What will happen to all these men on OLD when they’re much older?

r/

I’ve done online dating for probably almost a decade. The relationships that I’ve been in which were successful (in that they were good guys, but didn’t want the same things or had to move across country for jobs) stemmed from meeting in person, through friends or jobs.

I go on an app called Tea a lot to see if anyone I meet through OLD is on there, with red flags. Most are.

But it made me wonder – the TONS of men with red flags – what do they expect will happen when they reach 40, 50, 60+ with no relationships, no family, etc. Do they think they can just continue to hook up ad infinitum until they’re being pushed around in the nursing home? Do they not think of the future?

Comments

  1. DamnGoodMarmalade Avatar

    I do not spend a second of my life worrying about random ass men. That’s time better spent elsewhere.

  2. EconomyAfternoon6099 Avatar

    They want women to be so afraid of dying alone but they’re the ones in a loneliness epidemic 😂

  3. Juniperarrow2 Avatar

    People with red flags still get into relationships. Just not healthy ones.

    Also, nursing homes and senior communities have some of the highest rates of STDs. They still find sex and dates as they get older.

  4. freckyfresh Avatar

    I cannot begin to express how little I care.

  5. somuchsong Avatar

    Sounds like a them problem.

  6. Antique-Patient-1703 Avatar

    Well…ya.

    There’s always someone that will lower the bar

  7. AXX-100 Avatar

    Some will stay in the same cycle – for as long as they can. Some will trap some young 25 year old who knows no better until it’s too late.
    I’ve met a man recently who was old 57 chasing young women (20s 30s) thinking he still had a chance to become a father – the denial was crazy.

  8. sodarnclever Avatar

    I mean… perception is in the eye of the beholder, one persons red flag (too clingy or seemingly disinterested) can be another persons’ green flag….
    I met my now husband OLD and personally know of a decent amount of relationships that have started there and taken flight.

    The real issue is that people need to get back to communicating with eachother. That’s my opinion anyways. So much ghosting and making assumptions based on perceptions that are never really discussed or validated.

  9. thebrittaj Avatar

    They’ll come crawling back of course. They’ll realize their mistakes. They’ll be hung up on the one woman who keeps popping in their head, who they treated like shit, who they wish they could get back.

    But she will have moved waaay on, be healed, happy, loved abundantly.

    So instead he will find someone he tolerates, marry her, and treat her like shit the rest of their lives together. Maybe not total shit. But he won’t love her like true love and he’ll be unhappy.

    Don’t be that woman. Be the one who got away.

  10. lmindanger Avatar

    You would sadly be surprised about how many old men in nursing homes are still massive horn dogs who chase after the women there and sexually harass/assault female workers.

    Nursing home residents have extremely high rates of stds. Sex doesn’t stop just cause you hit a certain age.

    So yes, they will still embarrassingly be chasing after women until they’re mentally the age of a child or physically unable.

  11. RegretNecessary21 Avatar

    My ex is one of these. He thought he was much younger than he was and operated as if he were decades younger. My guess is thinking about the future doesn’t cross his mind. Last I heard he was up to the same antics on OLD- lying about his age to get to a younger demographic.

  12. Next_Firefighter7605 Avatar

    They turn into my brother in law. He goes clubbing and hits on girls young enough to be his daughter then gets turned down while being too wasted to realize that the girls are grossed out. He films his weird club adventures while being completely oblivious then posts them on Facebook in between q-anon rants.

  13. Cloak97B1 Avatar

    Some people (across the world) see it as a serious national problem. And by “it” I mean the lack of social skills , leading to less people becoming couples & having families. In the last 2 decades, Japan closed 6,500 grade schools ; because there weren’t enough children. I think, for decades (in the US) more & more boys are lacking social skills and compassion for others. This has led to a generation of men who are not capable of having a healthy relationship. And the result of that is, many of them will die alone and without children. And our population will decrease, as it has been.

  14. nidena Avatar

    You should take a glimpse at the “dating over forty” and “dating over fifty” communities. There are a few of them.

  15. AdHorror7596 Avatar

    “The relationships that I’ve been in which were successful (in that they were good guys, but didn’t want the same things or had to move across country for jobs) stemmed from meeting in person, through friends or jobs.”

    I’m happy for you, but some of us don’t have good luck “out in the wild”. I’ve actually had way better luck on dating apps. It was so difficult for me to meet men before I started using dating apps. There were barely any opportunities to. It’s not like men would ask me out randomly or anything. There are a lot of posts like this—-complaining about dating apps. I don’t know what to tell you—I’ve met some really great guys on dating apps, and I’ve come far closer to “my type” on the apps than I ever have in person and meeting through other people. I don’t know why everyone has to shit on online dating all the time. I honestly feel like other women look down on me for using dating apps.

