had back home I haven’t seen in years. Thank God my parents are still alive because they’re some of the only friends I have at the moment.
Edit: just wanted to clarify that even though my life is what many would consider pretty lonely.. I am also pretty content with that.
34, wife, no kids, yes
47, happily married, two kids. But otherwise very lonely my entire life. Haven’t had a friend other than my wife in over 20 years.
Yep! Divorced with 1 kid. Lonely AF. Lots of different paths lead to loneliness.
I didn’t want kids, and lost two amazing relationships over it. I don’t regret my honest decision… But sometimes I wonder about that lonely feeling.
Fact is, we need things outside of our relationships anyway. And however old you feel – you are always in your prime compared to 5 or 10 years from whatever your now is.
At 40 you’ll look at your 30s like ‘why did I think it was too late?’, in your 60s you’ll look at your 50s etc.
So instead, look forwards. Seize the moment. Dare to be vulnerable. Dare to connect.
im coming up on 50 and feel this way. I don’t even have the few buddies. pretty much nobody.
the biggest issue i have here is being politically homeless – i don’t vibe with the super left wing types, but i don’t vibe with the MAGA types either and around here there doesn’t seem to be much of a middle ground. so it’s been really hard.
no kids, i’m ok with that.
I have a wife but we aren’t getting on so well nowadays, much of it due to her alcohol abuse and complete denial about it. (lying abound drinking, falling down while drunk, getting arrested and lying to people about details, and so on.) Definitely feeling lonely and isolated because of that. Also i don’t drink alcohol, the only things that are open later around here are bars, and i don’t want to be around loud drunks. Everything nightlife here revolved around alcohol. It’s frustrating.
39M. No kids, no SO since I can even remember. Don’t even know why I’m around. Losing interest in hobbies I’ve loved since a kid. Losing interest in everything else too, for that matter. Best part of the day is when I get to go to sleep.
A couple years ago, a girl I’ve adored since we were young (we dated in our early 20’s) did me brutally and manipulated me over a period of months. It just broke something in me. Have had a lot of therapy but I think the damage is permanent.
Loneliness almost seems too small a word.
There’s an ebb and flow. You may not be where you think you should or want to be, but keep putting in the work and bettering yourself and you still can make it. A lot of guys are marrying and having children later. You can do it. If you just want to keep living that single life, then I don’t know what else you’re expecting from life.
After about 40 years you get used to it.
Yeah I felt that way in my 20s. Went out and met my wife.
You’re still young, don’t lose hope yet.
Apps are poop…real human interaction is what you need. Go out; do shit. Whatever you’re into; find people that are into those things. That’s how most relationships form.
Yep. No friends, no partner, no children. There are plenty of us out there.
It’s normal
Yeah lonely most of the time.
Ending a 5 year relationship because I actually started to give a fuck about my life and have more energy than ever to move on and meet new people
30-37 was hell for me. But at 38 I feel like myself again.
Keep pushing yourself. Exercise, hobbies, work. Whatever. Give yourself purpose because purpose will not find you.
Alone, without a current partner, yes.
But lonely, not very often… one could even say less lonely because I am not restricted.
Go out and some things you like 🙂
Yeah. 34 here, almost got married recently but it fell through. no real friends to speak of either. Most of my time is spent on my hobbies or taking care of my parents.
Only for the last 7 years or so.
I am married with kids and I don’t feel lonely in that regard but I am very lonely when it comes to friendships. It seems I have surface level friendships with multiple people but that’s it.
Would really love to have 1 or 2 close friends again
I have felt this way, even with a wife and kid. Life has a strange way of working out, Lord willing, but that doesn’t mean it can feel incredibly lonely sometimes.
Honestly, no.
Yeah, but I have 0 friends since I moved out of state, this is one of those things for one reason or another I usually don’t like to admit to myself nor anyone til recently.
39 but married and with a kid. Modern life is incredibly lonely no matter how you slice it in the US (and probably most of the West).
Volunteer and help some people out. Best way to meet people.
Get a dog. I used to be a cat person but at some point I decided it would be better for me to get a dog. And i basically got a childish brush that loves unconditionally and is always ready to prove that.
On the other hand i do understand how it might be lonely sometimes, when you can not discuss something or share your ideas or just vibe together. I think its okay untill you have at least someone to hang up.
Hell yeah. Was single till 38.
…sometimes I go searching for friends in my car and I throw up the International Sign for,
‘lets be friends‘
….everyone just seems to get angry though!
https://preview.redd.it/06gsnq8aq10f1.png?width=675&format=png&auto=webp&s=79af353b11eecabf6fefc15c4a6b3eebadd5709a
Male 37 here. Yes, sometimes. That said, having a wife won’t solve the loneliness problem because she can’t be your whole social support. Finding a men’s group worked for me. We see each other virtually once a week and in person once a month. I see another group of people once a month. You collect a few meetups like that.
I’m approaching 40, single, no kids. In a relationship, I feel lonely. At a party, I feel lonely. At home in my little apartment, I feel lonely. At work, I feel lonely. I’d be just as lonely if I were married with children, but I’d be able to more effectively distract myself from it.
It’s my fundamental existential afflication these days, and I’m increasingly at peace with it. We all have to walk home on our own. That’s fine. I’ve never really fit in, and I don’t know what it’s like to be accepted for who I am, but I know very well what it’s like to be appreciated for what I do and am capable of. Most men can relate to this.
Pretty much the only time I don’t feel lonely is when I’m in a flow state: running in the woods, attending to emergencies, and in meditation.
Yes. 32, single, occasionally date, had surface level friends when I was doing jiu jitsu for a while, and have a harder time making friends. I’ve come to accept it. Most people ain’t good friends. the idea of having good bros to eat and drink with, to laugh and BS with is there, but IDK, it seems most aren’t into it anymore.
Lonely and future prospects looking bleak. Awful combination for depression.
Trying my hardest to keep pushing through every day.
Everyday
I get it. I’m walking in those same shoes.
Watch your bank account grow, you lucky ass
Yeah bro. Got a wife and a daughter. Still lonely.
A lot of us, man. Too many.
39, and I have a dog at least
56, married twice, kid’s grown up. Single, and this was not my plan. It sucks. Stay busy. Get outside and do stuff. The dating apps suck, but unfortunately they’re a necessary evil.