So I (M21) am american and I was thinking recently, it seems like everybody moves out or is pressured to once they’re 18.
With costs going up in everything, I don’t understand why americans don’t just do multi generational homes anymore. I understand if you just don’t agree with it, but I don’t understand why it’s not more popular either.
Why is it bad, if it is a house that’s like this (parents, son+daughter, son & daughter partners). The parents can set up rules but it can be cheaper for everybody if they pitch in, Plus it gives the son and daughter and their partner’s time to save up so they can be somewhat financially comfortable in moving out.
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I’m (M19) from United States. My family raised me well but god I can’t wait to live alone. Having a house that is going to be all mine when paid for is something that keeps me going to work. Things like that, I won’t live with even a best friend. Only a spouse a
Because american culture is generally shaped by marketing trends and if a family of 6 splits off ASAP into 4 separate households that means they need 4 mortgages, 4 more cars minimum, 4 more of everything you need to make a home functional like appliances and curtains and repairs. Smaller families are also more likely to go into debt, so banks like this arrangement and do things like set up their marketing and classes and whatnot to encourage people to be financially separate units.
Honestly, I could never live with my parents again. At best, I tolerate their presence because I feel obligated to because they’re family. They are micromanagers who always have something to say and are very critical of everyone, and they think they’re being helpful, but really they’re just rude and don’t think before they speak. Plus they don’t understand how we are raising our kids and always try and be sneaky about certain things like trying to make my kids finish their meals, when we do not push that bullshit in our house. So, although it would make my life a hell of a lot easier to lean on them for help with childcare as well as cheaper housing by living all together, I’ve accepted the fact that we are just going to have to struggle without a village and just do our best.
We intentionally bought a house with a Mother in Law apartment. Our daughter, son in law and granddaughter live with us. It’s great for all of us.
The push for single family homes post ww2 weren’t built with multi generational in mind.
I would assume it’s because they don’t want to live with their parents/children. There’s also a big social expectation that you have to move out and be on your own.
My husband and I live with his father and it’s such a win/win situation. He’s a trucker so he’s often away, but the house is also big, so we don’t feel on top of each other when we’re all at home.
We can save a ton thanks to that and get “free” babysitting (for when we will have children).
I cannot imagine living with my parents – ever.
Unfortunately, it’s just the norm that was set up as time went by. The classic “You’re 18 your an adult now get out and make your own life”. I was reading something a while back and it was explaining how this ideology was kind of solidified during the world wars where lots of young men and women of the ages 18-20 were shipped off to war. once they came back, they were older, and so naturally, they started their own lives. Once they had children, the same thought process of “I did this at this age, so you must do this at this age” just kind of repeated itself and it became the normal tradition in the US.
In my case my 3 kids found better employment 75, 225 and 1200 miles from home. If they had found work they wanted nearby, they probably would have stayed for some period of time.
Beyond this, Americans prefer the independence of living their own lives.
Because Americans are taught to value independence over everything. When immigrants were coming over from their countries they would have multigenerational homes, split bills and responsibilities, save money, build investments, but were shamed and discriminated into American independence.
My parents are a bit odd when it comes to me living with them at almost 30. My mom loves it cause she has extra help around the house and I don’t mind running errands for her or going to get dinner if they feel like ordering out. My dad finds it insulting and can”t wrap his brain around how I can’t afford to be on my own like my sisters were at my age (ignoring the fact they were put through college that my parents paid for with a goal in mind of what they wanted to do, parents helped pay for their first apartments, and I didn’t get any of that).
Because American culture emphasizes independence moving out is seen as a milestone of adulthood, even if it’s not always practical.
The house I live in was built by my greatgrandfather. My grandchildren are the 6th generation to spend time here. When the missus and I go, the child that expresses the most interest in maintaining it will be the recipient.
I left at 18 joining the Army for a few years. I came back and went to school.
I had no issues living at home at that time but there was no way in hell I could see myself living there with a GF or Wife.
The US is very focused on independence and individualism.
My own family mostly lived in tiny apartments with little room. And they’re completely dysfunctional, I moved out as soon as I finished college.
when you get the most valuable real estate on earth for $25, a few blankets, and a couple thousand lives you dont have to. The US is the most under populated area on earth for the population it can support.
I don’t shame people for still living with family, but I got out as soon as I could and never looked back. I love my family. I never want to live with them again.
most people have had enough of their parents criticizing and controlling their lives not to mention possible abuse and emotional manipulation. couple thst with over 50% divorce rate and most young adults can’t wait to get away and use their parents lives as a lesson on what not to become. even if later in life you move a parent in to help them you can almost guarantee they will attempt to micromanage and insert their unwanted opinions on how you should live your life.
