How did you two meet?
I’m 37 and recently single after the person I thought I was spending the rest of my life with up and dumped me out of the blue.
I’m not ready to date yet, but when I am, the thought of online dating again TERRIFIES me and I don’t want to go through that again. I’m hoping to hear some cute stories/ideas of how you randomly came about meeting your partner, so I have hope when I’m ready to go on that journey again.
Any ideas on where someone like me can find love again?
Thank you!!
Comments
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Don’t online date.
If you’re terrified of dating, you should avoid it.
Just take the time to focus on you, your goals, and loved ones. Maybe try something new or pick up a new hobby.
Just live life and enjoy yourself. That’s honestly the best vibe and time to attract the right person for you.
You don’t have to or need to date.
I met my current partner on reddit. We are friends and hopefully will always be friends.
We have a lot in common. He decided to dm me after reading my post, reviewed my comments and knew we would get along.
We haven’t been together long but I just visited him in his country last week and it went really well. He’s a great person and we will continue to vibe and visit each other when we can.
He doesn’t like to force things. Honestly the best things happen when its natural. So do not force dating.
Take care 💖🙏🏽
Sorry, we met the old fashioned way- online.
I was 37 and slid into his DMs 😅
He runs an IG account on issues I care about and since we had mutual friends, his posts kept popping up. We started chatting and a couple months later, he also organized a weekly zoom game nights with mutual friends.
Neither of us was looking to date and we lived in different cities so this was a slowburn. We finally admitted we had feelings for each other after I had minor surgery and couldn’t do our regular video chats for a few days. We both realized we missed each other more than we should and it’s been the happiest, best relationship I’ve ever had. He’s still my best friend and the friendship also means that we didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of the early stages of dating.
Tinder.
I rented the garden apartment in her townhouse.
I needed accessibility due to my wheelchair but unfortunately NYC isn’t the greatest place to look if you have a disability. We had a mutual friend who mentioned my girlfriend had a garden apartment for rent (no steps, walk-in shower, large entrances). We started being friends early on, whenever she was going out to the store she asked if I’d need anything and when I finally started Grey’s Anatomy she joined me watching every episode. We opened up to each other and became more after an intense few months where I was the only one around to give her the support she needed.
My husband left me last year at 37. So I found myself in a very similar position. Terrified of online dating after all of the horror stories you can find on the internet.
IME, it really hasn’t been bad. I’ve been having fun with it, and I’m not even a hookup person.
I just recently met someone on Hinge that I am super excited about. After a year of filtering through profiles and going on dates with 3 other men. It’s very early, but even knowing that I can connect with someone like this from an app gives me tons of confidence that I can find love again. If it’s not him, I’ll spend another year finding the next right one (but I’m hoping it’s him 🤭).
I say, don’t rule out the apps until you try them – just go into it with the expectation that it might take a while, and you’ll probably have some bad dates in the meantime and that’s ok.
I’m hopeful for you. I think you’ll be ok ☺️ Good luck, OP.
A long-running online discussion forum. I joined way back in 2004, he joined in 2015. For the first three years of him being around, he was basically just a username on a screen. We struck up a friendship in 2018, around the time we’d both got out of unfulfilling marriages. Nothing but friends at first, and I actually had another brief relationship somewhere in there. Then my ex-girlfriend and I split up too, and he and I had been increasingly getting closer emotionally, mostly through forum messages and emails. Still as friends, nothing happening between us, but I did slowly realise I was falling in love. Still had never met in person yet; he lived in the UK, I’m in Canada. Then things got… unexpectedly not platonic lol, one evening early in the pandemic when we were having some drinks and chatting on Skype. (I was 35 then, 40 now.) The TL;DR is that we’ve been together ever since. After a number of pretty lengthy visits, he moved here last November. We’re getting married on the 17th of this month, the exact day of our five-year anniversary.
Probably not an approach likely to work for most people unless you already have an online friend you’re in love with and are willing to do long-distance for an indefinite period of time till someone can relocate lol, but that’s how it worked out for me.
I was 42 and we met at work. Together 22 years.
