I’m a female chubby chaser and for some reason whenever the topic of my dating preferences come up or when someone saw that I had a fat boyfriend they suddenly seem to treat me with less respect.
My one friend specifically gets annoyed/upset with me for liking fat guys only. I’m not loud about it, but if I bring up a guy I like she will get offended and be really cold with me. Same with my parents as back when I had a boyfriend and introduced him to them their reaction was very rude.
I feel pretty alone in this and like there isn’t much support for female chubby chasers
Comments
Hey, people like what they like. But you have to admit, the phrase ‘chubby chaser’ isn’t exactly gaining the kink respect.
I imagine it can come across as a bit objectifying depending on how you say it. Noone wants to feel like you only like them for their body and prioritise it above any other attribute.
I would be considered a “chubby chaser” as I only date bigger women and I’m not the least bit ashamed of it. As a strong guy, I need a big woman! People can look down on me all they want, I couldn’t care less what they think. They can take their opinion and shove it up their ass.
I think any fetish based on a specific physical attribute is going to get some reaction like this. Try not to be like “I like Dave because he is fat” and instead just go with “I like Dave”
You actually tell people you are a “chubby chaser”? Saying you like husky men would sound better. But same goes for men who like big gals, he’s kinda looked at like he’s different. BTW if you like bigger guys DM me, I’d like to chat.
They do the twist?
I’m a gay dude who likes them heavyset guys and I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about it. Fuck em.
But I think chubby chasers (regardless of gender) are sometimes looked down upon for it being viewed as a fetish. So you just can’t be weird about the attraction. I LOVE how big guys bodies look: i like a big belly, broad shoulders, thick thighs, etc. But his personality always comes first. And when I give a guy compliments on anything physical I’m always mindful of the wording. Cause like I mentioned, you don’t want it to sound fetish-y.
And why does your friend care so much? Like damn it’s your life, not hers. People who hate on fat guys don’t know how peak it is to cuddle up to a big teddy bear. Maybe if they experienced it they’d understand 😂
They’re only looked down on by people that can only look down(assholes)
I’m not a “chubby chaser” but I am a woman who doesn’t mind a guy with extra weight.
I just think there’s a social stigma around the idea that a thin/attractive woman is SUPPOSED to be with someone who is also conventionally attractive.
It means you target insecure women…
Objectifying people for a probably unhealthy lifestyle.. How sexy.
Ohhh I love a big Ole bear. They are so comfortable to cuddle with😊
Violates societal norms and the unspoken rule.
There’s a video that tangentially ties into this topic, essentially talking about status and how men or women vie to increase their status. If you’re chasing men substantially lower on the totem pole than you yourself in terms of physical attractiveness (by societal standards, not your own), you’re essentially lowering your own status and the status of those who associate with you.
This is, unfortunately, especially true for women who date less attractive men.
Another possible explanation that still ties into the societal norms theory is that it just isn’t relatable. If all of your friends enjoy a certain body type and you don’t, you’ll naturally be ostracized on this topic, sadly.
Quit telling people you prefer overweight men. Just let them figure it out.
Some people are just fatphobic. Full stop.
Other people disapprove of being into a person because of a specific trait. Like, imagine if someone’s only criteria for dating was “woman.” Literally nothing about age, personality, interests, etc.: their only pitch to prospective dates was, “Well, I’m into women, and you’re a woman, so I’m into you.” It can make people feel like you could easily replace them with a different person who happens to fulfill the same criteria, and so you don’t actually care about them as an individual person.
Get out of your high school
Mentality. There are guys that are attracted to everything out there. Dude people pay for pictures of feet. Get over it. If you like girls that don’t look like they starve themselves then embrace it. But if she needs to get healthy and loses weight you will have to come to grips on what you are attracted to.
Chasers are fetishizers. Any type of chasing is fetishizing
As an overweight person, I can tell you there is a simple answer. Society sees us as less valuable human beings. Consequently, lots of people can’t understand why anyone would “settle” for a fat partner.
It might be them not being able to understand. or like…you put these men over other men that other people would consider “better”.
They don’t understand, so they don’t like.
Your preferences are nobody’s business but yours and if they want to make fun and you, you know my father always said if they’re making fun of me, They are leaving some other fool alone. It’s a good thing. There are people who like heftier people because God knows there’s a lot of them around so somebody has to like them or there’d be a lot of single people and a lot less population
What concerns me is that you say you think you’re being treated by friends with less respect. Are you really sure or are you just imagining it? From the way your post is written, it sounds like you feel there’s something wrong with your preference and feeling like people are looking down on you. I can’t help thinking that you may be over analyzing their reactions. Maybe they think your underestimating your own value that you could do better? And is it the size of the guy or is it the guy’s personality that They judge.
To be very honest with you, I never cared for the super fit guys. The super handsome guys. The ones that I refer to as gym rats (honestly, I respect their dedication but seriously) I feel that a lot of those guys love themselves more than I ever could love them and that they’re always going to love themselves more than whoever they’re with. They always need to be the center of attention. I don’t think most of them are worth it. I mean, unless you’re looking for eye candy on your arm, you might better find someone who you actually enjoy spending time with. And if people don’t like it, maybe what you should be questioning is your taste in friends. I mean if they judge you because you like guys who are chubby then maybe they’re a little superficial for you. Maybe you need better friends.
It’s the term “chubby chasers” that makes it sounds fetishized. Saying that you’re a chubby chaser is different than saying I like chubby/larger men. Chubby chaser is a fetish. Chubby men is a preference.
Honestly, if you can learn to shrug it off, that’s your best course of action. Actually, one step better would be to lean into it and be funny about it. Then you’re setting the pace and can steer the conversation where you want it to go.