I can’t even let my parents know who I am without getting disowned, I’ll pass
You realise the parents pushing the kids to move out at 18 aren’t the ones with issues having the kids stay home a bit longer, right?
It might also be a significant subconscious factor that American houses are built of wood which means there is ZERO privacy.
So in a lot of cultures multigenerational homes are expected and honestly a lot of the cultures that influence that have pretty toxic parenting by modern standards.
In America, the old dream that was possible at a time was to move out and create a family with your paternal family nearby to help. Or to take care of them later.
The reality as it is now is that.
It’s falling apart. Elders can no longer afford the high cost of afterlife care. Whether that’s facilities or just their retirement. Newly adults are finding it to expensive or impossible to move out.
So the idea of the multi home is become a potential necessity.
I like the freedom to live with my spouse and my kids and raise them how we want, without influence from older generations that tend to be …whatever their issue was. I’m a millennial so we were lucky to get into the housing market. We’ve hit a point where we have the potential to raise our kids as we would like while housing my mom later.
Another factor to because this reminded of it. Many parents from my parents generation divorced once they had the freedom to do so. So I can’t be household that holds both my parents, because they cannot stand each other.
However i am making my home so that my kids can feel comfortable staying as long as they reasonably need. But it comes with some lack of freedom. Reasonable ones. And I will help them financially is needed. I.e recognizing they may need help with rent or down payments rather than telling them it’s because they didn’t walk their applications in person
It’s nuanced
Sharing a home with another adult is incredibly difficult, even if that person is a mate you have chosen to share your life with. Living with other adults who are in your life because of DNA is a whole other level of difficulty.
Cause no one wants to live with their parent’s rules.
I could never live with my parents or in laws. I love them, but that’s a big fat no from me dawg.
I think it depends on how large the house is and income level determining how many resources are available.
Not American, but Canadian. You couldn’t pay me enough to live with my parents again.
growing up both sets of great grandparents lived with my mother’s parents and my one aunt and cousin lived in the house as well, later they moved 3 houses down but that’s a different story.
on my father’s side my grandmother had one of my aunts, one of my uncles (not married) and their respective children in the house. it does happen quite often.
my neighbor has 2 of her daughters, their children and her niece i think there is 7 of them all together in a small 900sqft townhome.
I’d rather live in an RV by the river than ever live with my parents again. Lord, just thinking about it gives me cold sweats.
Its a very multifaceted reason for this, but in the long run it comes down to money and being willing. People need money to keep it up. And if there are any siblings they need to ether get along with them, or have the money to buy them out when their parents die. If even one sibling wants to sell then its all over. Then its just if the house is big enough to live comfortably like that.
” White ” people don’t think like that. They’re all taught to be independent. They’ve never had it as an example before them and their parents didn’t have an as an example before them.
Because we’re stupid and don’t know any better. Been brainwashed that as soon as we turn 18 we need to move out and get an apartment and throw away half our income on rent instead of saving to actually purchase property. Then we complain about houses being unaffordable. But we’re the ones who entered the trap of poverty. 🤷🏽♂️
Mainly just cause kids can’t stand living with their parents so they run away first chance they get.
Why would we do this? It sounds awful.
Because ew
They do.
I think the idea of “kicking you out at 18” stopped being a thing maybe 30-40 years ago.
Pretty sure the trends today show most 20 year olds and early 30s are going to back to live with parents or don’t move out.
Depends on the situation.
I have an old coworker, he and his wife bought a house with his daughter/son-in-law. It’s divided like two suites with a shared community area. It helped the kids get started on home ownership.
But in a lot of situations, work isn’t where our parents live. Where my parents live, there aren’t great jobs. They moved there from their parents houses because they lived in a bad job market.
But also, I can’t live with my parents. Every time I leave the house, “where are you going?”, “who are you seeing?”, “when will you be back?”. I’m gonna go raw-dog a girl with poor morals in the back of her Kia after we both have too many Fireball shots, mother; is that the discussion you want to have right now?
I think it’s more popular than it used to be given the high cost of everything now relative to what things used to be.
And frankly, I get it. I could live with one of my parents and be perfectly fine, but unfortunately the other one is also there and so I don’t, for the sake of my sanity. I have some friends who get along well with their parents and so are living with them drama-free. It’s also allowing some of them to accrue significantly more savings than many people my age would otherwise be capable of.