  16. redwood_canyon Avatar

    I don’t know if they are all a red flag. My brother who is mid 30s and genuinely wants to meet and connect with someone has not been able to find someone. And I really worry about him spending his life alone without the family he wants. I think in general, these people are looking for something/genuine connection and that is why they are on the apps. Obviously men who are grown-up fuck boys and play with women’s feelings with no intention of commitment/emotional attachment are a different story… and should get therapy.

  17. Gilmoregirlin Avatar

    They will be trying to date women in their 20s and 30s and becoming angry and bitter that not only do women their own age not want them, the women in their 20s and 30s don’t either.

  18. pommeG03 Avatar

    I have some insight on this.

    My father is an abusive alcoholic asshole in his late 60s. He has barely any redeeming qualities anymore, and yet he has never had trouble finding women who think they can fix him. He’s had dozens of girlfriends since my mother kicked him out.

    His most recent girlfriend, a recent widow of a 40 year long marriage, called my siblings in a panic. She was flipping out because he was so drunk he passed out (literally a nightly occurrence for him), and when she tried to take him to the hospital, he ran out of her moving vehicle and out into the rainy night. She could not fathom why we didn’t want to help her go find him and get him help.

    She’ll learn what we already know, and when/if she finds the strength to move on, he’ll find another woman who hasn’t learned to identify red flags yet. Rinse and repeat.

    As long as there are women who are willing to put up with these men, they’ll never be alone.

  19. Active-Cloud8243 Avatar

    This reminds me of a time my mother was dating in her 50s and she asked the staff at Olive Garden if she could use the kitchen to exit her date. She literally exited the kitchen and out the back door, and then sent him a text saying she couldn’t do it. He was just too foul and wouldn’t stop saying inappropriate stuff.

  20. owls_exist Avatar

    Every single day I stay single and do as I please is a day one of those men goes without a wife or free house cleaner. And I gotta say I feel pretty good.

  21. wulfzbane Avatar

    They travel to SE Asia or Eastern Europe to creep on women of a lower economic status than them.

  22. norfnorf832 Avatar

    If theyre that bad then they dont need to burden a family lol besides elder orphan…ism…is a real thing in the age of divorce as the population ages and people had fewer kids, some of em form communities but i mostly hear about single childfree women doing that, the men die alone in their armchair for a neighbor to call in a welfare check sbout in 7 weeks

  23. Prettylittlelioness Avatar

    Some of my friends are having their divorced/single fathers try to move in with them. (My friend who is 36 has her father living in a casita in her backyard and is beginning to realize he’ll be on her hands until he dies. He literally is the old dude on dating apps hitting on 30somethings.) My ex’s uncle (childless) moved in with his very elderly mother, inherited her house when she died, and deteriorated so badly on his own that the younger women in the family were pressured to take him in or bring meals to him.

    I currently have a former coworker who’s in his 50s and he’s generously decided I and a few other women he knows are worthy of a chance at his affections…. Since his 3 decades chasing a very specific type (had height, weight, facial features and coloring all mapped out) got him nothing. My coloring and height are all wrong for him but he’s willing to overlook it. What a prince! I couldn’t be less interested and I bet the other women he’s “settling for” aren’t either.

    These guys do not have reasonable expectations. They live in a fantasy and unfortunately, they sometimes have enablers telling them that beautiful young soulmate is out there for them.

  24. hihelloneighboroonie Avatar

    The Villages, a town in central Florida for retirees, has the highest rates of stds in the country.

    So yes, they will still be flopping their wrinkly, expired meat about town.

  25. WetwareDulachan Avatar

    The miserable lives of miserable men are simply not my fucking problem.

  26. MissChimCham Avatar

    They’ll probably just drink themselves to death.

  27. notme1414 Avatar

    They don’t change. I’m 59. The guys in their 60s on OLD are usually just the same red flags that they were 20 years ago. They are generally just as gross as their younger counterparts and are only looking for ONS. Either that or they are looking for someone to take care of them.

  28. Lythaera Avatar

    I think a lot of them will realize there aren’t as many women willing to date them as they thought. They’ll continue being bitter and lonely, and die younger because of it.

  29. JigglyTestes Avatar

    Why do you assume everyone needs a relationship?

  30. WaltFlanFan Avatar

    A lot of them go to Asia. It’s creepy, but they look happy. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJIUX8DPzwC/

  31. hcheong808 Avatar

    There’s a trend where they go to Asian countries like Thailand to find wives now.

  32. Ill-Orange8533 Avatar

    At this point in life, I don’t care what happens to them, I just hope they don’t ruin a good woman’s life.

    People who are cruel and mistreats others don’t end with happy lives, even if karma comes from different directions than the ones they projected their venom towards.

  33. n0tz0e Avatar

    Watch The Later Daters. There are absolutely trash men in their 60s & 70s still acting like asshole and treating women as objects. STIs are common in retirement communities. Men be gross no matter the age.