Years ago I had this teacher that was my seventh and later ninth language arts teachers. she was needless to say not a nice person to be around however one story that stands out in my head is in ninth grade we were reading some kind of Greek mythology and in the beginning of the class the teacher had said each of the characters names now when it was my turn to read I had trouble reading the names (which forced her to read the names out loud) and when I sat down the teacher said to me; “If you had paid attention to the way that I had said their names then you wouldn’t have need help.” Now first and foremost Greek names can be hard to pronounce and secondly I have a speech impediment, apraxia to be exact and the way it works is that my brain may know how to pronounce words but it comes to my tongue it can screw it up. Looking back I really should have reported her since that comment did hurt me, a lot. Ive always been aware of how I talk, how I need to slow down, make sure to emphasize certain syllables, etc. Everyone from my teachers and classmates knew about it, I would sometimes talk about how I went to speech class. But God that comment, that one single remake just destroyed my self confidence and even though I am much more confident then I have ever been before that comment still does lingers in my head whenever I talk to people. Oftentimes I worry that whenever I talk people think I’m dumb. For as much as I would like to say that I would let by gone be bygones if said teacher ever came up to me in the wild, I would not be. I would let her know how much that fucking remark did to me. Seriously people, think about your words especially when you’re a teacher.
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Was she batshit old? Because those teachers were ruthless and did not give a shit to embarrass their students. I had quite too many of those kind.
Ugh I feel this post! I was talking to my husband about a comment my mom had made.
I was 10 I think, and I was home alone at the time. I phoned my mom’s work because I was SCARED of the nasty thunderstorm we were having. It was dark, lights flickering, wind crazy, heavy rain. I remember thinking I just want my mom to tell me everything is going to be okay, and she will be home soon.
Well, after her coworker handed her the phone, I remember crying and overhearing her coworker asking “which one of your daughters is it?” Without hesitation, my mom just said “The fat one.” Instantly, in a second, I stopped crying, told her sorry for calling, the storm was almost over, and I’d be fine.
In that split second, my confidence suddenly vanished. It was the first time I ever been bullied about my weight to be completely honest. And looking back, I really wasn’t fat. I never thought of myself fat, UNTIL, I heard it from my mom.
I’m 28 now, with my 2nd daughter on the way, and I told my husband I never want to be like my mother, nor will I ever let my mother comment on my daughter’s (or children) body. 18 years later, and I remember that comment very well unfortunately.
What’s worse is when someone says something that stays with you forever and they deny ever saying it
I’ve been there before. I get it. But you know what you can do now? Stop letting that moment control you and create self-doubt.
You are more than enough, and the comment from the teacher was a reflection of her, not you. You are confident, intelligent, and, most importantly, kind.
Words matter; you are right. You define yourself. Not some teacher who felt the need to make a child feel small rather than inspire and encourage with their platform.
I was 5 and in first grade. My teacher mocked me along with the class for using phonetics for island as I hadn’t seen it before. I confidently said Iz land. Everyone laughed but as an adult? I was the only one who could actually read at that time. I did the thing I was taught to figure out words. The eye rolling and mockery? Made me hate that person and I became a holy terror. Any mispronunciation? “Shouldn’t you have learned by now Miss? It’s (correction) just like in the dictionary. I read the entire thing so I wouldn’t make mistakes again. Maybe you should try that.” This was her instruction since phonetics failed. Read the dictionary. I enjoyed reading it because Oxford. She ironically said Persephone as Per spe fon and I had learned that one already. She quit teaching and I think that was the right choice.