But at some point it became highly stigmatized to stay at home with your parents and society has been slow to catch up to the changing reality of life in America, in this and other areas of life.
This sounds like my worst nightmare. Not everyone has families that are willing to do this and not everyone has parents that would be willing to treat them respectfully or as adults in this scenario. I was told not to come back after college and my quality of life and mental health improved so much not being around my parents. I’d rather be broke and live in a tent.
Old people went from having a purpose to watching news and social media.
In the 1950’s grandparents lived at home or family’s moved back in. I know many older people who live in their parent’s homes and have their whole lives.
Old people would still garden, do yard work, help cook and clean and have a reason to be around.
Before 1900 they could still do chores on farms and keep busy.
Now they scream at the tv and that’s just not fun to be around.
Oh, they’re starting to
We do now! My parents were awful, but our child is wonderful and she likes us.
This is becoming much more popular. Housing wasn’t as hard to come by in The US in previous generations.
I think we will be going in that direction in the next 10-20 years. It’s only been since the 1950s that we trended away from multi-generational living. You used to be able to graduate from high school, get a job, and afford a house. Now everything (college, homes, etc) is so expensive and going up. It won’t be realistic to leave home at 18.
I don’t have any stats but it feels like this is happening naturally as housing prices continue to go up.
This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately but for a different reason. I live in a small town. It’s rural. Many people live on large agricultural properties. Our school is struggling with funding and trying desperately to pass a tax levy. The elderly folks make up the majority and keep voting it down because they say they are being taxed out of their homes by rising property values. I’ve been wondering if it might be smart for them to move some younger members of their family in to their large homes. Then they could afford to stay and the school could survive. There’s no way they are able to care for these properties on their own. It just makes sense.
Individualism
Lots of people will disagree with what I have to say. But I’d argue that they are ignoring facts.
It’s not that it is bad to have multigenerational homes. We just don’t need it. We are the wealthiest nation on the planet. Even our poor are wealthier than the poor in other countries.
I’ve wondered the same. My friend in London and his brother, both well into adulthood, live at home and help their mom with rent and chores – benefits everyone. I think in America there’s this high value placed on individualism and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and not needing any help, which is unfortunate bc sometimes those values can also discourage community and support.
We let our kids stay home till they wanted to launch. One launched & one still home… both successful & employed & fabulous. If my parents weren’t dead I’d have them with us as well!
Living with others takes a huge mental toll on some of us. If I actually took therapy to adress all the damage it’s done, I’d be lucky to cut even, and I’m not even in ‘merica where that kind of thing is expensive
I tried to help my family. Started a business, they joined me and then ended up stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars and I went to jail. Then, I did it again, built up my career, tried to help my sister… she refused to pay rent or help and I found her sneaking in another roommate without my knowledge while I had kids in my home! There are tons of other things as well, here, your family will simply stab you in the back. Those are American values.
Some Americans do especially in Latino and some Asian communities.
I remember when I was in middle and high school, a big topic talked about was graduating from high school and moving out so we could be independent.
I will not live in the same state as my parents until they are both in the cemetery.
It’s a post-WWII thing. Before then, extended families living together wasn’t uncommon or frowned upon. However, with so many vets able to A) go to college for free, B) buy a house with a VA mortgage which was way cheaper than the norm back then, and C) own a car thanks to the good job they have and the strong economy, it started to be seen as the mark of failure to live at home. Why should you, when shit came so easily? Things have changed but those kind of views die hard.
People think the term “nuclear family” has to do with the Atomic Era that this phenomenon occurred in. It actually means the very center core of the family- parents and minor children – as opposed to extended family.
The middle class experiment and the atomization of the American home drive by the corporate desires to sell more shit cause you can sell another lawn mower when you have people move out, basically broke the family structure. The need for double income and the weaponization of 2nd wave feminism to create another entire working class as if people weren’t already working, tapped in. Then you had the alteration of the school system to basically increasingly remove the act of parenting from the kids….
And you have multiple generations of people that are poorly cared for and therefore want to GTFO because it’s part of the narrative and also because shit parenting means you need to remove yourself from abuse but without proper care and developmental support, you end up perpetuating the cycle by also being kinda a mess.
Think that about covers it.
Some people don’t want to live in the same town as their parents. After college and grad school, I’m more than 1,000 Mike’s from my parents. I have no interest in moving to their town.
We had a 980sq ft house.2 bedrooms 1bath.
