Alright I gotta ask this as it’s been driving me wild whether I was in the wrong here. It’s last call at the bar last night. I finish my beer. I go to the bathroom. There’s a guy in there already peeing in one of the urinals. There is one other urinal and an open toilet stall. I go to the urinal next to the guy, and he…loses his shit.
“Who comes and pees in the urinal next to someone when there’s an open stall. I just wanted some privacy. What’s wrong with you?”
I tell him the urinal is for peeing and the toilet is for taking a shit. It’s nothing personal.
Is this normal? Am I supposed to piss in the stall in this situation so everyone gets their much needed privacy?
More context would be I am a 38 year old white guy this guy was a mid 20s African American.
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He was drunk, and looking for a fight.
You did fine.
If it wasn’t meant to be used at the same time, there’d only be one
Normal etiquette in that situation is to maintain firm eye contact when using the other urinal.
Sounds like a him thing, not a you thing. I wouldn’t spend another second thinking about this unless it’s to laugh at how ridiculous this man was being.
I’d probably go to the stall personally but I definitely wouldn’t comment to someone if they walked up next to me. Other dude was a little extra.
guys an idiot, if he wanted privacy he should have used the stall in the first place
If the guy really wanted privacy then he would have used the stall. He was being a dick.
If he wanted privacy, why didn’t he go in the stall. Much more private in there.
Should’ve pissed between his legs in the same urinal as him
The correct etiquette is to turn to talk to him, then peeing on his feet. Tho at that point saying he’s right probably won’t be accepted as an apology.
Drunk and homophobic, trying to bait you into a fight
I would quietly wonder why you chose the urinal next to me instead of the stall.
He went to a public bathroom for privacy? Next time just look down at his dick and compliment it then tell him he has nothing to be ashamed of.
Seems odd to me to turn down a perfectly good toilet in favour of a urinal.
Especially one located next to a pissing man.
Yes, normal etiquette is NOT to use the urinal next to someone, there’s always a gap of one urinal between persons, and in your case you should have used the stall. Ethnicity does not matter, this etiquette is universal. Flipping out was a bit too much, but ultimately understandable.
Edit: I find it hard to believe the comments in here, every single man I know will agree that one never uses a urinal next to someone already using one, there must always be a “one urinal gap”.
Should have replied “if you wanted privacy you should have used the stall”. But otherwise you were fine. The general rule of urinals is if you can you leave a gap between yourself and the next person you should, but it sounds like that wasn’t an option, so it was fine.
I can’t use urinals because my anxiety disorder, i need privacy so i use the stalls. This guy was just trying to start a fight.
Etiquette is to step up to the urinal, unzip, and proclaim loudly “So THIS is where all the dicks hang out.”
If he wanted privacy he should have used the stall.
I would have told him that if my winker was that small, I’d want privacy too.
It’s called internalized homophobia.
The guy is an idiot. Anyone with a brain knows there is very little privacy in a multiple urinal bathroom. If he wanted privacy he could use the toilet stall.
He might just be racist.
You did the right thing. Even if it want a bar.
People are WAYYYYYY too uptight about bathroom use. We’re all here to pee, stop being so worried some is going to look at your dick. You’re not going to turn gay because someone peed next to you.
American male bathroom culture is wild and prudish.
If he wanted privacy, he should have chosen the PRIVATE stall. It’s not on you to read his mind.
The rule in my mind has always been “If there are other options, never pee in the urinal directly next to someone”
You’re fine. He was inappropriate. I always prefer an empty urinal next to me, but I also don’t use a stall to avoid standing next to someone else. Has that guy never peed at Wrigley Field? LOL, its like a horse water drinking thing and everyone stands next to each other and pees into it. https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–a_TAajgH–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/18j4wiv5cf859jpg.jpg
one time a guy started peeing in the urinal next to me and proceeded to offer me a bump of coke. right then and there. dicks out
Normal etiquette here would have been for you to use the stall, standing without closing the door.
However after your faux-pas, he broke etiquette in speaking with you.
You’re fine, he was drunk and prioritizing weird things in his head.
My response would have been to shift slightly closer, cock my head slightly, and say “but… but I just want to be close to you…”.
Would that have caused a fight? Almost definitely.
Would I have won the confrontation even if I had lost the fight? Also definitely.
That’s ridiculous. It sounds like he thinks he’s all that and everyone wants a peek.
Perhaps you could have given him a nice compliment like “hey, I like your watch” or something. Maybe he would have been more friendly then. /s
The eco friendly etiquette is to piss in the sink.
The hill I want to die on today:
Urinal etiquette has become some of the most manufactured, problematic fragile male bullshit in recent memory. What started as an internet joke has become something completely different and continuing to propagate it is embarrassing.
