I told someone

I (31F) told someone important to me what I was going through. That I’d been crying for several weeks, and that I’d been passively suicidal for at least a year.

I told them of a huge mistake I’ve done. Of how I’ve been beating myself up over it and wanting to leave this life and disappear.

I expected them to be disappointed or hurt.

They told me not to listen to the terrible voices. They were genuinely shocked about the suicidal part, that I had thought the people around me would be better off…

I assured them I was going to get help, to commit to therapy. I made a promise to them.

I feel lighter.

I know this might not be possible for everyone. Not everyone has someone who might understand. All I can say is, I wish everyone the best.