Raised two kids, a big dog & two cats but TOO SMALL for more than two adults.
My youngest does actually live in a house that’s smaller, but it has a better floorplan & they are on an acre.
Oldest has three bedrooms & two bathrooms.
They both have built in dishwashers though, I had to wait till I was 65 for that!
womer will not date man who is live with parents
I was going to support your premise until I read it in full. The power of multigenerational living is NOT in that it allows a young couple to save money and then move out. It is in that every generation continues to contribute to the overall well-being of every other generation. Grandparents get to be a part of raising grandchildren, providing far better childcare than what could ever be purchased. Younger generations provide the care for their elderly parents and grandparents. Everyone benefits. What you are describing is the younger generation mooching off of their parents for as long as possible.
I don’t know I don’t like living with people and I have lived with people off and on throughout my life but I just don’t like sharing space with anyone. I barely manage my spouse in the same area, and I have five grandkids and I can handle any of them for a day or two but that’s about it.
I’m 24 live at home, my boyfriend 24 lived at home. His older siblings 29 and 33 only recently moved out. I lived in my own apartments for college and my mom invited me back home. I don’t plan to leave until I have a huge amount of $ saved. My grandmother and siblings live here too! Everyone has our own room and contribute uniquely to chores and bills. Life is easier for everyone this way I love it!
I’m next door in Canada and I can tell you a few possible reasons.
My parents were Boomers. They grew up in multigenerational homes (grandparents) and found growing up with those tyrants awful. So they never wanted to have to live with us later in life.
As for why my siblings didn’t want to live at home: my parents fought a lot. Also as long as you’re living in their house, there’s no going out late, no drinking (anywhere, even when legal), no sex, no, no, no.
I was the youngest. Both my parents were dicks. Without getting into it, I was invited to leave when I turned 18, with no warning, no experience, and no money.
Those are just a few reasons it can be problematic living with family.
Because we’re all sick of each other.
I don’t want to live with my parents or in laws. Love them.both but I’m an adult and want to control my own house and have privacy with my wife
Rugged individualism
Culturally, we’re descendent from people who left it all behind. (Acknowledging that we also have a lot of people descendent from people who were forced to be here). My ancestors left their countries to live on their own. There was some multi-generational living somewhat, but people kept moving and homesteading. Manifest Destiny and whatnot.
The idea was you’re a success if you’re able to move out on your own.
I think too, in the modern world, women found freedom by moving out and living on their own or with roommates. 50 or 60 years ago, it wasn’t considered ok for a woman to move out before marriage. Gotta protect that virginity! But as women gained college degrees and started having careers, some of that was escaping families that wanted them adhere to social norms.
We are trying this atm. But our extended family are lazy bums, racists and ignorant. Considering how to get them of the property.
We should have asked more questions.
i was a thing, when i was growing up, but then we all lived in the same area, all worked in the same hood and we all had three family triple deckers, all the child rearing moms were stay at homes ….. as factories, downtowns faded, the youngers had jobs that were further away and sometimes , hours away and the younger family members moved long distance and single family homes became the “in”thing. and more moms went to work to help pay for that single family/ pursue their own careers……….
i wish my kids had grown up in a tight hood with all the extended family around but then again, i am glad that we chose to move to a more rural area where they had woods to hike, explore, quite nights to sleep in the back yard tents.
That used to be a thing. I am not sure when this faded out, but it did. Houses were also designed to make it possible. Basements and then 4 or 5 floors. Most places were renovated to apartments.
My mother grew up this way. During the race riots in Newark New Jersey, the family went different ways. Several went to bayonne. My mothers family came to the jersey shore.
My fathers family was similar.
The majority of homes in the USA are built as single family dwellings. The bog farmhouses you see in old shows like the Waltons are not much of a thing anymore
My brother and I (20 and 23 at the time) lived with our parents until they divorced. I moved away for work and my brother lived with her for another year, they absolutely could not live together after that. Having space between me and my family is essential. Having separate households is key to our families not driving each other insane.
I think in years past, it was uncomfortable for an adult person to live with mom and dad.
I know for myself, I did NOT want to live at home. The house was small. The garage small. The bathroom. situation….was bad.
My parents still haven’t leveled up. They have had the same house since 1985.
With the growing trend of kids moving back in with their parents or not leaving the nest at all we just about are living in multi-generational homes. With the way the cost of living is increasing, I can definitely see multi-generational living becoming more of a thing.