I went through something similar. Dated an asshole who never intended to marry me. Once conflict came up he bailed. He dumped me one day and we haven’t spoken since. After six years mind you. I was devastated because I was 34 and was so sure he was my one chance at love and starting a family. I was so mad that I had invested SO much time in someone who was never committed to me. The breakup was incredibly hard, but in less than a week I started going out with the intent to restart my life and make some new friends. I refuse to let the pain and grief stop me from restating a new life. I was like “I’ll do it crying but I’ll do it!”.
I took dancing classes and in one of the socials, I met a guy who was also going through a breakup. We decided to commiserate and helped each other through our breakups and through getting ourselves back out there. Six months later we caught feelings and started a relationship with our friendship as the foundation. It’s been SO great and it’s really convinced me that love just finds you when you least expect it if you put yourself out there.
Good luck, you’ve got this!
We met at hobby community events. I had dropped online dating and was dating offline, as in I wasn’t on the prowl, but I would mentally take note of attractive men I met in the wild and pay attention to how they behave. Are they always after women? Are they bro-ish around other guys? Big drinkers? Do they associate with decent people? That way I wasn’t just trying to figure out a stranger from scratch – I had at least some idea of who they were and that we had chemistry.
But it does require you to go out into your community on a regular basis to work best.
A mutual friend invited both of us to a group dinner at a restaurant. We weren’t seated near each other but I vaguely noticed him but we didn’t get a chance to talk.
Then afterwards, we went to a bar and were seated across from each other and then he asked me a few questions and we chatted with the group.
That was it and i didn’t think much of it until a week later, he had found my Instagram and slid into my DMs.
We were just friends first at my request and I told him no after he asked if we could start dating. We stayed friends and then i started dating online and realized that I much preferred to hang with him after these lackluster dates. Lol
It helps to have single friends a bit younger so they can bring you to things that you don’t wanna go to. lol
Just turned 39. Met when I was 37.
On Hinge.
I actually met my partner on Reddit. I wasn’t looking for anything at the time. My car was randomly vandalized with eggs overnight, and I made a post about it on a car subreddit asking for advice on how to fix the paint damage the eggs caused. My now boyfriend commented about paint repair, we started a chat, and realized that we actually lived in the same city. We met in a public place, one thing led to another, and the rest is history!
I know it sounds cliche, but I feel like sometimes it does happen when you’re not searching for it. At least that’s what happened in my case.
Met him at a wedding age 33. We were both with other people. The chemistry was obvious enough we walked away after our conversation and ensured not to exchange contact details etc. I remember thinking, “just put that out of your mind, that one’s taken”.
A year later, saw him on Tinder and swiped right. First conversation was hilarious, to the effect of – oh, we are both single now are we? How nice, where are we meeting for a date?
We have a kid now, aged 4.
Met my fiancé at 35. I was a widow at 30. Online dating was fun and weird and horrible all kinds of different situations. I mostly was amused by it all. Met my guy and he was a widow too! Unbelievable the universe led us together.
I took up bouldering and top rope climbing as a hobby by attending a locally organized meet up. Met him there, we became friends in a small group that met up to climb together once or twice a week. After a few months, we were both going to the same movie watch party and I asked him if I could snuggle up next to him for the movie. Then the chair we were sitting in was so small, I basically climbed in his lap instead. We’ve been dating since.
I found my partner at 40. We didn’t meet online, we’ve known each other most of our lives. We just connected after he divorced. We are currently settled into a routine of spending every weekend together. He has 2 children which has been new for me as I have none. But they like me and I like them. Someday we will blend households but for now we’re all happy as we are. I also got lucky, my very judgey friends love him bc he’s always been their friend too.
I did online dating for a long time. Had some ok experiences, lots of just first dates, many entertaining stories and no really bad stories.
You get what you put into it. If you stick to being picky and keeping expectations low- it can be a useful tool to meet people.
I met my boyfriend in a FB fan group for a band we both love. We traveled to the same show and connected as friends. After the trip, we stayed in touch and about a month later- he came to visit me. That was almost a year and a half ago and even though we are long distance- we see each other regularly and it’s an amazing relationship.
Met when I was 34 on Hinge! The apps have their pros and cons but I really don’t have any horror stories, just a string of nice enough guys who weren’t a match until I met the right one.