You like what you like. It doesn’t hurt anybody in any way, so do what you do.
bc ya’ll be into unhealthy bodies
I’m a heavier guy so it’s nice to remember at least some people like it! I also like bigger girls and I dunno I think some people might think it’s bad to like someone with an unhealthy body. I can see where they’re coming from I guess. Others just don’t like different. I think there’s lots of reasons to be honest.
I’d just ignore anyone who judges you for something so trivial. We love what we love!!!
How fat are we talking? Like a little thick around the edges or are we talking about some big fuckers here?
I think it’s seen as being a little like having a fetish for alcoholics.
Our culture holds that fat=bad. Even with the body acceptance movement, being overweight is still seen as a Bad Thing. There are still a lot of people who think obesity is always the product of food addiction or unhealthy choices.
By preferring large men, some will see that as enabling and even encouraging the sort of bad food choices they assume cause the obesity in the first place.
The fact that the chubby chaser group has some overlap with the feeder/feedee fetish doesn’t help.
Because people are fat phobic even if they don’t realize it.
Because they fetishize poor health
the only real comparison i can draw is “chasers” who go after trans people, and most people in their community don’t seem to be fans of them either
You like what you like, and if your friends can’t appreciate that…..they weren’t really friends in the first place
Everyone is so very jealous that your dating pool is huge! But also, men who spend a ton of time in the gym also enjoy women who have love handles. If they want kids, often women won’t be thin after them anyway.
My hubby wasn’t into women with weight and I was 28 to his 44 yrs old, still quite young. Unbeknownst to me at that time, I have a genetic condition that prevents me from losing weight in my thighs, bottom, and upper arms called Lipedema. It’s made worse with hormonal changes (puberty, children, menopause) and dieting (a sport!).
If you’re wondering why you’re always gaining weight doing the same exact thing that just 3 days ago you were losing weight doing, and then end up 10 to 15 lbs heavier in the end but you’re still starving yourself, it’s most likely Lipedema. Look up Lipedema. No cure but it’ll seriously explain things.
Men & women who are overweight — like 3/4th the American population! — don’t tend to fat shame each other.
I think that unfortunately there’s a lot of discomfort with a lot of female sexuality. Beyond “tall, dark and handsome” Monet sexual preferences of women are not exactly celebrated.
People don’t like fat people. It’s as simple as that. I see a lot of people complaining about the name “chubby chaser” , but I mean is short Kings now a kink? If a tall woman says she likes dating short Kings is she going to get shamed for that?
I don’t think it has shit to do with the name. People just don’t think fat people deserve love especially if they’re with someone that is even minimally attractive or in plain language, thin 😂.
It’s because you’re calling it chasing. Chasing is the specific act of going after someone for the fulfilment of physical attribute fetish. Trans chasers dehumanise trans women on the internet to a massive degree but “BBC” is another one that’s common as well as feet.
You should be “looking for a chubby guy” “don’t date average to skinny” “my preference is fat men”
Because it’s one thing to only date one type of person, it’s another to go after someone for that attribute alone.
Society teaches us that traditionally attractive people should only date other traditionally attractive people because they’re supposed to only be attracted to traditionally attractive people. Those who don’t do this are considered traitors to other traditionally attractive people, who could be dating them.
I’ve found that people who are thin have a hard time with other thin people being with bigger people, and boomers especially comment on weight.
I remember years ago I was walking with a friend that was really thin and random people commented – we weren’t together but I’m guessing people thought we were and took issue with it
Some people find it objectifying, others just gross.
I for one love big boys, but I don’t call myself any kind of chaser since it’s so negative a term.
Because it is better to aim high and miss than to aim low and make it?
There’s nothing wrong with… most of my best girlfriends were chubby chasers.
Honestly, I’ve always dated women that are much smaller and better looking than I am. Most of them liked me because I’m a bigger burly guy. I make them feel safe.
People that judge you are doing it because they assume your partners are lazy or lack self control and they assume something must be wrong with you to like someone like that. It’s just them projecting their own insecurities.
Sounds like you got the wrong people around you
Well so there are 2 parts.
1 is that fat people are devalued in pretty much every current globally-active society. Lots of people don’t care/can see the value of a person regardless of their body type (and if you don’t believe me, go to WalMart or Costco, etc. Fat people are out there getting married and having families), but as far as popular media/news goes, fat people are treated like trash. So the more easily influenced will openly reject/insult overweight people, even if they actually find them attractive (hence the term “scooter”, etc).
2 is of course there are people who don’t care about what popular society thinks and find a person attractive for the whole of their being, buuut there are also people who fetishize characteristics that popular media rejects – older people, race, fat people, trans people. And that is a problem because it isn’t acceptance. Instead of reducing a person to one quality and rejecting them for it, fetishists reduce the person to one quality and use it for their own pleasure. It’s no different than straight men who see all women as a walking vagina, or straight women who hit on any rich man because they’re just looking to get their bills paid.
If you are dating people solely because of their weight, meaning you wouldn’t be attracted to them at all if they were to lose it, then yeah, that’s kind of a problem, because you are taking a whole feeling, thinking person and reducing them to a toy. If you find their chub adorable or sexy or whatever but also vibe with their humor, admire their commitment to this or that cause, appreciate their style, etc etc and you would still care for them if their body changed (because bodies do, often without warning or any input from the person inside) then it’s whatever, do you and fuck the haters.
The fetish stuff is weird. Worse, some people think fat women will settle for less. They’re wrong, but still
Idk man I always thought they were doing God’s work. 🙏
I don’t know, send them on my way
Because the majority of people are not chubby chasers and if you are not in the majority, you are weird. /s
because eewww fatties