I love my mom and dad but I 109% do not want to live with them. They’re also old, not disabled, and can take care of themselves
My grandmother was widowed and my mom was widowed. We lived with grandma so it was three generations and it worked out very well, IMO. I had a very good childhood.
because our parents are awful boomers.
Because most people have been forced to have kids they don’t want, therefore raising kids who grow to resent their parents for having the expectation of caring for them when they’re older.
I don’t get along with my parents. So to live with them with my spouse and own children- no thank you. I know it’s a thing in other countries and it does work. But when there’s toxicity among family members it’s not worth it.
Plus- I’d like to be able to be free to- for example- walk around the house in my birthday suit and not see other generations of family.
My parents are abusive pricks, but even if they weren’t, I don’t want to follow anyone else’s rules.
We’re suggesting it to our sons and so far it appears they’re going to take us up on that. It makes a lot of sense because we’re in a HCOL area of California, have a large house on a large yard and they can save a ton even while picking up a small part of the expenses. We’re looking into creating another master upstairs and have plans for a 1200 square foot apartment above our shop.
The eldest is planning on kids and having extra adults around makes care easier, gives them a break sometimes and lets us do things with grandchildren. If people really need a break someone can go to the ranch for a week or two. I sometimes WFH there now.
As we age there will be a time where we can no longer do as much and the plan is to teach them how to be a homeowner and do the maintenance. I’ll do it and they can help and get exposed to stuff while we have many hands carrying the load.
The American system is set up to divide the family. Too much to type but it’s set up for each person to be completely separate from family and work a lot to be able to afford things they don’t need
Tbh this is fairly common here in reality but there is a mentality that many have here that dictates that people should strike out on their own at or near 18 and if you dont do that you’re an unsuccessful loser. Of course that can certainly be the case if you’re 48 years old living in your mom’s basement doing nothing but playing video games or whatever. I know quite a few people who have gotten their own home and moved one or more relatives in. Normally those people require care due to medical issues or are likely to soon because they’re quite old.
I feel like a whole lot of people living paycheck to paycheck would be a lot more comfortable if multi-generational homes were the norm here and there would be a lot less heartbroken elderly folks who get dumped into nursing homes when it’s not medically necessary.
I think part of it is a function of distance. I live thousands of miles away from my family.
I have a multi generational house. 3 kids still live with me and a mother in law. It sucks. No privacy.
Most 18-year-olds are convinced they will do well enough to not need to stay home for financial reasons.
The boundaries in the USA are more legal than cultural. “It’s my house so I can impose rules” is the accepted culture here as oppose to, “I want for my kids and their spouse, kids to live with me so I’m going to bend my rules and expectations to accommodate them.”
I have really weird sex very loudly and don’t like my family enough to change that
I cannot speak for others but I’m gay and they are religious. On hubby’s side, oh H E LL no I do not need that much trauma drama.
Because most Americans are too selfish and aggressive to get along with each is the sad truth. Grown kids stay home? They refuse to do anything to contribute. Parents stay with kids? They treat the kids like children and try to run their lives. We all have terrible manners and it costs us hundreds of thousands of dollars so we can each buy our own giant house, so even the nuclear family can be far apart while they’re at home.
We do. Before my grandmother passed away we were three generations from 0-94.
I dunno about you but the thought of trying to do it with my lady with my parents in the next room is a total drag… that was my prime reason for moving out when I was young I won’t even lie.
It depends a lot on your culture and economic situation. In a lot of cases living alone is a privilege.
I can tell from the comment section a lot of you had shitty parents
Some people do, some people don’t. It really comes down to after a while as you get older if your parents will respect you as a grown adult while living at the house. And then you as the adult living at the house living as an adult and not the child. Basically it comes don’t to can the dynamic evolve peacefully.
Not sure where you live but those times have changed. A lot of people are living at home to save money. I know college grads who live at home so they can save up and then move out.
People should do what they want to do. If you’re lucky enough to have a family that still loves you living with them. Do it!
I like privacy, I don’t fucking want roommate, especially when they become to old to pay the bill
You could not pay me any amount to have me live with anyone other than my wife.
I don’t want to see my family more than the few times a year I currently do
I was in a serious ski accident in 2010 so I moved in with my sister and her family to rehabilitate for six months. I ended up staying for 15 years to help them raise my niece and nephew. This allowed us to arrange our work schedules to maxium our time with them and to pool our resources to have a much better standard of living.
For several generations it hasn’t been financially necessary. IMO the times they are a’ changing.