I was working at Chinese take out spot and his work mate called in an order
Fate works in mysterious ways
Don’t doubt the right thing will find you
I met him at a boat party my male friend took me too. We’ve been together almost two years. 39F
Online dating. Sorry. Basically all my friends who met their partners at 30+ met them online. Random meet cutes are nice, but they get harder to come by with age.
Have you tried a dating coach? They typically help you process past relationships, teach you about your attachment style, help you articulate the partner you want and how to send that message in the right way so you attract someone who shares your values. It is a bit of an investment financially, but it really helped me get over my past relationship trauma, heal, and stay open to the right person. I’m married now and found my person 🥰
Tinder 🥳🤗🤭
i met the love of my life on tinder when i was 35, we’ve been together for 6 years now
I met mine when I was 34 (just about to be 35) on tinder, so I don’t have a meet cute story. 🤷♀️
Restaurant in a foreign country while we were both on our respective holiday.
My husband passed away at the very beginning of the year. Two years of being a caregiver broke me. And out of the blue his friend changed my life around. Yes we are crazy in love. You just don’t know what awaits around the corner !!!
I met my partner walking my dog on the same route I had walked for 2 years. I was 37.
Here’s the thing. You will get a lot of answers from people who met their partner in their mid/late 30s, but like at least five to ten years ago, if not more. The dating landscape/culture and the way we relate to each other has changed a looot, so, to be honest, these anecdotes won’t say much about your chances. I say this as someone in the same boat as you. At the end of the day, your chances depend on how lucky you get (pun intended). Just because someone who was 35 15 years ago found their partner thrift shopping or something, when they weren’t even looking anymore (🙄), doesn’t mean that others will.
I met my ex at an outing through a mutual hobby. Met my current boyfriend online. I also wasn’t feeling like chatting to strangers, but luckily we matched the first day I made the (new) profile, right before I hid it.
I met my spouse on an online dating platform 24 years ago. Before I joined, I had decided that I wanted to find a partner, so I became a member, answered the intro questions, and started perusing the profiles of possible matches. I had decided to keep the process light, fun, and honest, and it was. I created an index card for each person I contacted, took notes, meet several in person, dated one for a couple of months, stop seeing him, then scheduled a meet-up with my future husband after exchanging several emails. 17 months after we met, we got married. The really cool part is that about six months into dating, he told me he had dreamt my face before we ever met. Oh! I was 39 when we married.
I would try speed dating or single events, that’s how I met my last boyfriend. You can meet people in person before exchanging any details.
I met my boyfriend on Hinge last year summer. I was 37 and he was 34. We had a good number of dates before we even kissed. Turns out we live in in the same borough and are a bus ride from each other, which was insane! Been in a relationship with each other for several months now and things are good.
All the best to you OP.
You won’t like my answer: Tinder. 37. He was 42.
After the end of a long-term relationship, I needed a place to live. I rented his mother’s studio apartment. He ended up being my neighbor. We were friends first. We went from seeing each other once a week to three times a week to going to Canada for a hockey game, to confessing that we were each other’s endgame, to deciding to date. Then we got married and bought a condo and have a cat. Life can really surprise you.
Met him at a boardgaming meetup group. Wasn’t looking for anything, wasn’t expecting to meet anyone. Then, all of a sudden, there he was. We just had our 9th anniversary a couple months ago.
Met my husband at 34 on Facebook dating 5 years ago. Was reluctant to join it but soo glad I did. I knew in our first conversation I’d found my guy.
Met him at a local board game group that I had just joined.
I met my husband at a bar! Seems like such an old school way to meet people now.
It was around 6 months before the pandemic and I saw him, thought he was very handsome, my friend and I approached his group and introduced ourselves. We had a really great chat, got some drinks, danced, got his number and he arranged a date with me the following weekend.
31 here and still single, but reading stories like here gives hope. I may not have found my person yet, but I’m trusting that love will find its way—maybe even when I least expect it. To all the ladies who’ve found their partners later in life, thank you for reminding us that it’s never too late. ❤️✨
I love online dating and had been doing it off and on since the early 2000s. I love having the ability to use search parameters. Being in my age bracket, with similar politics, looking for a long-term relationship, and childfree were my non-negotiables.