Not specifically answering this question, but I do always wonder about two urinal stances:
1: The guy who puts his hands or his fists on his hips, slightly back curved spine, as if he is the Admiral surveying the wide ocean before him! 😆
And 2: the guy who is all bent over as if in amazement at his own genitalia or does not wish to do this very complex task wrong because y’know, using a urinal can be quite a challenge! What if he misses all together – he’s several inches from the porcelain?! 😱
I think the unwritten rule is to piss in the stall. However it’s wild that he got crazy about it.
As someone who is almost 40! I just wouldn’t give a fuck what this guy said. I have to piss man shut the fuck up and maybe remind him there is another un written rule about talking to each other with dicks in our hand
Ask him to hold your dick so you can finish your beer.
Guys who get so uptight about stuff like that fascinate me. They think every guy is in the bathroom to look at their dick or something. You did nothing wrong. Some guys are just ridiculous
IMO either is acceptable. Seldom are people shitting at a bar at last call but imo it is 100% acceptable to go to the urinal and piss next to the guy. If he feels there isn’t privacy, I’ll assume there is no divider and he needs to take that up with the bar management.
This is a stretch but, maybe he has a bashful bladder and was frustrated that you stood by him.
I used to have that problem and it sucks you have to piss so bad that it hurts yet you can’t pee no matter how hard you try.
But if I was in his situation I would have used the stall.
Never in my life have I had someone get mad about using an open urinal
I personally would’ve went to the stall.
BUT if I went to the urinal, and that guy did the same thing. I’ll act as if they didn’t exist, finish my business and leave.
What a freak. He must have been embarrassed of his tiny peen, or he was jerking off, both which HE should have used the stall. Urinals are for social peeing and high fiving stangers.
What was that movie? “Hey man. Nice pubes.”
The toilet stall is for doing cocaine.
I wouldve said ” well there’s an open stall if you want privacy, and I don’t like it when people raise their voice at me, do you understand me?”
Talking of any kind while we are both peeing is wild.
I’d be “pissed” if I came in to take a crap and it was taken by a dude pissing when there’s a perfectly good urinal available.
I think you were fine. I can see logic behind the idea that you should’ve used the stall, but I don’t think it was necessary. It was a far greater faux pas, IMO, that he spoke to you unnecessarily from the urinal. Speaking in the men’s room should only happen if necessary, especially from a toilet or urinal.
Furthermore, while a man usually shouldn’t ever show his dick to anyone in the men’s room, he also shouldn’t act like it’s a big deal if someone sees it accidentally. The appropriate attitude is “I have no need to show it and no need to hide it.”
Take reasonable precautions for privacy, and if someone sees you, shrug and say “Yeah, it’s not easy to be discrete with so much meat.”*
*Don’t say it out loud; this is internal commentary. We don’t make unnecessary comments in the bathroom.
As you said, urinal is for peeing. Only use the stall if you are going for a 2, or everywhere else is full.
Dude was a weirdo.
You were well within your rights to use the open urinal. Having said that, I personally would have just used the stall but that’s just due to my aversion to whipping my cock out in close proximity to another guy.
Nah he’s a clown if he wanted privacy he shoulda peed in the cubical no?
Well, let’s put it this way…do you honestly think that guys who run the bar don’t know how to set up their pisser?
Guy was totally out of line.
Probably had a micropenis.
Dude was out of line and probably likes cock but won’t admit it.
If he wanted privacy he could go to the stall. Insecure AH.
I would have used the stall if I were you, and I also would have been bothered if you didn’t, if I were him, but not enough to actually say something.
I kinda just use the stalls always, anyways.
Guy overreacted for sure.
People are going nuts right now because they’re running out of credit
He lost his shit. He should have taken the stall. That’s what the stall was for.
Tell him if he was going to lose his shit, the best place for him to do that was the stall.
You should have just told him you wanted to see if his was bigger than yours
Yeah, I would piss in the stall.
Sounds like an idiot who’s addicted to memes and took the “Men’s restroom etiquette” meme too seriously. If anything they’re more like guidelines really.
Should of handed him a pink lighter
Dude was an idiot, you’re fine.
The dude could have taken the stall himself if he needed privacy. Best to ignore this stuff. Not worth your mental energy to think about.
It’s him, not you.
What’s worse than picking a urinal right next to a guy? Talking to stranger while both peeing.
His violation was worse.
he is an idiot
if both urinals were taken, then you take a piss in the stall
but not if one urinal is open
That guy is a weirdo , you did nothing wrong
That guy is a weirdo , you did nothing wrong
That guy is a weirdo , you did nothing wrong
He’s an asshole. Personally, I probably would’ve gone to the stall. But that’s just me. There’s nothing wrong with going to an open urinal.