Ok, I’m not opposed at all to multi generational households, but at the point the children become the breadwinners or primary caretakers, the parents rules shouldn’t apply.
I grew up in a multigenerational home and it was overstimulating to say the least. Living alone is much preferred
Our adult children (19F and 26M) still live at home. There is not reason to move out. Our house is big enough, our son works 5 minutes away. He would have to drive longer to live in a place that would take a lot of his income. The way the economy being the way it is, he can stay as long as he wants.
Why the hell would I want to live at home and listen to my sister and step-mom scream at each other every day and be given the silent treatment by my step-mom like she’s resentful that I exist? Or be judged every time I walk into the kitchen? Or not get enough to eat and not have room to cook and store my own food?
No thanks. I’ll take living on my own any day, where I’m allowed to take up space. Being around her puts me in constant fight-or-flight mode.
Question: who’s parents? The husbands or wives? Because once you have a partner that becomes your family in US. So whose parents would you live with? What if they don’t like your partner? Would you make them “suck it up?”
I’m not against the idea. It’s actually a great idea if all get along and have their own space. We are different culturally. We don’t keep our opinions to ourselves. We don’t listen to other people’s parents and we don’t like being controlled. That’s just baseline. Now let’s think about intimate moments? That’s not really plausible in the homes here. Or what if you don’t agree how the grandparents parent your children? So many concerns and the American culture is made to have one family in one home. Then when your parents age you bring them to live with you.
As an adult, why should I subsidize my stepdaughters lifestyle?
Aka, you’re “grown,” meaning “you can come and go as you please, have your BF over, etc.”….. that’s what roommates do.
Last time I checked roommates’ pay rent, split utilities, etc.
There is no equity here. You don’t pay rent. Therefore, you need to get TFU and pay your own way.
This is why the “multi-generation” rhing isn’t mainstream in America society.
Maybe it’s just because we have a healthy relationship with my parents but instead of, “the parents set up rules…” it would look more like, “all of the adults in the house talk about their boundaries and expectations for living together.”
I grew up in a multigenerational home, and all I remember is the bickering and resentments. Sometimes over money, food, chores, child rearing, but the biggest fights were over differing lifestyles. Like, my grandmother was a night owl and she’d be up clanging around the house at all hours, TV blaring, or drinking coffee and playing cards with her sisters until well after midnight, while we all needed to be up early for work and school. Or my father and uncle getting into fights over their wives not liking each other.
While we got close when I was grown and on my own, growing up I hated living with my grandmother because she was a tyrant. I resented the relationship that my cousins had with her, because they didn’t live with her and got to enjoy their visits with her.
People tend to romanticize multigenerational living, but it can be very chaotic and stressful. I moved out as young as I could, and it was just so nice to have peace and quiet, privacy, and no one else’s messes to clean up.
Because adults don’t want to live with their parents. They want privacy and to make their own rules in their own home and not still be seen as childern who need to listen to their parents.
Living with parents leaves the adult childern forever in the ” child” role and the parents in the parental ” you need to listen to me” bullshit role.
Adults don’t want to have sex with their partners under their parents roof. They want the freedom to decorate their home how they want and do whatever they want in their home without judgment. They want the freedom to have loud sex and walk around half naked if they choose.
You can’t do any of that while living with your parents.
I read the Reddit community that is full posts from miserable multi-generational homes. I grew up in one. It’s not that great.
My oldest wanted to marry and move away. My youngest wanted to stay forever. We ever had her BF for a while, but despite having jobs, they didn’t contribute anything, not even cleaning their bathroom. Buhbye (late 20s)
I think mandatory out at 18 is ridiculous. The idea of them paying rent and then giving them x amount back to buy a house when they move out at ~ 22-25 is brilliant and I wish we’d done that.
Are you asking why people didn’t buy a 7-bedroom home so that their grown children and grandchildren could all live with them? It’s because that wasn’t feasible or necessary twenty years ago.
Are you asking why people don’t allow their grown children to continue living with them? Many of them do. But, again, It wasn’t necessary 20 or 30 years ago, so some people have trouble understanding why their children can’t do the same as they did. Others pay attention to housing costs.
Because most of our families are abusive and dysfunctional. They are in most other countries too but their culture says that’s not allowed so they suffer abuse for their entire lives.
From experience, it was being financially taken advantage of. Never again.
Look, I don’t want to sound privileged, but I’d actually rather die than live with my parents and grandparents.
I love my parents but I’d hate to live with them.
Having my own space, to do my own things, and do them when and how I want to is a blessing.