I was 37 during the pandemic and matched with a cutie on OkCupid. Our first date was with my dog at the dog park. He texted me that he got there a little early and there was bad reception, so he wanted me to know he was there in case he wasn’t able to answer the phone. I thought that was really sweet.
We had fun and went on a few more outdoor dates since we were both Covid cautious. The night before our 4th date I broke both of my arms in a roller skating accident and had to go to the ER. I texted him by pecking at the phone like a T-Rex. He drove from an hour away to sit in an emergency waiting room during the height of the pandemic. The doctor who dismissed me asked if that was my husband, and I said it was just some dude from OkCupid. We both laughed and he said after tonight I would either never hear from that guy again or we’d end up married.
My arms were in 2 slings. I didn’t even have the ability to open a door. If he didn’t show up, I don’t even know how I would have gotten home. For the next 6 weeks this man stayed with me and helped me shower and get dressed, got us food, walked my dog, drove me to my followup orthopedist appointments. Sometimes I would cry and apologize that he had to do all this for me (thankfully I had just enough mobility to use the toilet!), and he said he was just happy he could be there for me.
We got engaged a year later and married shortly after. Celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary this past Valentine’s Day.
Met my now husband at 37. I met him through online dating. I had a generally overall positive experience with online dating but I was very, very selective. Check out the burned haystack dating method for some good tips.
F
I was 37 when I met mine , who is was 31 (I know it felt a little weird) my husband of 14 years passed and I was a widow at 35, I took my time to work thru my pain and grief (it never truly ends)but after about 2.5 years I was ready to try to start dating again. My youngest kiddo kept telling me I needed to “get out there again”. Lol so since I already had Facebook I decided to try Facebook dating, and I met my chapter 2 on FB lol we been together 5 years now. Just be patient love. It will happen!
Started dating my partner when I was 40. We had known each other for 10 years as barely friends (we would see each other at community gatherings and events). Always had a tiny crush on her and now we are building a life together. Life is often unexpected. Hang in there, OP.
Tinder
I couldn’t stand online dating, but decided to get on it again while on a work trip in a new city. I also wanted to see if I would hit it off enough with someone to have a one-night stand in a five-star hotel room I would otherwise never be able to afford.
I didn’t go into it with any expectations and ended up meeting my soon-to-be husband. Long distance dating sucks but he is moving across the country to move in with and marry me next month.
My advice is to only use Tinder and get Tinder Gold so you can see people who swipe right on you first. It’s super low barrier to entry and easy to ignore if you get tired of it for a while. Many people will disagree, but this attitude worked for me.
If you travel abroad, sign up in a country where Tinder Gold is cheap – you can renew at that subscription price when you get back home. I paid $8/month vs $20.
Match!
Discord for our mutual profession haha. It’s long distance right now but I’ll be moving at the end of the year.
I’m.37 too and sitting with the same.thoughts
Currently I just enjoy talking to chatgpt
Hate to disappoint you, but I met my husband on OkCupid at age 37.
I am not sure where you are but in the UK there are organised kind of group activity dates. It is not a cringe as it sounds. Essentially single people do something like paddle boarding or help paint a scout hut and maybe hit it off with someone.
My friend met her partner this way. They now have a house and a baby.
I was 38, he was 45. my divorce had been finalized a few months earlier after a year and a half separation. He had spent 20+ years with someone who didn’t want to get married, and had dated some other people more casually in the 3 or so years after that ended. We met on a dating website, had like 3 dates and turned off our profiles. Now married, one child, deliriously happy.
Almost 37 here (partner is 40), and I met him through my friend group in 2020. We had both been in the friend group for years but somehow never wound up at the same events. We hit it off when we first met but we were both going through some stuff and it wouldn’t have been a good time/I firmly believe that if we had started dating then, it would’ve gone really poorly. We still talked occasionally after that, but usually only at parties or events. I eventually got through the stuff I was dealing with, but it took a long time. Went to a con with him and two of our friends last April and it was like something clicked and we got together a couple of weeks later.
I was 33 and we met in a work related safety training class 😂 I have never done online dating
Hinge
I was 32 when I met my husband and it was online. Almost everyone I’ve ever dated was from online, I wasn’t good at meeting people “in the wild.”
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