He’s insecure and looking to start shit.
He’s fucked up.
I mean, I definitely would have gone to the stall in that situation but it’s weirder for him to say something about your choice than it is for you to select the urinal.
What country are you in? Apparently, if you are in the UK, this is the common perspective. I have friends in the UK, and have been “scolded” for going into the bathroom and standing next to my friend at the urinals instead of using the stall. He was nice about it, and phrased it as “is it common in the US to stand next to someone at the urinals when there is an empty stall?”. I can’t imagine what his reaction would be if he saw the piss troughs in many of the dive bars I have been in. Guys lined up, shoulder to shoulder, attempting to pee without crossing the streams….
Transman here. Please use the urinal when you are comfortable because sometimes I have to pee as well and the urinal is not an option for me.
But really this dude was drunk. If he wanted/needed privacy he should have been in the stall
I’m a shy peeer, one time at a sandwich shop after bar close I came out of a bathroom stall swinging a plunger at a couple guys who stopped to chat in front of the sink in a two holer. I gave em warning first. But I wouldn’t be mad if you peed next to me if the other option was a stall. That guy was being a dick.
Don’t bother. That guy had a little peepee.
I’d have fake startled, and yelled “Oh shit!! Didn’t see you there buddy!” Extra points if you can startle him enough that he pisses on his pants.
If there’s one urinal free, you use it. Save stalls for people with chunkier business, especially at the end of the night.
If he wanted privacy he should’ve used the stall. Fuck that guy
I went to a stadium for a ballgame this maybe 30 yrs ago. They only had the trough and it was U shaped. They were guys shoulder and all the stalls were full. No one seemed to care they done their business and left. That dude would have had a nervous breakdown in that situation. That’s when I learned it’s a dick and every guy has one. No big deal.
I think you are good. If I need to poop I would be very happy that someone who just needs to pee didn’t take the stall.
I would have gone in the stall
You should have reminded him that everything will be alright as long as you guys don’t let the streams cross.
He was an idiot.
You could have responded with…’who talks to people while at the urinal? I just wanted some peace while peeing, what is wrong with you?’
Urinal Etiquette
In all seriousness, he was drunk and is probably homophobic. The whole “empty urinal between dudes peeing thing” is squarely and purely rooted in homophobia.
I would have used to stall. I try to leave a space whenever peeing.
That’s a psycho
no idea why you included the races here, but what you did was fine
Fuck him. If he wanted privacy he could have used the stall toilet
You don’t take a urinal next to someone when there is another urinal option but to get mad about not using a stall is weak. Granted I will sometimes use the stall in this situation but I wouldn’t get annoyed if someone else did not.
Black men are different when it comes to personal space and masculine territory ✌🏾
He should’ve used the stall if he wanted privacy.
I mean, it would have been overly courteous to use the stall, but by no means is it expected or are you in the wrong for using the urinal. He should have used the stall if he was that worried about someone peeing next to him. Maybe he suffers from stage fright.
You were correct, urinals are for pissing
Cross the streams Ray!
I take the middle urinal because power move 💪
Peter peeper
You were right and wrong.
General protocol in multi-urinal situations is to skip one.
In this case, the stall.
But it’s not wrong to use the adjacent urinal…just awkward.
It’s an unwritten rule. But generally only good friends/bros stand shoulder to shoulder to piss in the trough style, or adjacent pissers.
Skipping one also keeps your neighbor from dribbling on yer shoes.
> I tell him the urinal is for peeing and the toilet is for taking a shit.
Wrong.
However, I agree with everyone that the dude was drunk looking for a fight.
After he says he wanted some privacy, look him in the eyes and say I just didn’t want to be alone. He could have went in the stall if he needed privacy
When he said he wanted privacy – “yes, I can see why’, and maintain eye contact.
Though i have rarely seen it…… Unless its a trough type urinal?
Did it have a privacy divider (like most?) if so, you did nothing wrong…… Like wtf,
Even if it didnt?….. Still weird for him to go off?
This is why I don’t use public bathrooms unless it’s an emergency.
You did nothing wrong.
I know sign language so I would have pretended to be deaf and never acknowledged the mfer
He was being a drunk asshole and probably looking for a reason to fight someone. Loser mentality, you didn’t do anything wrong.
I peed at a gay bar once and the bathroom had a toilet and urinal and no doors. So one person to each seemed normal. When I was peeing into the toilet, another dude just straight up joined. I’m still unsure if that’s considered normal or not at a place like that.
I can’t imagine what your dude would have done if that happened to him.
It’s why I hate a urinal and always take the stall. Very rarely will someone end up in there next to me
If you want privacy use a stall! Am not insecure about my junk!