Today is mother’s day and my mom is upset that I didn’t wake up early to wish her happy mother’s day or to make her coffee in bed. Her expectation is that I get up at 6/7 and bringing her and her partner coffee and breakfast in bed and wishing them a happy mother’s day (her partner is a woman).
I’m not a morning person and slept till about 8:30. Now, the day before we discussed lunch for today and I said that I want to make lunch and then we’ll also watch a movie and spend time together.
This is getting out of proportion and I was compared to my decreased brother again and I screamed I wish I was in that (pointing to thr bix with his ashes) and that he was still alive. Whenever I mess up, my brother would be brought into the conversation and compared to how perfect he is.
I have feelings of wanting to kill myself again. Was I wrong for not making an effort to get up early? Also I didn’t say happy mother’s day to my mom’s partner which made things even worse. I have nothing against my moms partner, I literally grew up in front of her, but it’s just, I feel that I can only say that to my mom.
I have feelings like I wish I didn’t exist. I always find ways to screw things up. Please help me make sense of this.
TL:DR I messed up mother’s day by sleeping in and not making my mom and her partner coffee, and also for not saying happy mother’s day to my mom’s partner (it’s a woman). Please help
Comments
Ok just breathe.
Relax, your mother sounds very toxic. If you made plans for mother’s day, like you said, lunch and all that, then those are the plans. It’s completely unreasonable of her to be upset because you didn’t go above and beyond. Bringing up your deceased brother as a way to shame you is such an incredibly toxic thing to do, I would’ve cut ties with her a long time ago just for that alone.
Didn’t feel bad, I would go ahead with the plans you had for today, and honestly work on putting distance between you, your mother and her partner. Don’t think that you HAVE to sacrifice your mental health just because she’s your mother. You have to look out for your self first and foremost! I really hope you’re able to find peace!